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Old 05-26-2014, 04:06 PM   #1  
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Default Watching everyone else eat foods I crave

Ok … so I get that I am the one on the "diet" and that my fam shouldn't have to eat everything I eat down to the "t" BUT do I really need to live in the same house with chocolate . Ice cream . Cake . You get the picture and yes this is supposed to be a life style change for the better. I get that. But day 10 of absolutely no bread. Potato. Sugar. Sugar. Sugar. Is driving me mad. I reorganised the entire kitchen and living room yesterday to keep me occupied and not think about the cravings so much. But oooooooh a piece of cake....... It just sets my mouth watering. Ugh!!! Tomorrow is first official weight day and already I feel a difference. Even an old tight fitting pair of pants were baggy today. My hubby thinks that 10 days is too soon to notice such a difference but I totally disagree. Well. If anyone feels the same as me with cravings etc. please tell me to stick to it. Support support support. X
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Old 05-26-2014, 04:14 PM   #2  
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I'm a low carber in a family of people who eat normally. I cook their food 3-4 times a day. It's not easy, but this is where the internal conviction that you're doing the best thing for your health is crucial. Commitment to your goals, smart substitutions in items you miss, and remembering that these things may not be off limits forever (I eat low carb icecream and cheesecake, I can make oopsie it rolls and eat blueberries and cream, I've gleefully skinned the toppings off more than one pizza and eaten them without the crust) is important.

Moderation doesn't work well in the weight loss phases of low carb plans. For some of us it doesn't work well, by and large, even in maintenance. We eat on plan all but a few select occasions throughout the year because anything else leads to yoyoing. But so what? It's just food, and the memory of how it tastes is ALWAYS better for me than the actual taste. And never as satisfying as being comfortable in my healthy, strong body.

Figure out your reasons for doing this and rest in those. If you need to, make a low carb dessert so you don't feel deprived. I eat coconut shreds (unsweetened), dark chocolate, and diet coke for these very reasons - they satisfy my sweet tooth and keep me from going nuts and off the rails. But in the end there will always be tasty food someone else is eating - fried twinkles, breadsticks, Baskin Robbins, what have you. Changing the way you view food will help immensely in the long run (we're not entitled to eat whatever we want, whenever we want, without consequences - why rail against it?).
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Old 05-26-2014, 10:39 PM   #3  
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I have rule, that some foods are NOT MINE!

I love chips and so does my DH. But, the chips are HIS, not MINE!

It really boils down to choosing.

Lunch today, I made the DH his requested Hamburger gravy, and hashbrowns. I had skinless chicken breast with buffalo sauce and a salad, with home made dressing.

Yes, it's more work, but that's ok.

Granted the chicken was already cooked, I cook a big batch for the week so all I had to do was add the seasoning and toss a salad.
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Old 05-27-2014, 04:06 AM   #4  
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Its hard, and I've been through the 'its not fair, I want to eat that and cant' many many many times over the years. The only way I can change it is changing my attitude. Which is easier said than done! I have 2little children and a husband who aren't 'dieting' so know where your coming from.
Something like 'I could eat that but I CHOOSE not to because I'm taking care of me'. 'I don't want to eat that I want to see the changes I'm making, reflect in the scale/in the mirror'. Its hard but quite empowering. YOU are in control of what you put in your body and YOU can choose to say no. Go kick ice creams butt

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Old 05-27-2014, 06:48 AM   #5  
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Changing the way you view food will help immensely in the long run (we're not entitled to eat whatever we want, whenever we want, without consequences - why rail against it?).
^This!
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Old 05-27-2014, 08:19 AM   #6  
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Well i don't agree with quitting bread etc but i do agree with quitting sugar. And i find the way that is easier for me is to basically not want to eat that **** anymore. I don't need it. It kills me. It makes me depressed because when i eat it i get fat and its all i eat and i don't eat my vegies. It is pretty close to literally a poison for me. So i am much happier without it in my life.

That said, my father who lives iwht me eats it and i don't like to see sweet foods around me. When i am at work and someone has left some biscuits on the bench, i move the jar to the top of the fridge where i can't see it.
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Old 05-27-2014, 09:01 AM   #7  
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(we're not entitled to eat whatever we want, whenever we want, without consequences - why rail against it?).
I do feel entitled to eat anything I want which is why intuitive eating works so well for me. It's completely unfair to eat differently than everyone else around me and I can't do it - proven. It just never worked for me, as long as I was dieting I was binging. I've been doing IE for 4 months now and in that time I've lost weight, stopped binging, been eating less carbs than when I was doing low carb, and feeling a lot less anxious around food. I can't alter my surroundings, so it does take a complete change of attitude and total rewiring of my brain. I live in a house full of chocolate, ice cream, potatoes, a variety of breads.... and I walk right by them.
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Old 05-27-2014, 09:18 AM   #8  
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I have just started my weight loss journey (again), and I've also started working at a Dunkin Donuts for the summer. It's so hard to resist all those donuts and sweets, especially when everyone I'm working with just eats whatever they want if they are hungry. Yesterday I did eat some, and I felt so guilty afterwards! I am finding that to avoid binging, at least now when I'm just starting off, I have to slowly wean myself off of these bad foods. If I don't have anything sweet for a couple of days, I go a little overboard when I do have some. Personally, I have to just moderate my sweets intake until I get down to where they don't tempt me anymore. But for now, I still need to allow myself to have a very small amount of sweets semi-regularly so I don't go overboard. Hopefully I will soon get to where they no longer tempt me!
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Old 05-27-2014, 10:09 AM   #9  
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I don't know what plan you are on, but how will it bode well for you if you are not happy with the way you are eating?

Is it sustainable long term?

If you do "tough it out" and have enough will power to not eat what you really want to eat, what happens when you lose the weight?

Will you go back to eating the way you did before?

If the way you ate before got you to that point, it can do it again.

You could lose, then regain all you have lost.

What works for some, may not work for everyone. Some people need to follow a certain diet plan. If it works for them and they can do it, then great.

There are things I love to eat, but I have to avoid them or they will trigger binges.

The cleaner I eat, the less junk food cravings I have.

My eating plan is mainly calorie counting, along with walking an average of 80 minutes per day. I eat most foods that I love, but in moderation. I focus on eating healthy foods too, but I also eat foods I enjoy that some people may not consider so healthy.

I do know that I am not going to be able to stay on a healthy eating plan by severely restricting myself or telling myself I can not have things I love to eat.

So I work them into my plan and eat them in moderation.

I eat potatoes as often as I like, a few days a month I even have them fried, or store bought frozen and then baked.

I eat home made white bread, or home made whole wheat bread and home made tortillas almost every day.

But I do watch how much of it I do eat and count accordingly.

Chips, I love chips, but that is something that will derail me. Usually about once a month I will decide how many I can eat, count them in my calories, and eat them. I worry more about the extra sodium adding water weight on me more so then I do the calories. I also worry if I start eating them too often I will want them every day and will start eating way too much.

So yes there are some foods I do need to say no to.

A big thing that has helped me is to be happy with the foods I am eating and to not let myself get hungry.

Chips, I do have some in the house that I have eaten and I do like, but I don't get into them. I remember one time the kids left the bag open and a chip jumped into my hand when I was trying to close the bag. HAHA

I almost ate it, but then I knew I would just want more, so I put it away.

I am at a point where I do have quite a bit of motivation and will power. But if I didn't, I would not keep that in the house.

My kids love hot cheetos, I think they are nasty, so I buy those.

Basically if your family has to have treats in the house, buy stuff they like but you hate.

Sugar cravings, start eating some fruit.

I am not eating as much fruit now as I used to. But in the past I was eating quite a few different fuits a day and it did seem to help alleviate sugar cravings.

Once or twice a month now I will work 1/2 cup of Spumoni ice cream into my calories. I had some Sunday night. I had enough room in my cals, and I was telling myself, hey, have 1 whole cup! But I said no, you have room for 1/2 cup and even if you had room for 1 cup you dont need to eat that much. Its a treat.

I used to love to drink a few pepsis a day. I told myself I can have a 12 oz can once a week. I love pepsi. It is nice to have things to look forward too. But lately it has been like once every 2 weeks because I would rather spend my cals on actual food. So yes there are some things I need to watch and limit.

WHat I drink most days besides water is green tea. I will make up about 64 oz and add 2 TBS of honey total. (I do not like milk so I will not drink it, I choose to get my calcium from yogurt, kefir and cheese.)

I try to cook and bake alot from scratch and I try to avoid overly processed foods.

I am eating the foods I love, chicken ~ boneless skinless breast, + regular thighs and legs too, bbq sauce, roast, tacos, enchiladas, spaghetti, lasagna, home made flour tortillas, home made french bread with real butter and garlic, burritos, ribs, beans, rice, kefir, yogurt, cheddar cheese, swiss cheese, mozarella cheese, home made salsa, hamburgers, once in a while fries and fried chicken, mashed potatoes, potato salad, salads, romaine, spinach, veggies, avocados, some fruits, tuna, eggs, real butter, sour cream, almonds, home made or store bought whole wheat bread, home made white bread and rolls, home made bagels and cream cheese, home made hamburger buns, taquitos, home made pizza, home made tamales, turkey, turkey soup, carne asada tacos, spanish rice, etc.

There is alot of room left to change the foods I am eating and to eat even healthier foods. I know I could switch to eating chicken breast 5 nights a week and limiting red meat to twice a week. I am happy where I am right now and I am still losing so I am leaving it alone.

Not only am I happy with the foods that I am eating, I am also happy with the amount of calories I am eating. Sure there are times I would like to eat a WHOLE bunch more. But I am not hungry and that is what got me to being overweight in the first place was eating alot of food.

I don't need it. I tell myself I can have more the next day. If I am craving something, I tell myself to work it in my calories the next day.

As time goes on and I lose more, I may need to adjust the calories downward and that is fine. Or I may need to eat even cleaner, and that is fine too.

So for me this is not a diet, it is a healthy eating plan, one I need to stick to for the rest of my life. Which is why I need it to be foods that I enjoy eating.
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Old 05-27-2014, 10:57 AM   #10  
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. . . we're not entitled to eat whatever we want, whenever we want, without consequences - why rail against it?).
ITA! It really boils down to that reality. I don't care what anyone labels it, how they spin it, etc., the reality is that if we want to be a healthy weight, we have to sacrifice something. We cannot eat everything we want in whatever portions we want as many times a day/week as we want without gaining weight. Now, some may have been able to change the "want" aspect of that equation (e.g., those doing IF successfully). Many people cannot do that, though (I'm one of them; I cannot go back to the pre-dieting mindset---I've taken the bite of the proverbial fruit from the tree of knowledge, and there's no way I can convince myself that I haven't).

In my view, I think one of the most common traits I see among those of us who struggle with our weight is the "it's not fair" attitude concerning what we can't eat without gaining. In fact, in the Beck Diet Solution book, the author cites some statistic that indicates that most people who struggle with their weight have that mindset. I've been maintaining for 2 1/2 years, and one of the mindset changes I've had to make is accepting that some things are just "unfair." The main unfairness is not that someone else can eat something I "can't"; it's that I love eating more than many others. That is the only "unfairness" I can see (because if I ate exactly the diet of some "naturally thin" people I know, I would probably be the same weight they are). Because I love food more than many other people, I have to artificially restrict my diet in some way (e.g., calorie counting) and exercise more than most. Unfair? Maybe, but no more so that me being able to intuitively handle finances and my best friend not being able to do the same. We all have our struggles.

Last edited by lin43; 05-27-2014 at 10:58 AM.
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Old 05-27-2014, 11:06 AM   #11  
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cheddahcat, I know it is frustrating, but you CAN stick to it. How you "stick to it" may change as you figure out what really works for you and your family, but you CAN DO IT!

I still hold a lot of resentment towards my SO when it comes to food, but I'm dealing with it and learning how to handle my cravings. We will often eat the same things, but I will cook a large side of veggies for myself and eat less of the main meal. I use substitutions - zucchini noodles instead of pasta (or sometimes I mix the two), a bed of veggies instead of rice, etc. I buy snacks for him that I won't eat, because I don't like them. I incorporate fasting into my eating routine so that I can eat more of the things I enjoy at home with him. I tell him my food plan for the day or, if I'm having a treat like ice cream, I will verbally say how much I will have so that I feel accountable. Or, I will ask him to save a scoop of ice cream (just an example) for me to have tomorrow, if I don't feel I can have it that day. Otherwise, he WILL eat everything he can get his hands on...heh

At the same time, he has changed how and what he eats because of me. I discovered we both really enjoy hummus and carrot sticks as a snack, so I keep that in the house (I buy individual portions of hummus so neither of us overeat it) instead of some of the other more unhealthy snacks I used to have on hand for him. Being able to replace some unhealthy things that he eats with healthier foods helps BOTH of us.

With a little compromise and substitution, I think you and your family can find a way to be healthier together without you being resentful of their food choices.

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Old 05-27-2014, 05:28 PM   #12  
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I do feel entitled to eat anything I want which is why intuitive eating works so well for me. It's completely unfair to eat differently than everyone else around me and I can't do it - proven. It just never worked for me, as long as I was dieting I was binging. I've been doing IE for 4 months now and in that time I've lost weight, stopped binging, been eating less carbs than when I was doing low carb, and feeling a lot less anxious around food. I can't alter my surroundings, so it does take a complete change of attitude and total rewiring of my brain. I live in a house full of chocolate, ice cream, potatoes, a variety of breads.... and I walk right by them.
I think you missed the most important thing I was getting at - "without consequences". It's not the food, the quantity, or anything else. It's expecting to eat things our bodies don't handle well, or eat things in quantities that cause the scale to go up and our pants to get tight, and then bellyache about it! There are consequences, good and bad, to whatever foods we eat.

Example: A (happy) consequence of my avocado and seaweed addiction is that my skin and hair look amazing. On the other hand, a consequence of my inability to feel full without huge overeating is that I must always use a food log or I will intuit my way back up to where intuitive eating led *me* the last time - that would be 270-ish pounds.

I've said this before - I'm glad you found what works for you, but on a low carb plan like the OP is using moderation is the kiss of death. You cannot both increase your fats/protein AND do higher carbohydrate items. It results in weight gain for all but the most resistant metabolisms. On a plan with lower fat and protein and calorie controlled a fair segment of the population can have carbohydrates and not gain, or even lose. But again, this gets back to my main point of consequences for our choices. We must weigh that out every single day, in all areas of life. Diet isn't magically immune to this, and losing the weight doesn't make the reality of maintenance magically disappear. The reality being that you must be aware and cogent of the consequences of your food choices and respond accordingly if things start going back up, or you'll find yourself yoyoing or worse - back where you started.

Know thyself and be willing to self experiment - but don't live in fairytale land where you're continually shocked that food and exercise choices have real time ramifications on our health. My general goal is that I make choices with positive results for my body most of the time, and very stringently limit the choices with deleterious consequences. That's how I haven't regained every pound I've lost over the last half decade. Those choices and trade offs look different for each body, but they're there nonetheless.
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Old 05-27-2014, 05:30 PM   #13  
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ITA! It really boils down to that reality. I don't care what anyone labels it, how they spin it, etc., the reality is that if we want to be a healthy weight, we have to sacrifice something. We cannot eat everything we want in whatever portions we want as many times a day/week as we want without gaining weight. Now, some may have been able to change the "want" aspect of that equation (e.g., those doing IF successfully). Many people cannot do that, though (I'm one of them; I cannot go back to the pre-dieting mindset---I've taken the bite of the proverbial fruit from the tree of knowledge, and there's no way I can convince myself that I haven't).

In my view, I think one of the most common traits I see among those of us who struggle with our weight is the "it's not fair" attitude concerning what we can't eat without gaining. In fact, in the Beck Diet Solution book, the author cites some statistic that indicates that most people who struggle with their weight have that mindset. I've been maintaining for 2 1/2 years, and one of the mindset changes I've had to make is accepting that some things are just "unfair." The main unfairness is not that someone else can eat something I "can't"; it's that I love eating more than many others. That is the only "unfairness" I can see (because if I ate exactly the diet of some "naturally thin" people I know, I would probably be the same weight they are). Because I love food more than many other people, I have to artificially restrict my diet in some way (e.g., calorie counting) and exercise more than most. Unfaibr? Maybe, but no more so that me being able to intuitively handle finances and my best friend not being able to do the same. We all have our struggles.
Well that's what I was getting at, but far more succinct
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Old 05-27-2014, 05:43 PM   #14  
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Well, I suppose I am lucky. On the way down, I kept one thing unrestricted that I like and it did not, thankfully, affect my weightloss. Beer. That is how I dealt with the fair question. Kids and wife can eat what the heck they like, I still get my beer. No problem. No issue. No sense of feeling unsatisfied.

But now I have lost a lot of weight and have changed my lifestyle and diet dramatically I actually prefer the food I eat now to what they eat. So the fairness issue is redundant. The big shift for me was viewing food as medicine. The foods I eat don't just help me lose weight/maintain, they also do awesome other stuff to my body like make my joints feel better, lower my BP, make my skin smoother, and my eyes and hair shine. Icecream, pizza, chips, candy and cake didn't do that for me. Beer didn't/doesn't either! But I kept that little vice!

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Old 05-27-2014, 05:48 PM   #15  
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I only found it was hard for me to be around "their" food when I was still getting it out of my system. With the sugars (breads, rice, etc) out of my system, I can cook it, work with it, etc and not be tempted to eat it. BUT... I also need to be well-rested. Sleepy me will crave that fast energy, but otherwise, I don't want it.
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