[Candidcamster]

I have to say, in this part of the world (USA) the desire to be fat is not comparable to the desire to be thin, and probably won't be in our lifetime. I've heard of and seen thin shaming, but I've never known someone to become obese to escape thin shaming, sorry these are not the same thing. It is wrong to tear someone down period, however us likening the 2 is silly. It is like if I make fun of someone for being rich (because being thin is to a certain degree an asset in this society) I don't think that person is going to obsessively spend their money out of rich-shame. Most thin shaming that I have observed is coming from a place of envy or an attempt to knock the person down a peg (like insulting a beautiful woman, even though being thin doesn't equal being beautiful just as being fat doesn't equal being ugly) which again is wrong. However there is a true disgust with obesity so much so that it drives non-fat people to see being fat as one of the grossest things they could be anorexia/bulimia. Nicole Richie (sp?) suffered from an eating disorder years ago, and her career skyrocketed, even though there was thin-shaming there was also celebrating and rewarding her on being as thin as she possibly could be. Celebrating fat bodies along with thin bodies isn't going to make teenage girls en masse stuff themselves to death to have excess adipose on their bodies. Everyone posting here knows that thin is the standard of beauty, in general? Right? Cindy, Claudia, Naomi, Tyra (I'm showing my age I know lol) but I don't know any fat supermodels. When fat people get beauty recognition it is like we're being thrown a bone but we will always be on the outside looking in, or as Kathy Griffin calls it "The D-list" lol.

I say all that to say, I hated myself for being fat, and I am sure someone reading this can relate, I didn't want to go places, or do things because of my obesity, and people's reactions to it, and much of that was internal not other people (though I have dealt with some hatefulness from others as well, we're our own biggest critic). I feel there are chunks of my life that I threw away because of fat-shaming, there are large people that won't even leave their homes due to ridicule, won't go shopping due to ridicule. I read this post from a girl who I believe was also 300+ lbs. as I once was saying she had a stranger walk up to her and say they would pray for her due to her obesity. Many of us aren't here for our health, it wasn't a health scare or preventative medicine that made us lose weight. It was feeling less than because we're more of what we're told we should be physically. I personally did start my journey for health reasons and that is the main thing that has kept me going and will continue to keep me going, but I am not going to pretend there isn't severe discrimination against people of size that I am in the process of alleviating by losing weight.

[dimmers]

Furthermore it's nobody's business what someone eats. There's a whole entire nation called Italy that eats pasta meals, who are you to make a pasta meal and a diet coke sound like it's a criminal act?

I was mealy pointing out that from the FA articles many mention they eat healthy. But out of personal interest I check out their FB (because if you have seen my other posts my fiancée is trying to lose weight and she eats very healthy and exercises every day, but we believe its due to a medical issue) and we are trying to find a link as in 5 months of being strict with herself she has lost 1 kilo.

But when you see people who claim to be healthy but are not I get annoyed. That being said if you are happy with your body (whatever shape it may be in) then that's fine. For example if you take the far end of the spectrum - Susanne Eman (AKA the worlds fattest bride http://susanneeman.com/ ) is happy with her weight (I believe she's doing it for attention and getting paid for it... but that's a personal opinion). So in this case Susan is happy with who she is and that's fine but in her specific case I believe she is promoting an unhealthy image.

Then lets go to the other end of the spectrum -a trending topic on FB today was Tara Reid http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz...ach-Miami.html - She is super thin BUT looks exceptionally unhealthy in my opinion.

So I believe one should be happy with their weight/personal image but I am a strong believer in balance.I am not for attacking overweight people (which lets be honest the majority of us are here to shed / maintain weight) just gauging peoples view on FA/Body Image.

I do agree with other people that it should not be called Fat Acceptance but rather Body, Image Acceptance and so on.

[MauiKai]

Originally Posted by Candidcamster

I have to say, in this part of the world (USA) the desire to be fat is not comparable to the desire to be thin, and probably won't be in our lifetime. I've heard of and seen thin shaming, but I've never known someone to become obese to escape thin shaming, sorry these are not the same thing. It is wrong to tear someone down period, however us likening the 2 is silly. It is like if I make fun of someone for being rich (because being thin is to a certain degree an asset in this society) I don't think that person is going to obsessively spend their money out of rich-shame. Most thin shaming that I have observed is coming from a place of envy or an attempt to knock the person down a peg (like insulting a beautiful woman, even though being thin doesn't equal being beautiful just as being fat doesn't equal being ugly) which again is wrong. However there is a true disgust with obesity so much so that it drives non-fat people to see being fat as one of the grossest things they could be anorexia/bulimia. Nicole Richie (sp?) suffered from an eating disorder years ago, and her career skyrocketed, even though there was thin-shaming there was also celebrating and rewarding her on being as thin as she possibly could be. Celebrating fat bodies along with thin bodies isn't going to make teenage girls en masse stuff themselves to death to have excess adipose on their bodies. Everyone posting here knows that thin is the standard of beauty, in general? Right? Cindy, Claudia, Naomi, Tyra (I'm showing my age I know lol) but I don't know any fat supermodels. When fat people get beauty recognition it is like we're being thrown a bone but we will always be on the outside looking in, or as Kathy Griffin calls it "The D-list" lol.

I say all that to say, I hated myself for being fat, and I am sure someone reading this can relate, I didn't want to go places, or do things because of my obesity, and people's reactions to it, and much of that was internal not other people (though I have dealt with some hatefulness from others as well, we're our own biggest critic). I feel there are chunks of my life that I threw away because of fat-shaming, there are large people that won't even leave their homes due to ridicule, won't go shopping due to ridicule. I read this post from a girl who I believe was also 300+ lbs. as I once was saying she had a stranger walk up to her and say they would pray for her due to her obesity. Many of us aren't here for our health, it wasn't a health scare or preventative medicine that made us lose weight. It was feeling less than because we're more of what we're told we should be physically. I personally did start my journey for health reasons and that is the main thing that has kept me going and will continue to keep me going, but I am not going to pretend there isn't severe discrimination against people of size that I am in the process of alleviating by losing weight.

I agree with you in theory, being fat (in the US) is reviled on a level that is hard to even understand at times. Any while being too thin is not treated with the same level of contempt, it IS hard on people. I had a good friend (had, she passed away) who was always desperately thin. She had CF and could not help it. People picked at her relentlessly, "Why don't you eat more" "You're so thin! Yuck I can see your ribs!" "You know, thin isn't pretty when it's this thin" "Men don't like women who look like sticks you know" "Hey look at that girl, I bet she's anorexic." It hurt her. She was body shamed over a body she couldn't help one bit.

So I don't think it's fair to say being fat shamed is worse than being thin shamed, but they are "different" on some level. It's all hate though, and all of it is wrong.

But here is another truth that I've noticed: It doesn't matter what you are, something is "wrong" with you in the eyes of crappy people. You could be tall and thin and big breasted and tiny waisted and people would say you had a big nose, or ugly hair cut, or are too pale. The kind of people who fat shame are the kind of people who will find something wrong in EVERYONE. They're just small, petty people.

[Palestrina]

Originally Posted by dimmers

But when you see people who claim to be healthy but are not I get annoyed.

Why? What does it matter how other people think of themselves? Why must you approve of their health? "Health" is complex, it's not based only on what you eat. It involves your genetic history, your psychological well being, your fitness and activity, your stress levels, your relationship with food, and many other factors I'm probably forgetting. There are also many ways to eat that can support one's health so again I say, pointing out that someone is eating pasta and a diet coke is not a good indication of their health. You're only being judgmental.

[dimmers]

Originally Posted by Palestrina

Why? What does it matter how other people think of themselves? Why must you approve of their health? "Health" is complex, it's not based only on what you eat. It involves your genetic history, your psychological well being, your fitness and activity, your stress levels, your relationship with food, and many other factors I'm probably forgetting. There are also many ways to eat that can support one's health so again I say, pointing out that someone is eating pasta and a diet coke is not a good indication of their health. You're only being judgemental.

I am a big believer that if you say you are going/are doing to do something then my expectation is your word is the truth. While we are all human and no one is perfect don't tell me one thing then then do another. The truth is we are all judgemental and if you tell me X but do Y, you loose credibility.

While many of us can not be on our diets/goals 100% of the time I am pretty strict on myself and like many people this weekend they will break their diets (including myself) with Easter festivities. I unfortunately have a double wammy where I am Greek Orthodox and I have Easter next weekend but my fiancée is Catholic and her Easter is this weekend so 2 Easter lunches for me (I feel for yummy food and >_< for my diet).

If the person wrote "look I am happy where I am at I eat junk food and that's me" then that's fine. I am saying that on more than one occasion I have seen people say "I am healthy and I still eat junk food often" then that's a bit hypocritical.

[shcirerf]

[QUOTE=
Furthermore it's nobody's business what someone eats. There's a whole entire nation called Italy that eats pasta meals, who are you to make a pasta meal and a diet coke sound like it's a criminal act?[/QUOTE]

Actually, due to changes in health insurance, in America, what I eat, what you eat, your activity level, is, sadly now kind of my business!

As a member of a group, employer health insurance covered. The unhealthier the group, the more money comes out of my paycheck!

It is a mess. *rolls eyes* No offense intended!

[shcirerf]

Honestly, there is nothing wrong, with accepting the body you have. Big shoulders, thick thighs, droopy boobies, short eye lashes, weird broken, crooked toes. ( the horse stepped on mine).

I have all of the above! But at some point in time, we need to quit making excuses.

Obesity, long term, and chronic, is not funny.

My mother, has been long term, morbidly obese. A gall bladder surgery, emergency status, then, 9 weeks later, 3 heart stints, diabetes, cellulitis, her eyesight is now awful! She has dizzy spells, falls!

I do understand, that old age, bites! And some of these things, may happen anyway, but, if Mom would have been just a little more careful about her health, my sisters and I would not be so paranoid, when we call her and she does not answer her phone.

That is the personal side of this equation.

On the health insurance side? Since Obama care, thankfully, we have employer coverage. However, the health of the group, affects, the premium we pay. It is a small group, and I know most of them. Sadly, a few, who are suffering, way to young from the affects of obesity, are affecting the bottom line of what our health insurance is costing, those of us that are trying to live better.

It is ok, to accept certain body faults. Like big feet, gramma gave you her nose, a receding hair line, I got a pot belly! Thanks genes! I'm good with all of this, but it does not excuse me from being the BEST I can be!

[df180]

Body positivity is important, I think people have the right to be happy and love their bodies, but there's a point where you're physically harming yourself. It's hard to see morbidly obese people claim they love their bodies! Cause even if they do it's a very unhealthy lifestyle and honestly... I don't see how anyone could be happy being that heavy?

[Palestrina]

Originally Posted by shcirerf

Actually, due to changes in health insurance, in America, what I eat, what you eat, your activity level, is, sadly now kind of my business!

As a member of a group, employer health insurance covered. The unhealthier the group, the more money comes out of my paycheck!

It is a mess. *rolls eyes* No offense intended!

Uhm, no. If we're going to go down this route of logic then we cannot limit it just to food. Do you drink alcohol? Because I do not. And therefore if you drink alcohol it affects my insurance. Same goes for smoking, dangerous occupations/activities such as skydiving, if you live in Arizona you have a higher risk of getting skin cancer than I do and that affects my insurance as well.

When we talk about our health insurance being affected then we have to affect change on a social level, you cannot attack a person. Want to put your energies in something effective, go deal with the school lunch program to make sure kids are consistently being fed proper nutrition for the 13yrs they are in grade school. Go tackle the corn lobby in DC that is so powerful and responsible for the permeating effects of HFCS. Go attack your supermarket and ask how them how dare they provide one entire aisle full of potato chips! But do not attack the individual for eating pasta. I mean seriously you tell people that their crappy diet is causing your insurance rates to go up?

[sunarie]

Originally Posted by df180

Body positivity is important, I think people have the right to be happy and love their bodies, but there's a point where you're physically harming yourself. It's hard to see morbidly obese people claim they love their bodies! Cause even if they do it's a very unhealthy lifestyle and honestly... I don't see how anyone could be happy being that heavy?

You can love yourself, and your body, and still want to be healthy and improve upon yourself, especially how you treat yourself. I'm sorry, but I have major issues with anyone who says, or promotes the idea, that obese people shouldn't be happy. That type of thinking is literally what caused me to lose contact with some of my best friends for nearly a decade. I was fat, I didn't want them to see me like that because I didn't deserve to be happy. I shouldn't be fine with going out and spending time with them because I should be staying in and losing weight. That thought process is extremely damaging, and in much more than a social way.

When I started on these forums, I was morbidly obese. Now I'm just barely out of that range. The only reason I've even been able to do that, and stick with it even though weight comes off slow is because I've learned to accept who I am and love myself. I had to be okay with my weight and body first because overnight changes do not happen. I'm going to look the way I do for many months to come. Hating myself just drives to binge eating and deeper depression, which tends to lead to a lack of exercise. Loving myself makes me want to care for my body and do something about being unhealthy. Why on earth would I wait to love myself until after I've lost the weight? Why should I be unhappy?

I will also say that on social media I've posted when I went out with friends. I posted that I did Red Lobster for my birthday. I post when we go out on the weekends. I post lots of unhealthy stuff I eat. In fact, there's probably at least one day each week in which I eat unhealthy, so I would probably say I eat "junk" fairly often. If you were to judge me based on what I show the world in social media, you would probably say I don't eat healthy.. even though I'm completely on plan for over 90% of my meals, and my "social" day of the week isn't in such large portions that it undos the rest of my progress. In fact, my social day is factored into my points so that I'm not going over my weeklies, seeing as I do WW. I also have pasta during the week, which is full of spinach with the way I make it, and under points. Pasta alone is not an unhealthy choice.

[Palestrina]

Originally Posted by df180

It's hard to see morbidly obese people claim they love their bodies! Cause even if they do it's a very unhealthy lifestyle and honestly... I don't see how anyone could be happy being that heavy?

I may vomit.

[MauiKai]

Originally Posted by df180

I don't see how anyone could be happy being that heavy?

There is more to life than size. Being fat doesn't limit your ability to love your family and friends, and enjoy living your life. It's one small component of a human being. Weight is not the be all end all of a person.

[Streudel]

In my view, the only way to have the desire to take care of your body is to love it the way it is right now. How can you be expected to put loving care into something you hate?

I found a pin on Pinterest that sums it up for me. It says only loving your body when you're thin is like only loving your kids when they're well behaved.

If as a society, we eliminated obesity, alcoholism, smoking, and found a way to genetically eliminate most diseases, I feel completely confident in saying that insurance companies would still find a way to raise premiums and blame it on everything but their all consuming greed and desire to be compensated well beyond the value of the service they provide.

Obesity is not a moral failing or a character flaw. Neither is being a smoker or a drug addict. Yes, it is in your best interest to deal with these issues if you have them, but no, I don't think anyone else has the right to judge you for it. Certainly, it isn't helpful. This society is openly discriminatory of obese people and yet obesity is steadily rising. If shaming was the answer, America would be the thinnest place on Earth.

I applaud anyone who is able to find love and acceptance of themselves. This is someone who is likely to love and accept others as they are as well. And that is something this world could use a lot more of.

[JayZeeJay]

Approximately 30% of ALL health-care costs are accrued in the last year of a person's life. This has nothing to do with obesity or other co-morbid factors; the statistics are the same. Everyone dies. And most people do it "badly", if we are going to define that as creating excess medical costs that must be covered by our population as a whole. Rather than having a single massive stroke or heart attack, people drag out their deaths and make an expensive mess of it. Should we punish them for that? Euthanize everyone once their medical expenses hit a certain cap? Perhaps we should reward those whose lifestyles make a sudden death more probable.

[mandalinn82]

Perhaps we should reward those whose lifestyles make a sudden death more probable.

In that case, the lowest rates and highest rewards should go to those of low-normal BMI range who don't regularly exercise, since they're more likely to die than anyone else.