I have tried sites like this before and never get good results, so hopefully this time it's different because I REALLY need help before I break. I'll even bold key points so you can skim my story and not just ignore it and not say anything.
I am 21 years old, almost 22, and weigh 210 lbs (size 16-18). The last time I stepped on the scale was a few months ago and I was right at 200. Since then I have really worked on what I ate and I regularly work out since I am a high school coach. I thought I was doing good and then I realized I GAINED weight. So for the past week I've eaten no junk food, stayed under myfitnesspal calorie intake (which is 1600 ish) and have only drank water. Yet I'm already losing it.
Backtrack to a few years ago... I was about 140 lbs, hot at ****, a size 3-5, and anorexic. It is taking ever ounce of will power I have to keep trying to eat like a normal human. I am literally crying as I write this. They push you so hard to get healthy and start eating and then you gain 60 lbs and can't get rid of it to save your life. I went to the doctor about my weight gain and ran some test, told me I was fine, and to stop pigging out and to work out more. I was mortified! I don't eat unhealthy, I don't eat a lot, I work out like a mad woman. I don't know what to do!
If doctor's can't help me I'm hoping some ideas from women already working on weight loss may help me. I'm so depressed and about to break. My husband loves me the way I am so he's no help either. He eats junk and pasta all day every day and still wears a 30/32 and never gains an ounce. He doesn't understand.
I am really battling a relapse with my eating disorder and I've been so good for 3 years. I really just need some guidance. Heck, I'm even going to attach picture so you can understand why I'm so frustrated! I only have one decent, recent picture of myself because I avoid cameras like the plague. Please help.40596_422332623849_2000631_n.jpg
I'm sorry, I don't know what to say since I'm at the beginning of my journey as well, but wanted to let you know that you're being heard. Take a deep breath and try not to panic.
Remember, there is a lot of gray area between living on junk food and pasta and being anorexic. You just need to find the balance where you're able to eat healthy AND lose weight, but also you need to give the process a chance to work. If eating a healthy 1600 calories a day and working out every day doesn't work then bring the calories down to 1500 and try that. You'll find the balance.
Hang in there
I guess I didn't mention how I'm eating, just how much. I was in a bit of a panic mode but I've since tried to calm down and talked to my wonderful sister.
Anyway, I normally start my morning with either fresh fruit or a protein bar if I'm in a hurry and I grab a bottle of water when I head to work. I teach so I can't really snack throughout my day. For lunch I try to have a salad (lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, and sometimes black beans) and for dinner I eat with my family so it's normally some kind of lean meat with vegetables on the side. I have some vitamin deficiencies I can't control with supplements so I can't completely cut out certain foods like steak and fish but I do eat them in moderation. If I do feel the need to snack I choose fruits typically or a small bit of something with protein. I avoid sugars and pasta and don't eat any fast food anymore. I think I'm eating healthy, but maybe I'm missing something?
You need a different doctor, because if you are eating what you say & exercising you have an underlying problem. Have your doctor check all your thyroid hormones, not just TSH, check T3, T4 & free T3 & T4. I would also have your adrenals checked. There is NO WAY you shouldn't be at an ideal weight eating like you stated, especially at your age. It is different for us older post - meno woman, plus I am hypothyroid. Good luck to you.
Were you under a doctors supervision when you were anorexic? Does your current doctor know of your previous medical condition? I think you need to go back to an eating disorder specialist to help you.
I second what Summersweety said. You deserve a doctor that is not dismissive and rude. Your doctor should be a part of your support system. He or she should make you feel heard, and NOT make you feel rushed or belittled.
Find an eating disorder specialist. Don't do this alone. Going to one doesn't mean you're relapsing back into an anorexic pattern; it means you're being proactive and preventing that.
under anorexia nervosa (diagnostic code 307.1) and Bulimia nervosa, code 307.51.
If you search these on the Web along with the term DSM you will find out what the medical community thinks.
The DSM-V may have more recent info but it may not yet be online.
Just mentioning these books may make you more credible to your physician.
You could also try the reference section of your local library, almost certainly they have some edition of this book, and with the Internet you've got your own medical dictionary.
Some doctors don't know anything about how to treat patients with eating disorders. My current primary care physician is really ignorant about nutrition and eating disorders. I literally don't listen to anything she has to say on the subject because what she recommends for someone with my history is insane. Find a doctor that has experience with eating disorders. Do some research. There is a lot of misinformation out there on the internet. You may need to see a nutritionist who can show you how to make healthy and sensible choices for yourself. Just remember that you aren't alone.
If your doctor is a general practitioner, it could be that he or she lacks the skillset to treat eating disorders. I'd second the suggestions to get someone who specializes in disordered eating. They may also recommend a therapist, nutritionist, or endocrinologist.
I know it might not seem like it, but it's helpful that your husband loves your body no matter what. I'm sure that he loves your mind too, and if he's helped to understand that it is your mind that's suffering most, he may be better able to offer the support you're looking for. It's very hard for people who haven't either suffered with disordered eating or studied it to understand how little it actually has to do with what's happening with your body.
I'm glad to hear your sister is a help, too. You sound like you have a great support system in your personal life. Now you need a good medical support system.
I understand battling an eating disorder, mine is a bit different, but either way it's a mental mind game you play with yourself...and no matter what anyone says, maybe a counselor or pastor or someone might help? Sometimes we need a trained professional to help us through our tough times...
Thank you for your input everyone, I really appreciate any and every suggestion. The one thing I struggle with finding a new doctor is location. I live in a small town and the next average size town from me is over 2 hours away. I work every day of the week currently so I don't have much time to make a special trip. I'll definitely look in to trying to find someone anywhere close to me that specializes in eating disorders if you think that would help though. I've had my thyroid levels checked twice but I think that's all they looked at.
Other than medical attention, does anyone have any other suggestions for me? Like a different work-out routine, foods to try, or any supplements that may help at all? Currently I ride a bike, at least a couple miles every few days, I have a hardcore practice at the school three days a week where I really work with cardio and my arm strength (I coach color guard so I constantly have a weighted pole in my hands), zumba and other dvds, and when my pool warms back up I swim a lot.
Thank you for your input everyone, I really appreciate any and every suggestion. The one thing I struggle with finding a new doctor is location. I live in a small town and the next average size town from me is over 2 hours away. I work every day of the week currently so I don't have much time to make a special trip. I'll definitely look in to trying to find someone anywhere close to me that specializes in eating disorders if you think that would help though. I've had my thyroid levels checked twice but I think that's all they looked at.
Other than medical attention, does anyone have any other suggestions for me? Like a different work-out routine, foods to try, or any supplements that may help at all? Currently I ride a bike, at least a couple miles every few days, I have a hardcore practice at the school three days a week where I really work with cardio and my arm strength (I coach color guard so I constantly have a weighted pole in my hands), zumba and other dvds, and when my pool warms back up I swim a lot.
In sorry, an eating disorder cannot be fixed with a diet or an exercise program. It took me a long time to figure that out and I hate to see anyone struggle with this. It is possible to rehabilitate but it requires rebuilding a normal healthy relationship with food and diets do the opposite. I am confident now that I am on my road to recovery with the help of a nutritional therapist who specializes in intuitive eating. In only 2 months time I've been able to stop my binges and lower my anxiety around food. It can be done, Zumba is great and you should be enjoying it. But it will not fix and eating disorder.
I agree with Wannabeskinny that an eating disorder can't be managed with a diet or exercise program. i have battled compulsive overeating and restricting (as well as some anorexia at one point) for the last few decades and nothing has helped me long term. I've tried calorie counting, intermittent fasting, low carb, Atkins, vegan, vegetarian, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, gyms, personal trainers and on and on and on. Everything would work for a while but I would lose and regain the same 50-70 lbs. more times than I can remember.
I just started something new and I think I've finally figured out that it will help me, but since I"m so new to it, I'm hesitant to make a recommendation but I can't keep it to myself, so take it with a grain of salt.
I joined OA (overeaters anonymous) which is for anyone with any eating disorder. You don't even have to attend meetings...you can listen and participate by phone or online. I have a sponsor as well.
Here's what I avoid: Flour and sugar. They're like alcohol for me (if I was an alcoholic).
I don't snack. I eat three solid meals a day and that's it. That was the hardest part for me but it has been a miracle for now. People used to eat 3 square meals a day and that was normal in the 1950's. Now, everyone is snacking and I can see why but it's a triggor for me.
I plan my meals in advance which takes the guess work out.
I never thought I could follow this type of eating. Never in my life, but I was at what some might consider "rock bottom." I was very tired of having this addiction and nobody understanding my situation.
I know how it is to be so depressed and miserable in your own body. I know how it is to think of food as a friend and an enemy which I fear. I know how scary the future feels when there's so much adversity.
I just thought I'd post this in case it helps you or anyone else.
I would highly suggest you find a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. I spent 10 years struggling with anorexia and bulimia till I finally was sent to a treatment program. After treatment I gained a lot of weight and got up to 200lbs and have managed to take it off and am now at a healthy weight. It is my experience that ED's are never completely cured, just managed and it really is a life long struggle. Through constant self monitoring, therapy, and having my family and friends watch me closely and monitor me I have not completely relapsed while on this journey. There are days I fail though and will have mini relapses but with constant monitoring I have not had to go back to treatment.
I really don't think eating disorders can be conquered alone. Aside from finding a therapist I would also suggest meeting with a dietician. The nutrition classes and learning what happens to my body from my ED has been a major motivating factor to not relapse.
PS-Because you're so close to relapse and I understand very really what your going through, I don't really want to give you weight loss advice, and if you really are relapsing it might not be a good idea to join a site such as this at this moment since it might be triggering.
Starting eating normal back in 2011, I was at about 140 lbs at that time. I packed on a good 30-40 lbs right off the bat without eating anything crazy. Then it got to the point where I was really stressed, newly married, my husband lost his job, big move, ect and I started to eat what ever I wanted. That helped me pack on another 20 lbs which I maintained for almost a year at 190-200 lbs. I haven't lapsed back in to my anorexic habits since 2011, so I was over it for a long time. I just can't stand the weight I'm at any longer.
I've been really focusing on what I eat and how much I work out since this past August. These last few months are when I gained the ten random pounds and they're the most frustrating of all. I'm at the point where I'm afraid to eat anything but I force myself to because I know I need it. It's like.... I get hungry but I don't want to eat so I distract myself with exercise or school work. It makes me completely forget that I was ever hungry. It's the closest I've come to a relapse in years and it's really scary for me because I've been doing so well.
I'm hoping if I can find a good weight loss program I'll be okay again. I just need to lose that ten pounds so I can get my motivation back! So far I've lost 2, which is a start but still. I feel lost.
Having a meltdown. Need help.
