I'm back again. I won't go into all the details, but suffice to say I lost 40 lbs after my son was born and I have gained - yet again - most of it back. I'm just totally exhausted and frustrated by my lack of willpower towards eating while stressed. I know I have a lot going on in my life - full time student, mother of a toddler, newly separated from my son's dad and living with my grandma - but seriously, I don't know how I can keep seeing the scale go up and not do anything. It doesn't help that my grandma binges on sweets, too. Only she - like I used to in early college - goes to the gym for hours to burn it off. (I seriously don't know how an 80 year old woman does yoga/pilates for four hours a day, but she does it.)
But my feelings are just that I'm tired about losing weight. Frustrated. I don't know how I can my emotions from "tired" to "motivated and energized." I was so focused after my son was born and now I'm not. Seeing my weight gain and knowledge that my body is not in a good spot isn't enough motivation it seems.
Anyway, I'm wondering how some of you found your motivation. I desperately need a kick in the butt. And since I joined here 3 1/2 years ago at this exact same weight I really need help.
Sorry for the grumpy rant. But thank you all for reading, if nothing else.
You certainly DO have a lot going on. That said, many of us have a lot of challenges too, which is great news for you, because that means it's very possible to tackle weight loss anyway.
My motivation isn't always there, so rather than thinking of it as motivation, perhaps you can think of it as commitment. It's just like brushing your teeth, you do it cuz you have to and you're committed to keeping good oral health.
I think it's important to find a plan that fits your life. Don't think long term. Focus on it one day at a time. Think back to what has worked for you in the past and what hasn't.
It might not hurt to ask your grandma for some support. Perhaps she can hide her sweets so that you can't find it and maybe she could eat it when you're not around. However, ultimately, you are responsible for not eating those junky things.
Here's what has helped me:
Avoiding sugar and flour for the rest of my life. I never thought I could do it, but my life has changed so much for the better. I realized that I can't eat those foods in moderation.
I joined OA, Overeaters Anonymous. It has taught me how to deal with difficult situations in my life. I have a child with some major challenges and I also have chronic daily migraines. I thought it was an excuse to self medicate with food, but I realized it only made things worse. Much, much worse.
I pre plan my meals most of the time and I make sure that every meal has a frame. Meaning, it has a beginning and an end. One plate of food. No second helpings, no extras.
I have been counting calories but I'm not doing it anymore because I'm so close to goal.
I try to eat as many whole, non processed foods as possible . The more whole, the more nutritious, the better I feel.
I move every day in some way. I walk my dog, I park far away, I take stairs, etc.
Everyone is different and you need to figure out what you can live with. Focus on your goal and make the challenge fun. I hope you figure it out!
You can do it!!!
Well, my motivation is that I lost 15 years of my life being overweight and doing nothing due to the aches and pains in my body. I let life pass me by and I regret EVERY SINGLE DAY that I wasted! Four years ago, I decided that if I want to do the things that I only dreamed about, that i had to lose the weight. I've lost 67 pounds! This year I climbed my first 14er in Colorado and hiked many mountain trails in a 10 day period. It was amazingly beautiful and a very rewarding experience. This Christmas I plan on taking snowboarding lessons and hitting the mountains, even if its sliding downhill on my backside. I have no photos of the last 15 years of my life with my husband and now plan on scrapbooking every single moment, every single accomplishment, every single experience! It was challenging to find the strength and motivation to create positive changes in my life. However, i'm here now, 2 years shy of my 50th birthday. Find your motivation and get busy living!
Amazing stories by amazing women, I'm in awe of all of you!
Racrane, don't be so hard on yourself! We all have a limited amount of so called "motivation" and you're giving a lot of energy to your toddler, your school, and moving on with your life. You may not realize it now but that's quite a load to deal with. Mommies are notorious for putting themselves on the back burner.
I'll piggyback on what luckymommy said about brushing your teeth. Everyday is made up of a series of decisions. If they were all depending to be fueled by motivation and willpower we'd all still be in bed right now! Imagine if every morning you had I motivate yourself to go to school or to feed your son, no you just do it.
When we are stressed, anxious and whatever else you may feel then our eating may take a hit. In truth, eating is sometimes the only form of self care we allow ourselves and we splurge on it. I know for myself that I want to feel nurtured and comforted by my meals. That's why IE works so well for me, because I can focus on extracting as much pleasure out of my meals as possible with mindful eating techniques. Sometimes sitting down for a hot plate of food is the only pleasure we have all day - we shouldn't feel guilty about that. So the more I've learned to enjoy my food without guilt the less food I've needed to eat! Guilt is a major driving force for Overeating!
Hi there. There's not much I can add to these wonderful posts. I wholeheartedly agree with everything that's been said so far. Motivation is a fickle thing not worth waiting around for. So is willpower.
I'm a veteran of a great many vices, and I've found commitment to change is what works. I wouldn't allow myself to go back to smoking because I'm busy and stressed out, so why would I allow myself to go back to abusive eating for those reasons?
Another thing that helps is that I love my lifestyle. I've found several types of exercise that I can rotate to keep from getting bored. I've developed a way of eating that I love. I don't eat things I don't like. I restrict my calories but I don't restrict my food choices. I can have whatever I want, just not as much as I want whenever I want.
As a result of committing to a lifestyle I enjoy, I find it pretty easy to keep going even when the scale isn't moving. Motivation isn't necessary, but the nice thing is that it isn't often missing.
I find motivation is lost to me when I'm overly stressed and have way too much on my figurative plate. But also, when I'm bored and have nothing to do, the last thing I want to do is exercise. Go figure!
My motivation for losing weight was to be in a relationship, I was too insecure while I was fat so that was a good kick for me because I was so lonely.
I've been in a relationship now for over a year and a half and I regained, I now have 27 pounds to lose again. So clearly I also need a new motivation! My new motivation is to fit into all the lingerie I used to wear last year; also to wake up without so many aches and pains - so I do yoga daily.
I struggle with depression too, so I drag myself out of bed daily to begin with so I must plan all of my/our meals every week or so or else I drown in stress just thinking about it. Every Wednesday, I look at the grocery flyers and plan our meals according to my own weight loss goals and the specials because we are on a tight budget. Also I started following the 5:2 fasting diet, and I'm starting to eat low carb because on the days I'm too sore to exercise, at least I know I'm not overeating. Eating those two plans has curbed my desire to binge and stress-eat.
Those are some of my tricks, especially the planning, that way I don't have to even think about what I'm going to eat. I also plan snacks and never keep crap in the house. I agree that you should ask your grandma to hide her sweets, she will if you ask!
As for exercise, does your school have a fitness center? Maybe before you head home you can hit the gym for an hour 3-4 times a week?
You need to find what works for you, and everyone has their own method, but maybe one of our methods will click with you too!
Last edited by Chardonnay; 10-11-2014 at 01:55 PM.
I asked my grandma and she agreed to hide her snacks. She also asked if I could go to weight watchers with her because she didn't want to go alone. I agreed because 1) I know she was a apart of the program in the past and liked it and 2) I figured maybe it will do me some good too.
The hardest thing for me right now is that I'm working the concession stand for my theater department for a show - and there are too many yummy homemade goods right now - eeek!
I have a lot of work to do, but I appreciate all your responses. They mean a lot to me. I'd love to hear more stories and advice! <3
NO motivation.... I need a kick in the butt
I really need help.
There's not much I can add to these wonderful posts. I wholeheartedly agree with everything that's been said so far. Motivation is a fickle thing not worth waiting around for. So is willpower.
