[lovewinterxbx]

Hey everyone, I am from UK and I am a new member. i joined as for last couple of months i want to start being on a diet and lose weight. I wanted to lose 15kg by Christmas but i dont seem to find a motivation. My boyfriend is really skinny and he wants to put on weight so he always wants to go and eat something nice or eat ice cream while watching movie.. and well i cant resist . I know i want to lose weight more than anything as i just feel bad with my body and i want to relatively soon be able to wear nice clothes and feel good in them. We have an anniversary on the 19 march and i wanted to buy myself a nice dress and just look good. i dont remember last time i wore a dress and felt good and comfortable in it. I really lack motivation. i look at everyone pics before and after and i feel so motivated but then i have no one to speak to when i feel like eating something that is why i was looking for forum that maybe can help. All my friends are quite skinny so they dont really understand as they have never been on a diet .... Is there anyone who is in a similar position and is also looking for people they can talk to when they are lacking motivation?

Best wishes everyone and thanks for reading

[luckymommy]

Welcome to 3fatchicks! There is great info and support on this site so I'm glad you found it.

Getting started can be so difficult, but once you get one day, then you can get another and before you know it, you're doing well for a week and so on.

There are many different opinions on how to get to a lower body fat but you will have to find what works for you through trial and error.

Personally, I find that having deadlines is too stressful and only makes me more likely to lose motivation. Focus on making healthy changes and let the weight take care of itself. I highly recommend taking before photos because the scale doesn't always give an accurate picture of what goes on due to water weight.

The way to lose weight: eat at a caloric deficit. Exercise is great for fitness but overall, the bulk of loss will have to do with diet.

I personally couldn't stick to anything until I cut out certain things from my diet. For me, that was sugar and flour. I have no more than two fruits per day. I don't drink any of my calories. I only drink water and one coffee in the morning sweetened with Stevia.

I do exercise because it helps me with my state of mind. I also have a husband who needs to lose weight (unlike your husband) but he eats very poorly and will often binge on junk food right in front of me. I just focus on what I'm doing. I tell myself that all that junk is just not for me.

There might be a lot of changes that need to be made. If you find that overwhelming, perhaps you can start with one change and make a new one every few days or once a week.

If you'd like, you can post what you eat on a typical day and we can help you make some changes that might not even be all that difficult to implement.

I wish you all the best. By the way, there's a subsection here for UK chicks.

[sunarie]

Welcome to 3FC!

Having someone in the house who doesn't need to lose, or who needs to gain, can be very difficult. My boyfriend is super skinny too, and while he isn't looking to actively gain weight, he definitely buys a lot of snacks. He has self control, he can eat five jelly beans out of a bag and then leave the rest of the bag. Sweets aren't a problem for him.

What's worked for us is that he both limits the sweets he buys to things I don't like, or am not prone to guzzle down, or he takes them to work with him. We've been doing that for about two months now, and I've refound a bit of my self control. He can leave some food out on the counter now and I won't take any. It still isn't constantly out though.

One other thing, why is your husband trying to gain weight? If it's to be healthy, then he probably needs to adjust his diet as well. Eating ice cream and all isn't going to put on healthy weight.. and even thin people get health problems if they live on a super unhealthy diet. Best thing to do is talk to him and see what sort of compromises you guys can come up with that meet both your health/weight goals.

Now, as far as losing the weight. I agree with luckymommy, I don't really like to set time goals. I am participating in some of the challenges here, and I will set a goal weight for the end of the month.. but it's also not something I adhere to, or get upset if I don't meet. I generally lose about 1lb a week, which is pretty slow compared to most folks, but I'm just happy to be getting healthier.

I'd recommend taking small steps at first. Little lifestyle changes that work for you. Small changes seemed to make things easier to organize and stick to for me. The first thing I changed was what I was eating, now I'm working on portion sizes and making sure I stick to exercise goals.

Take some time to figure what things do and don't work for you. A large part of weight loss is going to be a mental battle... and that battle is likely going to take a long time. Not every diet/lifestyle change works for every person, so find the one that fits you, and that you can stick to.

Best of luck, and welcome again!