[Patricklm82]

Let me start out by saying I'm 31, male, smoker, and currently weigh around 285 lbs. for as long as I can remember I have been overweight. I never really thought about the consequences of being overweight until I got married and had children. When my second child was born we found out she had congenital heart problems. She had to have open heart surgery when she was 3 months old. She is now two years old and very healthy. Between her and my job I started feeling extreme amounts of stress and eventually about three months ago I had a massive panic attack. My doctor put me on several different anxiety medications but I could not handle the side effects. Currently I am on blood pressure medication but trying to ween off of it because it makes me feel horrible. I started out over 300lbs when I had the panic attack. Now I am below that. Trying to limit my intake of soda and high calorie stuff. And I'm trying to exercise at least 3 times a week. I feel like I have hit a wall. It seems I'm starting to lose hope. I try to talk to my wife about theses things but she's not so much into sharing feelings. She says she supports me but she seems to busy to pay attention unless it's got something to do with our children. I am getting to the point where I'm afraid that I'm all alone in this. Can anybody relate to these problems? Any advice would be extremely appreciated

[novangel]

Hey, welcome to 3FC.

You're definitely not alone, there are lots of people here that started out just like you and have been successful in reaching their weight loss goal.

I used to smoke for about 18 years, and also have anxiety and panic disorder. It's your body's way of releasing copious amounts of stress and I know it's a pain to deal with.

You're on the right track though, exercising 3 days a week is better than nothing and I can tell you it works wonders for minimizing panic disorder. Watch your calories and just keep going. Take the time to browse this site and settle in. There's a ton of valuable information here as well as support.

Good luck.

[moonkissed]

I have a severe panic disorder and have horrible panic attacks. It really sucks lol. And it is really hard for other people to understand. Alot of other people see it as not a big deal because they do not experience it. So I feel you

I would talk to your doctor about trying other meds maybe? Start with a low dosage for sure. I just started taking meds not too long ago it doesn't cure it but they are helping manage it.

Though I think the best thing for anxiety is talking with a therapist. It can be super scary but so worth it. Just to have someone to talk to. I love my therapist!

Obviously quitting smoking would help Also cutting out caffeine is supposed to be helpful as well. At the very least I would switch to diet soda if u don't want to give it up. Drinking calories can hurt alot. I just quit cold turkey soda and it was **** at first. I had withdrawls. But I bought a cute water bottle and just chug down so much water now. It is easy and now I love it. Not easy but it does get easier.

Feel free to PM me if u need to talk

[LiannaKole]

I second what the others are saying - you're not alone in this at all. This is often a great site for support and information, and probably people here have gone through similar things at one point or another.

I also agree that something you might want to look into is talking to someone professionally about your anxieties, especially if your partner and friends are not able to offer support with that. Talking about things like that often helps. It's a way to sort through things and deal with them. And it may be that the way your partner deals with her fears is to not talk about them (I know, because I do that a lot - not super healthy, but it's my knee-jerk reaction and it's hard to break). She may not be too busy - she might just be really worried about the same things and handle it differently. I say that because it may be true, and because sometimes it's helpful to know things like that aren't out of a lack of concern, but rather too much concern (overload, basically).

A lot of people here will be able to identify with not having anyone in their real life to talk to. Many of us don't for various reasons. I have no support in my real life. It works out surprisingly okay (I get a lot of motivation from myself - outside critique/compliments actually throw me off, I've found). I'd recommend maybe starting a weekly exercise or weekly weigh in thread. People go there to chat and report on their progress. If you find the right one for you, it's like a daily talk with people who get what you're going through.

As far as weight loss, it's going to take time and daily work. It doesn't have to be really hard all the time (in fact, if you find a method you like, it really shouldn't be), but it will get tough at times. That's okay, and that's normal. The tough parts pass. Any loss is a victory - quick loss isn't "better." It IS worth it, though. Just do a bit at a time like you've been doing. Going slow and steady works best in most cases. The weight will come off in time if you're fairly consistent.

Good luck, Patricklm82! And welcome to 3FC!

[IanG]

Yes. I started my journey aged 38 and 281lbs. I am married (now separated) and had twin baby boys at the time. Lots of stress. Combined with in-laws that became ill and living in another country.
You need to focus on your diet. Exercise is good but matters less for weightloss initially. I used to walk a lot but the weight kept piling on because I ate so many calories. One day I decided to skip dinner and the scale started to fall. Then I made a number of other small changes along the way that added up to big changes over the course of a year. So hang in there and experiment a little or a lot to find what works for you. Success is highly individual. I now skip dinner; eat no junk/sodas; eat only fish, oats, honey and salad; run at least 4 miles a day; weight train; box; and drink beer. None of that happened over night but through small changes and watching the scale.

You are heavy and a guy so the weight should come off quick! That's one advantage with starting big that no-one tells you about.

For the stress, you may want to see a therapist. I do and it helps. Keep stress and what you put in your mouth separate. And use exercise to reduce stress.

[JohnP]

Man here! You need to do two things.

1) Lift weights. This is the best exercise for weight loss and stress reduction.

2) Diet. You need to control your caloric intake. Avoiding "high calorie foods" and soda aint' cutting it. There are a number of ways to do this but the easiest for most people is to go low carb. Paleo or Atkins are worth looking into.

By the way smoking is not good for anxiety. I know it seems like it helps but it makes it worse. Just google it my friend you will see that smoking is part of your problem.

[luckymommy]

I'm so glad you found this site and had the courage to post about your experience. Many of us here can relate to what you're going through, so you are not alone. I'd just like to add that if you can't afford a therapist, you can get some really good benefits from writing daily in a journal. You might also try guided meditation on youtube for free. I would also suggest keeping a food log and watching the food intake more than exercise (which is great for fitness, but weight loss is so much more about the caloric intake).

Make small changes and take note of how much better you feel....over time, you'll get into the swing of things. You've already lost a good amount of weight, so you are clearly on the right track.

I highly recommend cutting sugar out of your diet, but that's just what works for me, and everyone is different. Take care.