people are outrageous!!!!! Body shamed no matter what size you are. Tell them to mind their business. They don't know if you are healthfully losing, or God forbid, have a cancer, thyroid issue, are going through a personal stresser that has caused some weight loss, or have an eating disorder. Its all very rude. I mean, even if their concern was that of an eating disorder, when did telling an anorexic person to eat a sandwich ever make them think, "oh right, that is what I was doing wrong..." If they were truly concerned about your wellbeing, one would have pulled you to the side and confronted you from a place of good intention saying, "hey I've noticed that you lost a lot of weight and that's great but its still coming off and I am just wondering if everything is ok?" trying to humiliate you in your office space is not something somebody that has your well being at heart does so next time they say something, very sternly shoot them the EVILEST of eyes and say, "I don't remember asking your opinion."
Some people just don't know when to shut up. I am a big girl and see no difference from what you're going through than if someone told me that I needed to lose weight. It's drawing unwanted attention to you that you don't want and it isn't welcomed. These people think everything is their business and that your business is theirs. I am not surprised that she ISN'T a close friend of yours. I am glad to hear that you stood up for yourself and said something. If you can, try and let it go. If she says anything else just completely ignore her. If she doesn't get the message then go to HR. I mean it sucks to have to go that far but if you're feeling like your personal life is being put on display for the whole office to hear, which is embarrassing then yes, you should nip it in the bud and take it to HR and have them deal with her.
Last edited by JenDestiny; 06-10-2015 at 11:54 PM.
Telly986, you put them in their place and handled it very well. I wish I had the guts to be as direct as you were!
After what you did, I don't think they'll be making anymore comments. If anyone does, I suggest you just tell them that your appearance/weight is not up for discussion and if you want someone's opinion, you'll ask for it.
In my life, it's usually my mom who seems to panic every time I'm losing weight. I just tell her that according to my doctor, I'm doing very well. I feel like people who are "old school" like to hear from an authority and by telling her this, I feel it calms her down about it. I"ve also told her that I have an eating disorder (food addiction/binge eating) and that her comments only make it worse. It doesn't stop her completely, but at least I know she's coming from a well-meaning place.
Anyway, I really admire how you tried to be tolerant and that you stood up for yourself. Congrats on all your success!
Tell her point blank to mind her effing business and report her to HR. People can't get away with harassing someone that is overweight so it works both ways.
The first day I met a newer co-worker she had asked me if I even eat. I'm a size 6, not 0. She's very overweight so maybe I appear too skinny in her eyes but I didn't even know her more than 10 minutes. I just said yes I eat all the time and walked away. Jealous women are rude and catty.
Your weight loss is really making her uncomfortable which, of course, is irrational, and that is her problem that is she making yours with the constant comments. I'm really sorry about that. My workplace is somewhat smallish, so we are all familiar with each other, so my weight loss was commented on NON STOP in almost EVERY CONVERSATION I ever had with a co-worker for a year and a half. Most were supportive comments, but even so, geez, I just wanted to go about my workday and get my work done like every other person there without getting remarks on my body multiple times per shift.
I handled the negative ones as best as I could. I would mention my actual weight in lbs (I got down to approx 190 lbs,) alluding to how happy I was that I was just then no longer Obese and only Overweight. I would say how happy I was that I could just fit into the largest size in the Misses department, and how excited I was to have a larger selection of clothes. I would tell them that an older looking face was a trade off I happily made to get rid of borderline high blood pressure. Logic didn't work with that ilk; they felt I was dangerously underweight which made no medical sense, lol.
The most effective way I ever dealt with it was to ask them for advice on any good recipes or healthy living or ask them about workout suggestions, etc. No idea why the latter worked, but they loved talking to me about some cockamamie diet they have tried, or some vitamin that they felt was really important, or some muscle group that was the key to fitness. In my case, I had and still have to work with these people every day, and some are my friends anyway, so I chose to redirect the conversation, etc.
Good luck, and I really hope this woman realizes her rude commentary is unwelcome.
