I'm jumping on this thread a bit late, but I just had to. I'm so sorry that your mother is that way. I understand how humiliating and traumatic being treated like you are worth less because of your weight is. My grandma (a narcissist) said the same thing to me around easter this year. She said she would pay me 10 dollars for every pound I lose. I made the mistake of telling her I was losing weight, and then she told me that was good because I'm not as pretty when I'm fat, and then criticism me for not losing more weight faster. I saw her and my narcissist father for my brother's graduation a couple weeks ago, and I'm still recovering from the damage. I was hungry (bc I really hadn't eaten much that day) and grabbed some soybean chips, and grandma blocked my path out of the kitchen and said "will that make you fat?" That made me mad so I just said no and walked around her. We have a screwed up dynamic in my family. With 2 narcissists it's impossible not to. My older sister is the golden child of the family, and can do nothing wrong. She has gained a lot of weight recently I'm sure bc of stress, no one said anything to her about her weight issues. Everyone converged on me (the scapegoat since birth, can't do anything right) about how fat and disgusting I am. My father is a plastic Surgeon and he has been saying mean things to me about my weight my entire life along with his mother. He told me I embarrassed him because I looked so bummy and fat, that no one would ever live me until I lost 40 pounds (when I weighed 135 in high school and was not fat, granted I believed him at the time) ok pity party over. I guess my point is, you are not alone. I feel for you, and i hope that we can both move past the pain and love ourselves the way we have always deserved to be loved by a parent.
|
