I am really having a rough time keeping it together this time around.
About 3-4 years ago, I lost 60lbs, it took 10 months but I was dedicated and kept the faith.
Well, during the last year I have gained about 30 of those pounds back. I am once again, trying to lose it but I cannot keep it together. I can string one or two good days together, maybe even a week, and then I fall off the wagon and stay off track for a week or more, long enough to regain the small losses I see and more.
In November I started exercising again, 3 days a week of a boot camp type class and then I try to exercise on my own at least once a week.
I know what I need to do, its the consistent doing it that I am not doing and I do not know why. I want the weight gone so bad that I can taste it, that every time I step on the scale and see a gain I cry and am disgusted with myself all over again.
I can't even say what I am asking you all for. Continued support, no shunning because I can't seem to get it together, a kick in the pants, a word of support??
Maybe I just needed to get it out. I do not know but I do know I am so disappointed in myself.
NEmom (full disclosure, I'm a transplanted born and raised Nebraskan to California!)
Wow, I know exactly what you're talking about! My timeline for weight loss and regain is almost identical to yours. I often think back to the last time I was successful and this may seem like an odd thing to say, but it was almost easy to lose weight. For several reasons my life was at the optimal place for me to lose weight. My head was also in the right place. I woke up every day wanting to do this--exercise, drink my water, eat cleanly, etc. In the years since a lot has happened. I was promoted (good thing) but now have a small staff who I supervise, I went through a bad breakup, and within the last month lost my beloved father. I'm not sleeping well. Some days are better than others but I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't tired most of the time.
Like you, I want the weight off so badly, but can't seem to muster the ongoing desire or will to do the things I know I should be doing on a consistent basis. I know that no one else can do this for me/us and I know from experience consistency and small successes create their own motivation.
I wish I could tell you what helps me or works, but I don't really have an answer. For me, maybe separating this go around with last time and realizing that it will be different, and to stop resenting the fact that it was "easy" the last time. Also, that this will be a life long endeavor. Progress forward, regardless of how incremental, is STILL progress. Finally, recognizing that every day we wake is a blessing and an opportunity to try again.
You'll get no shunning from me, missy! Really, who among us 3FCers hasn't sailed on this particular ship? What you will get is ongoing support and a fellow Nebraska on your sideline! Feel free to PM if you'd like. Strength in numbers sister In the meantime, stop beating yourself up! Your self-worth, character, and identity is NOT the scale number. I seem to remember that you came to a lot of realizations about yourself this past year and one of them was still loving the man you married and recommitting to your marriage. That speaks volumes about you and who you are. This weight stuff, yes, yes, important to longevity and health, but a mere blip compared to saving a marriage and other life things.
BTW, yes it is extremely good to get it out! Lots of outstanding support to be found here!
Last edited by curvynotlumpy; 03-02-2015 at 02:48 PM.
Have you tried researching healthy new recipes? Any chance you're being too restrictive in your food choices?
One thing I'm doing differently this time is making sure everything I eat is something I enjoy and can stick with. For instance, I like chicken but I'm not a huge fan of white meat. So I found a few recipes I really enjoy that use chicken in a way where it doesn't really matter if it's white meat since it's just one of many ingredients. But if I'm just roasting chicken, I go ahead and have the leg quarter I really want. Is it as healthy as the breast? No, but if I'm so sick of eating that darn white meat that I stop and grab fast food instead, it didn't do me much good. The same goes for salads. I was trying to eat spring mix and romaine because it was healthier, but I was finding that I was dreading having to choke down another salad. Now if I feel like Bibb lettuce, that's what I eat.
I've also found that cooking ahead on the weekends makes it easier to just walk in and grab a meal after work. I'm not constantly thinking about food and what I'm going to have because it's already planned out. That gives me less opportunities to make bad choices, especially if I'm overly hungry or had a bad day.
I also find it motivational to look at people's before and after photos on this site. I hope you're able to find something that works for you.
I know how hard it is to be unhappy with the weight you've gained, and it's so easy for weight gain to sneak up on us! I think it's GREAT you're back at it. And even though I understand it feels frustrating and hopeless right now, please believe me when I say it's possible to get back to where you want to be!
You said you gained 30 lbs in one year. What happened in that 4th year compared to the first 3 years that caused the weight gain? Maybe that's a place to start.
In the meantime, how about eating healthy and working out without the goal of losing weight? Would alleviating some of the pressure help ease into healthy habits?
Last edited by belovedspirit; 03-04-2015 at 02:12 AM.
I think you might be overwhelmed by all the rules to lose the weight. Same thing happened to me last year. I got down to 193. Not incredible. I still had over 30 # to go. I just stopped caring. So then I regained all the weight and then some.
This time, I said "ok, I'm not gonna go all crazy, it doesn't work, so for a month I just focused on dropping soda water and green tea only.and a couple weeks in, no more fast food.
The a few weeks later, ok I need to incorporate veggies into my home made meals. At that point I had to start meal prepping.
Then when I was ready I started adding the gym. Yeah it took me 3 months to lose 15# but it wasn't overwhelming. It will probably take me another 7 months to meet my goal, but it's a minder approach to myself.
Sounds like you are being to tough on yourself. Give yourself a break on the emotions. Find a weight loss strategy that you can stick with. You will get there. You have done it before and you can do it again!
I find that sometimes what worked in the past doesn't work now. Calorie counting was working fine for me for more than 3 years, but now it isn't. I began playing head games----eating w/out recording, pigging out if I had "leftover" calories, etc. I'm trying something else now (the NoS diet, but with the tweaks of eating just 2 meals a day and having at least one floating free day). So far, it has been working out well.
My point is that sometimes we need to re-evaluate our lives and try something completely different. Just because we were successful with a strategy in the past doesn't mean that that same strategy will work in the present.
I agree with another poster, don't be so tough on yourself. I think that you know you have done it once before so you are being hard on yourself because you don't feel as dedicated. REmember everything changes, situations change. You just have to make it work for your situation now, not back then. You are obviously a strong woman who has done it once and can do it again. Maybe your plan needs to be tweaked a little? I have found this works best for me and I know everyone is different but try and take it one day at a time. Don't think about where you should be a month from now or even a week from now. One day at a time. Every little bit helps. Concentrate on the day at hand and do the best that you can. Believe it or not every little bit helps.
You can do this.
I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. Is there a chance you could get your Husband to join you? Not just in eating better, but in walking, biking or some other form of exercise? It might help you both feel more accountable. ♥
I know several others mentioned this, but it really does help to make small changes at first and adding new small changes when you're ready. Like cutting down on sodas or another food that you might overeat. Something that has really helped me this time around is not completely avoiding foods I love. Such as bread, pizza, a favorite candy bar, etc. If I want it really bad I have it. Otherwise the wanting grows out of control and causes me to have mini binges on junk food. I have the food I'm craving and then the want is gone.
There are so many wonderfully supportive people here. You are not alone. ♥
Rough Time
NEmom (full disclosure, I'm a transplanted born and raised Nebraskan to California!)
In the meantime, stop beating yourself up! Your self-worth, character, and identity is NOT the scale number. I seem to remember that you came to a lot of realizations about yourself this past year and one of them was still loving the man you married and recommitting to your marriage. That speaks volumes about you and who you are. This weight stuff, yes, yes, important to longevity and health, but a mere blip compared to saving a marriage and other life things.
