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Old 06-01-2014, 08:35 PM   #1
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Hi, I'm not sure this is the correct section to post this.

I have started my weight loss journey many, many, many times over the last 6 years and never stuck to it for more than a few days without 'cheating' and eventually giving up. My weight has ballooned to 97.3kg at the highest, I dropped a couple of kilos in all my half hearted attempts and hovered around 95kg convinced I couldn't lose weight.

Five weeks ago it was like a light switch was flicked and out of nowhere I am focused and determined and have lost 10kg!!! I've spent the past four weeks 100% cheat free and on plan. The strangest thing is this sense of will power that I've got. Anyone know what it is that changes? Is it just your mindset? Determination? Being totally fed up??? It's very weird for me LOL

I've been posting on another weight loss forum and I keep reading 'I stuffed up' and 'it's ok to cheat, you've got to live life' and then they're disappointed their weight isn't dropping so well. This was exactly me before.

Thoughts? Thanks
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Old 06-01-2014, 10:17 PM   #2
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This is exactly where I'm at mindset-wise right now, ChubbyMum. I'd lost weight but failed to maintain the loss more times than I can count. I was ready to give up, feeling like I was just torturing myself with a goal that was possibly unattainable.

I came here to the maintainer's forum to ask " what did you do differently that made this time a success instead of another failure? " I came to ask "should I try one more time?"

The answers I got were yes, you should try because it can be different this time. Each one said it was different for them this time because they learned that you never really stop the things you do to lose the weight in the first place.

I'm of the mind that the desperation I felt being at my highest weight ever made me open to listening and acting in a way I never have before. In the past, I've always wanted to bargain so I could " cheat ". It's OK to eat whatever I want to because I'm upset, happy, celebrating, exercising a lot, etc.

Well, as a smoker, I used to use those same excuses to hop off the wagon more times than I could count until one day I realized the only way to quit permanently was not to allow myself any excuses. Ten years later I'm still smoke free.

Now that strategy seems to be working for weight loss. I stick to my plan and I don't give in. In a sense it feels like a light switch was flicked as you said, but I know it is the result of learning from long experience.
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Old 06-02-2014, 01:56 AM   #3
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Very well put Streudal what you've written makes a lot of sense to me. I'm glad someone can relate and understand where I'm coming from. I'm really enjoying the freedom of these feelings, it's the first time I actually feel like I'm in the right headspace yet I would've sworn every other time I'd given it my all!
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Old 06-02-2014, 04:53 AM   #4
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I basically never cheat on a diet until i am at a very low weight, then it doesn't even feel like cheating. I just have this idea that if i cheat, its all over. And that aversion to cheating has enabled me to lose weight many times. I tend to put it back on when life circumstances change and i'm not vigilant anymore.

But in terms of how you feel so motivated, yes i know what you mean. Many times i try to start a diet and simply can't. I just give up. But sometimes, like this time, the moment is right and i am ready and can go forward no trouble.



I believe its due to hormones, most likely seratonin. I really think its to do with this type of thing. Of course its not purely hormone levels. I tend to go along for a while with train a thought about wanting to lose weight, rather than not caring, and then at some point, an opportunity (an idea) pops into my head that the time is now. This time it was just after new year and i thought about new years resolutions and i hadn't made one yet. And i decided on the spot and haven't look back since. My new years resolution was to get to 60kg by the end of the year.

I have had a few challenges to deal with and some mood issues but i have dealt with them rather than taking to food. And now, five months later, i am so far into my diet that i feel i've come too far to mess up on a casual whim. It was much the same when i quit smoking so many years ago now.

So now i make sure that i take care of my mood as best i can. I try to correct my mood with my little pack of psychological tools that i've accumulated over the years and when they don't work, i go and get some counselling.

And i avoid temptation. And eat a lot of fruit for sweetness. I also drink wine but i don't overindulge in alcohol. I also get plenty of sleep as i know its important for weightloss.

As for willpower, i try to avoid the need of it. I try to avoid getting very hungry and if i do get hungry between meals, i eat something healthy. Apparenlty allowing yourself to become ravenous can become a cause of diet failure.

Eat well and eat when you are hungry. Don't over eat.

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Old 06-03-2014, 01:03 PM   #5
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Congrats to you!

I had something click a couple years ago when I started this, my only truly successful weight-loss journey. For me, it was turning 40 and realizing that I'd likely never have kids (something we've wanted for a long time) and there would be no one here to look after me but my husband (hopefully) and myself. Did I really want to be unhealthy, overweight, depressed and in a wheelchair because my joints were so bad that I couldn't walk by the time I was 65? And no one there to help me...? My choice - get healthy and stay healthy so I can live to a ripe-old-age happy, healthy and fulfilled. My husband got healthy and I got healthy, and we are enjoying life immensely.

I honestly believe that if a person cannot remain determined and steadfast in their goals, weight-loss and healthy habits for at least a few months, then they are destined to fail (this time). I was militaristic with my goals for about the first 6 months and I had a lot of success. After that came the vacations, business trips, etc. - and I learned how to be flexible and bounceback from unplanned eating and even binges. If someone cannot follow a plan for longer than a few days or weeks, then, IMO, they are not ready and/or have chosen an unrealistic plan, and they are destined to fail (not forever, but at least this time). I'm guessing that's an unpopular opinion...

Stay on track and stay strong and you will learn the tools you need to get you through those times when you might find yourself lacking this intense motivation. Those times will come...but once you have the foundation, you can absolutely succeed for life!
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Old 06-03-2014, 06:54 PM   #6
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Speaking from my self-awareness, your mileage might differ

I have always been a goal oriented person and could go great guns committed to whatever... like this woe. I have failed more times than mentionable here.
But my recommendations are three.

1) Set the goal, we are all pretty good at that BUT log the number of times you have faltered and know them. Vow that you will not repeat those mistakes ever again. Know why you failed, and vow not to repeat.

2) The most common reason why I have failed close to goal weight or at goal. Is that satan like whisper telling you that it is just one meal... I am like a alcoholic near a bar, me and carbs, I don't need a diet, I need a twelve step program!

3) Lastly, tell yourself how you are going to succeed when you have failed so many times before. How does your future look so you can for the rest of you life get off the yo-yo carousel?

Know yourself, get with the self-realization, I cannot let myself just go on auto-pilot. I have to be aware of my actions.

My personal self-talk and awareness for this attempt goes like this: First to lose the weight, then to keep it off for the rest of my life.

Mark, you must be aware of how you eat to lose this weight, You must log everything good or bad, you have to run a weekly and daily deficit to lose this weight. Exercise and muscle mass will help this goal. Mark, you will not stop until your target weight is reached!

Mark, you need to realize that you are 52 now and not 22. You have a thrifty genome and will never again be able to eat large meals like you did as a young athlete. Get over it, eat small meals, count your bites. Practice your future while you are losing weight.

I am using myfitnesspal to track my foods and exercise, it is helping me!

Never Give Up!
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Old 06-03-2014, 06:57 PM   #7
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Quote:
If someone cannot follow a plan for longer than a few days or weeks, then, IMO, they are not ready and/or have chosen an unrealistic plan, and they are destined to fail (not forever, but at least this time). I'm guessing that's an unpopular opinion...
I think this is accurate and well put.
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Old 06-03-2014, 09:10 PM   #8
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I wish I could bottle up that spark.

When I first started losing weight It was like slamming into a wall. Just a sudden realization that I had to change. It began with a trip to the ER where I discovered I was diabetic. I knew I had to change and I did amazing. My doctor called me the perfect patient. I dropped from 231lbs to under 190.

But alot of crap happened and I got off track and gained it all back. Since then I have started again so so so many countless times. I would gain & lose, gain & lose. But always hanging around 200-215lbs.

Idk why really. I still had the same wish to get healthy and make better choices. But I could not kickstart that spark.

IDK if I believe in needing to be "ready", because am I ever going to be really ready? There will always be crap in my way. I will always have to face the same things that knocked me down before. It is never going to be any easier. I can't wait to be ready and idk how to make myself be ready or whatever.

I think the real key is being honest with ourselves and when we fall learn from it. Like seeing what triggered my last downfall, and what happened the time before that and trying to deal with that issue. Just really not giving up.

I am back at it again. I am not super charged like I was before but I think this time is for good. I am not giving up on myself.
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Old 06-03-2014, 09:23 PM   #9
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I don't think i would advocate waiting to be ready either. I just have found that sometimes i can go ahead without a hitch, (ready mode) and other times when i try i can't. (unready mode).
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Old 06-03-2014, 09:25 PM   #10
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I've shifted mental gears a couple of times in my life, to make weight loss possible where it had always failed before. I couldn't tell you much of why that was. Perhaps it was injury, or seeing a very unflattering photo of me?

I'm finding that going lower carb and being pedantic about calories, exercise and daily weighing is the only thing that works for me. Even if you have to eat protein bars instead of chocolate bars, it does something to your hunger signals and you can cope with less food with less stress.
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