Angel's New Better Body September Challenge - Page 3 - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

Angel26519 · 09-07-2003, 10:26 PM

Quick Note to say Hi to Everyone.... Just got in and I am exhausted.... will catch up with everyone tomorrow.....

Hi to the newbie Lavender!!!! Welcome aboard.... we are growing by leaps and bounds!!!!!

YEAH!!!!

Talk to you guys tomorrow!

angel4real · 09-08-2003, 12:59 AM

Angel, Welcome back... So how did it go? I bet you worked your Butt off while you were there. I don’t know why, but for some reason I thought that you were going to be gone allot longer...I bet you are glad to be home though. I know we are glad that you are back.

Redballon: I think you misunderstood Lavender. She has a 3 year old. Not 3 children. Although at that age, sometimes it is like having 3 children. They are a lot of work at that age, but also a of fun.

Beth: Sounds like you really have your hands full. I don’t envy you, that’s for sure.
You will be in my prayers. I pray that you come out of this with your sanity still intact. I mean 4 men in the house. Its enough to drive a woman crazy. Lol

Lavender Girl: Welcome. I'm happy that you found us. There are so many groups to pick from here, and you picked us. .You’re in the right place. Everyone here is great and very supportive. I'm sure you will be happy with this support you receive here.
Just remember We are always here for you. You and I are the same height. And right now my GW is 150. I have lost 17 pounds so fat since July 25. I'm on the Atkins diet. If I don’t like the way I look at 150, I will re-evaluate it then, but right now 135 seems to thin for me. I am large frame, and the last time I was 145 people said I looked too skinny.
I guess I will see how I feel when I get there.

Rainbow
I'm glad that you are feeling better. Good luck with the rest of your novel this week.
I cant wait till your all done, and we can buy a copy of it. I want an Autographed copy ;-)

Ok well it’s getting late, SO I’m off to bed.

Hope everyone had a great weekend.

I will check back again later.

Mia

redballoon · 09-08-2003, 01:04 AM

Whoops! Sorry about that Lavender. I hadn't read back. I was just going on what I remembered and I see I remembered wrong!

Thanks for setting me straight, Angel4real.

Angel26519 · 09-08-2003, 07:53 AM

Ok Everyone - I have gotten some sleep and so maybe I will be understandable.....

The past 3 days were grewling.... I removed wallcovering that was 25 years old (and UGLY!) from the foyer and 2 bathrooms, removed border paper from 2 bedrooms, ragged rolled the foyer, painted 2 bedrooms a pretty pale yellow and hung a border in one, used granite texturized paint in the masterbedroom and one bath, painted the 1/2 bath, and hung wallcovering in the other bath.... I didnt get the kitchen, livingroom or dining room done. Ran out of time.... I am so exhausted!!!!! and cant move!

I love doing this type of stuff just not all in 3 days.... unfortunately they dont live close enough for me to go over on the weekends and do a room at a time!!!!

SO lets see if I can catch up with everyone....

Angel26519 · 09-08-2003, 08:22 AM

Ok the rest of my post got deleted so I thought I would start over....

Rainbow- I hope you are feeling better.... fasting while on your TOM may not be the best... especially if you have heavy TOM's.... I know that before my hysterctomy I wold lose so much blood that I became severely enemic and would be so weak and sick feeling.... Maybe during TOM go on a modified Adkins type diet which would give you lots of protien to keep your energy up and your enemia at bay..... then go back on the fasting after....

Red- I understand the financial woes.... I am sorry to hear about your newspaper... hopefully you will still be able to work there or find someplace else that is beneficial to you..... it is going to be hard when they cut our commission.... that is alot of money to me to be missing..... then on top of that my ex called me last night and wants me to meet him for lunch which means he is about to ask me to skip child support again for awhile.... he already owes almost 10,000 in back child support.... UGH!!!!!

Just try to stay on program.... which I know is hard! You are doing so great with the sugar thing..... you dont want to sabatoge yourself now.... you can do it... take all your frustrations out at the gym or tak a walk....

Orange- How was the weigh in at WW.... I didnt do to well last week when I weighed in and I missed saturdays.... going to go sometime this week and will keep you posted....

Pye- Hi there!!!! How are you doing? We like having all these new people on board! Are you being able to stay on prgram.... What is Change One? I am curious.....

Beth- Good Luck with all the guys in your house.... at least they came to help you get the siding back on your house.... what is going on with the people that took your money? Anything happen to them or are you just going to have to chalk it up to lesson learned? That is so bad when people are evil like that.... I hope you house will be back to rights soon for you and that stress will be gone!

Mia- How is it going for you? Have you been able to stay on program or have you fallen off the wagon like me (again!)... I am going to start fresh this week! I have really got to get some focus on this....

Lavender- WELCOME!!!! Where in Europe are you? Are you there for the military or for other reasons? I just went to Italy in May for my honeymoon and just fell in love.... I would probably move there tomorrow if I could.....The great hing about Europe is that you are so close to other countries that you could travel much easier than you can from here....
Having a height/weight limit for your job???? YUCK!!!! I dont think they are allowed to do that here in the states can they....

What type of program are you following? You may have said and I forgot.... we are all doing different things along the way.... Beth is our BIG LOSER here right now.... she is close to goal weight (YEAH FOR HER!!!!!)

LKB- WAY TO GO ON THE 2# Weight Lose!!!!! That is wonderful...... We are proud of you!!!!!!

Keep up the good work!!!!!

Well - I am going to try to refocus myself.... get my act together.... I have so much going on and I have to get this part of my life in order....

Hope everyone else is doing great!!!! Talk to you soon!

rainbowmyst · 09-08-2003, 06:59 PM

Hello Everyone!!!

I am definitely "back among the living"!!! I got off of my ample derriere today after acting like a beached whale for the past two weeks.

The good news is that post TOM -- I weighed in at 181.5 this morning. I hope to break into the 170's by the end of the week. That's going to be a "milestone" for me.

I don't know about anyone else...but I can tell you exactly what I weighed on any significant day of my life. HOW SICK IS THAT????
Seriously, how many people do you know chart their lives by what they weighed at a given point?

The last time I saw the 170's was 1998 -- I remember it clearly because my father-in-law died on Labor Day that year and I remember thinking how embarrassed I'd be at the wake once everyone realized I'd gained so much weight that I was "in" the 170's. Now I ask you -- who in their right mind remembers stuff like that????

What's even weirder is that having hit 240 at my top weight...I am now looking at the 170's as being relatively thin! Talk about a shift in perspective.

So what does this tell me? It tells me that I've got a major "image problem" and I really have to sit down and try to figure out at what weight I feel best about myself. The last time I felt "normal" was at 115lbs. -- but I haven't seen those days since I became pregnant with my first child at the age of 28.

I "was sort of okay with" the way I looked then -- but that's a heck of a long time ago....do I even REMEMBER what I really looked like? It's almost like I view that period B.C. (before children) through some kind of rose colored glasses. BOY WAS I THIN!!! (but funny...I didn't think so then....but then again I grew up when everyone who didn't look like "Twiggy" was considered a blimp.)

So my goal for the month of September is to come to terms with who I am -- not the person some magazine told me I should be back when I was fourteen. But there's a problem...come to think of it -- as far as I know, somebody (family, friends, magazines) was ALWAYS telling me what I should look like -- so how will I ever know what's me and what's a message someone else placed in my head?

When I was a very little girl (5 years old) the teenage boy down the block used to tease me for being 'skinny.' By the age of 8, I was being teased for being 'too fat'. Was I ever just "me" devoid of someone else's opinions? This is an issue to think about. And did my life long struggle with obesity have anything to do with my self-image being twisted by other people? I have a horrible feeling that it did. The "problem" was always there -- it only took the catalyst of depression to make it bloom forth in all its chubby splendor.

Question for everyone: Did your body image become shaped by other people? I am wondering if I am the only one who feels their mind was "warped" by other people's opinions.

In any event -- as you can clearly see -- Rainbowmyst is back to her old chatterbox self.

I'm not going to make too many comments to everyone individually until I get back in the stream of things. I'm trying to catch up on past posts...and it may take awhile. Also, I've noted that I missed Beth's anniversary -- so a happy belated Beth!

Welcome to Lavendar -- and Pye....

Hi Angels!

Red and Orange -- have you realized with the addition of Lavendar we ALSO have 3 colors??????

Hope everyone is having a great diet day!

Rainbowmyst

Angel26519 · 09-08-2003, 09:59 PM

Hello Everyone!!!!

Rainbow - We have three colors and then the rainbow... how great is that?????

Your post today was so deep and great.... it is wonderful having people on the board that makes you think......

I think my body image started at a very young age and was definetly created by others.... with my background of sexual abuse started at the age of 4...... I was told at the age of 4 you were supposed to be sexy...... how sick is that????? For a long time I thought I was only worth as much as I look good... so I still have issues of feeling worthless because of the weight.... by not looking sexy and pretty I am invisible....

Then I have a mother that has such wonderful compliments to me like "I am sure there is some nice man out there that likes smart chubby girls"..... now wouldnt that just make you feel great!!!!

I know this is not a realistic image.... and in my right mind i know this.... but in that other mind it is still there.... I am trying to work on this and one day I wont be this way....

Anyway- I hope everyone is having a great day!!!!

losinginillinois · 09-09-2003, 02:59 PM

Hello Ladies!

Well once again I have to be quick. I have to shower before I go to work. Imagine that!

I am suriving one day at a time. Since Sat I have made my daily trip to the grocery and to Menards. Our siding job has now become a window job. Most of them were rottened out and just old. So we decided while help was here we better do it. We also have to drywall on the inside and of course fix the paint where the windows were. Its become much more then I imagined. So I probably will not be around much for the next couple of weeks.

I am glad to see everyone else here though and keep posting!

Angel as far as the lady goes who ripped us off. My dh and I had to make a positive id yesterday and they said they would be charging her with fraud. But we will see. We start our small claims court proceedings on Sept 16. So we will see!

I guess I should tell you. I almost forgot. I gained, yes I said gained a .5 last week. I am not to worried. It was the first gain in 8 months and it was TOM. I suspect the closer I get to my goal I will gain during TOM. Because I was a couple of pounds lighter the next day. So hopefully come weigh in time this week I will be down!

See you soon!

Beth

Angel26519 · 09-09-2003, 04:24 PM

Hi Everyone!!!!

Beth dont worry about the gain... 1/2# is not much and it is probably is your time of the month......

As for me... I still havent done my weigh in since it was supposed to be saturday and I was out of town.... I may try to go tonight.... I just hate doing it in the evening because I weigh more then.....

Dr Phil's new book came out today and I have bought it.... it is supposed to be more about the psychological aspect of weigh gain/lose.... I relize that I need to not only focus on what I am doing as far as exercise and what I am eating but why.... all those ucky emotions.....

I hope all is well with everyone..... talk to you soon

rainbowmyst · 09-09-2003, 06:54 PM

Hi everyone!

This is going to be short because I am due at my daughter's school for her annual parent/teacher's night.

It's usually okay (a tad boring) but it's her last one -- she graduates at the end of the year. So I feel obligated to attend.

I am already made up and dressed -- just have to set my hair with the electric rollers and head out the door.

Other than that -- it's been another typical diet day. I must admit that I am having a little difficulty for some odd reason. I keep thinking about food. Oh well, I brought this on myself with all the fast-food I consumed during my depressive period. Everything has a "price" it seems and I am paying for my lack of foresight now. *sigh*

Only 70 more days to go on the fast. I'll make it -- though it's so annoying at times.

Rainbowmyst

redballoon · 09-09-2003, 09:56 PM

Angel26, It sounds like you've been doing an awful lot of work. The amount is just incredible. How are feeling now! I hope not so exhausted. Thanks so much for the kind words. They did a lot to help buoy my spirits yesterday, and I was feeling especially down yesterday. It's not just the financial woes, but other worries, disappointments, frustrations as well. But I know things won't get better unless I start feeling better. Well, your message did make me feel better and things did look a whole lot better yesterday after that. Thanks so much. I did go to the gym but I was too tired by then to have any energy to unleash my frustrations with. Actually, in the morning I had gone riding and I was able to channel my frustrations (a big worry is that I may have to give up my horse because of a lack of money) and I was able to have a very good ride for the second time in a row. My teacher said it was the best work I've done so far. My mare is very difficult to ride. It takes so much concentration and strength (I ride dressage) but I reached down deep and did it! It made me start thinking, I just have to find a way to stay with her, at least until I leave Japan. I love this mare and she is a handful but I've learned so much from her. I'm sorry to hear about your problems. Are you raising your child (children?) on your own now?

Angel, I'm so sorry to hear you suffered abuse as a child. I just finished reading another of Torey Hayden's books, this one "Beautiful Child." Do you know her books? She's a teacher of children with learning disabilities and so and this latest book was about a child who was abused, not sexually though. I have read all her books, each one about a different student of hers. It's so sad to know how people, children and really people of all ages suffer at the hands of others. I have always been a fighter, tough and stubborn and I think this was my saving. I got quite a few knocks as a kid but nothing bad. I just wish I could use my strength to help others but so much is done behind closed doors and nothing is or can be done to help.

Physical abuse is obvious but emotional and psychological abuse like the criticisms and comments you experienced do so much harm, don't they? All I can hope I guess is that people have the strength later in their lives to right those wrongs.

How is Dr. Phil's book? have you gotten anywhere in it yet? I have read some of his other books but, from what I remember, he didn't really speak to me like he apparently does to others. Maybe it was the time I read him though. I found him a little too in-your-face. This is the way I normally am with myself, very tough, when what I really need is to be gentler with myself. Perhaps this is why I love this thread more and more. The people here seem very warm, caring and gentle. No wonder we have three angels, three colors and our rainbow!

rainbow, I'm so glad you're back and swimming in our midst again. I don't think you sound like a formerly beached whale, more like a great white shark! Somebody who means business!

Hurrah for you and your nearing the 170s. You are sure to pass that milestone soon. Well, I do find that pretty unusual that you remember weights and dates so well. I never weigh myself, well, rarely. I KNOW all too well when I'm putting on weight or losing it (this is unfortunately something I don't experience often

) But I know a lot of people are really hooked to the scale. I think that perhaps having lived abroad for so long and thus having been in metric all the time helped break my fixation on numbers because I think I used to have one too. Kilos, pounds, fahrenheit, celsius, once you have different ways of saying the same thing I think it loses a lot of its significance, words, numbers. It becomes more like, oh, yeah, whatever. How about I send you a kilogram scale?!

So, wow, I hadn't realized, or had forgotten that you have lost 80 pounds from your top weight. That is an awesome feat, rainbow and I hope you're very, very proud of yourself.

I found your post very interesting. Your questions about body image had me thinking and I think I finally realized something rather strange about myself. Oh, no, not something else!?! You talk about coming to terms with who you are and having felt defined by others' opinions of you. I can well understand that. I think that is the normal way and why so many people suffer. I, on the other hand, perhaps because I was always very stubborn and probably more than a little bit "out there" am the opposite. I always had a very, very strong sense of who I was and it had nothing to do with how thin or fat I was and I was both and I got the same kind of jeers and ridicule as most overweight people get. The weird things is is that it never fazed me and I realize now is that that is because I never felt any different no matter what I weighed or how much muscle I had. What did bother me was that I always felt misunderstood. Even now, I am quite strong because I weight train and people (Japanese are awful for this) see me apparently as "scary" but I am the most peaceful, amicable person around. I could probably do major damage if I were to hit someone but I have never in my life hit someone (well, not since I was a kid and had to fight back at my brother!) so I am amazed that they feel this way about me. But I'm finally realizing, that YES, image, the visual forms peoples' opinions. It just didn't form mine about myself. And that's why I said I'm "out there." I think this is just something I'll have to accept though because I do love being muscular so I'm not going to lose my muscle just so people realize what a gentle flower I am.

Again, though, your question, do we "feel our minds were 'warped' by other people's opinions?" I'd have to say no, but then yes, because the misunderstandings did bother me. I felt and probably still feel somewhat that it is MY problem when really it's their problem, isn't it?

losinginillinois, hello. yes, definitely don't worry about any little half pound gain. It's nothing for sure and you'll be hitting your goal weight soon enough. You were almost there, right?

Angel26519 · 09-10-2003, 12:50 PM

Hello Everyone!!!!

Well I weighed in today and am down 1# YEAH!!!!! I was very glad - I guess all that painting worked!!!! Maybe I should do that every weekend.... NOT!!!!!

Red- I notcied you posted on Dr Phil's board and replied over there.... I know that sometimes his in your face mode is hard to take and it isnt something I think I could handle all the time.... but I do think that at times I need that.... I have only read a little in his book so far but alot of it is common sense stuff that when I read it its like "Now why didnt I think of that?"

I am glad that I helped you.... that is what we are all here for....

Beth- How is the house going???? I hope you are keeping all those guys in line......

Orange, Pye, Lavender, Sandy- How are you doing?????

Rainbow- I know the fasting must be hard at times... I know I couldnt do it.... keep up the good work.....

Angels - How are you guys doing??

rainbowmyst · 09-10-2003, 09:26 PM

Hi Everyone...

Today is going to be very short. I "crashed and burned" on my fast today. I don't necessarily think it was my fault. Someone I considered a friend said something very hateful to me today (this person is generally known for tactlessness). When I pointed out that this was a rude comment and that I felt hurt, instead of apologizing, the person proceeded to attempt to "justify" the comment. I lost it and went ballistic. I fear I've been overlooking abusive behavior from this quarter for a long time -- and today, all of my resentment bubbled to the surface due to this remark. I said everything I've been longing to say for the past two years.

Nevertheless, this confrontation led to an eating binge consisting of: a grilled chicken sandwich, a small order of fries, several hunks of cheddar cheese, and a ham sandwich (this was spread out from approximately 2pm until nightfall).

Because of this, I have decided this is one "friend" I can do without. I don't want to go into what was said -- but it was very destructive and totally untrue. I am trying to improve the quality of my life and I don't need people around who are attempting to "bring me down".

I've spent enough time feeling sorry for myself today (as evidenced by the food frenzy) -- so tomorrow it's back on the fast. Setbacks occasionally occur to everyone -- so I am trying to view this as a temporary lapse in judgment.

Sorry for dumping this depressive episode on you....hope everyone else had a better day in general than I did and that your programs went well.

Rainbowmyst

Angel26519 · 09-11-2003, 09:20 AM

Rainbow- Even though you went on what you called an "Eating Binge" it does look like you were grabbing stuff that was pretty good for you other than the fries but that was even a small so I say you did pretty darn good..... when I binge I am grabbing the cookies, cakes, and icecream..... so I think you deserve a "WAY TO GO"......

I am sorry that your "friend" wasnt there for you and was ugly to you.... You know sometimes there are people around you that dont want you to change because then they think they need to change.... or they are jealous of your success.... it doesnt give them any excuse to be mean..... I think it is good that you got all that bottled up anger out it will help you in the long run....

I wish you luck in all of this... I have been there myself before.....

And now get back on the wagon.... we slowed the horses down for you to jump on!

rainbowmyst · 09-11-2003, 10:56 AM

Thanks Angel!

I just got home from doing some "damage control" to compensate for yesterday's binge. I am trying not to be too neurotic -- but I don't want to get into the habit of breaking the fast and "getting away with it" -- so I extracted a bit of a penalty from myself this morning. Hopefully, it will discourage further binges due to emotional upset.

First I sat down and did some calculations. Since I skipped three packages and ate real food yesterday -- I can deduct 240 calories of the "binge" as being calories I would have consumed in the packages anyway. So by my calculations that would cancel out the "ham sandwich" which was on that low calorie bread anyway.

That left me with the cheese, chicken and fries to be compensated for. Although I wasn't planning on exercising until I dropped another 40 lbs. -- I decided to spend three days this week walking in the gym for a half hour. That should burn off about half of the binge calories. I'll do three days next week and that should cancel out the rest. Since I am really too plump to exercise comfortably -- that ought to teach me NOT to "chow down" when someone treats me badly.

It was really weird walking on the track today. I've noticed that it is MUCH EASIER than it was the last time I attempted to exercise (around 210 lbs.) So if nothing else, I've confirmed that I was probably wise to wait awhile (and should wait a tad longer after I finish adjusting for this binge). However, my "wind" stayed with me longer and I probably made it more times around that 1/8 mile track than I did last time I tried at 210 lbs. I'm going to guess I did about 8 to 10 times. I set a time limit of 30 minutes and just walked.

I'm guessing that when I get down a more reasonable weight my feet will take it better. With bad arches, they bothered me a little at my present weight (181 lbs.) but nowhere as bad as they did on my last experimental exercise walk. Still, I've made the commitment to do this five more times to make up for the binge.
Then I'll table the exercise until I drop about 40 more lbs.

It sounds nuts I know -- and if my feet weren't so miserable I probably would keep exercising. But I did notice stress in my arches -- so my guts tell me to finish up this damage control and go on hiatus until I reach a lower weight.

Thanks for the support. I did try to choose binge foods carefully (except for the fries -- but my daughter wanted to go to Bueno Beef right behind her school). That wasn't the wisest thing for me to agree to knowing the emotional state I was in at the time.

I am "okay" today. I've taken my first package and am back on track.

Rainbowmyst