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Impatient: When will others notice?

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Old 03-31-2014, 11:31 AM   #1
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Default Impatient: When will others notice?

I am very pleased with my weight loss so far. I see such a difference in myself physically, mentally and energy wise. I don't feel sick and my arthritis pain has gone way down.
My husband notices it too.
I know I am doing this for me, I have lost 29.6 lbs since Feb 26, 2014.

So when will others notice?

If I am wondering this then it must be important but I don't know why it matters.
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Old 03-31-2014, 11:42 AM   #2
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You don't know that others haven't noticed. You only know that they haven't said anything. Remember that weight is something of a taboo and touchy subject. People might not comment on your weight loss when they first notice it, for fear of offending you or of broaching an inappropriate subject.

Also it's just not that easy to tell, always. Someone might think you look good, or a little different, but not be able to put their finger on why. Haircut? New glasses? Different makeup?

I started at similar stats to yours and I will tell you this: When I got to about 75 pounds lost, it was like a switch flipped - I suddenly looked VERY different. Up until then, the changes just weren't that drastic externally, and I was wearing the same baggy clothes so who could see anything? Here's a story for you: Back when I had lost about 55 pounds, I went out to lunch with my colleagues at work. We went to some mall chain Chinese place and I ordered steamed chicken and vegetables. There was a fellow in the group who had lost a bunch of weight and was looking very trim. He also didn't order much, and this sparked a conversation about how great he looked. Turned out he had also lost 55 pounds! Folks were positively gushing over him, and I sat there feeling like a lump of chopped liver. Not one person had commented on my weight loss to date, and here was my entire group fawning over this dude who had lost pound for pound the same as me. But I had more to lose than he did, and I carried my weight in ample curves under baggy sweaters. The loss really did just show more on him.

So don't be discouraged if people don't say anything. It doesn't mean they haven't noticed, and it definitely doesn't mean the changes you are making to yourself are making no difference. Please try to have a little patience.
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Old 03-31-2014, 12:21 PM   #3
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Thanks Carter,
I think you are right, that they may notice something is different but not exactly what and weight loss is touchy, probably more for women.
I think if I had been the one at the restaurant I would have had a really hard time with that too.

For all of us, whether we have a lot to lose or a little, it takes a lot of effort, will power, motivation and determination. I think just knowing that we are making healthy changes for ourselves says a lot about us as individuals.
I will keep on and do my best to be patient. I will also keep doing my little happy dance because I am so happy that I finally made the decision to seriously do something about my weight and health.

It really inspires me to read about other's experiences, journeys and successes.

I really like what you have in your signature line:
"Make the best choice I can make, with every choice. Remember that the temptation in front of me is not the last of its kind that I will ever see; say "I'll pass today." Say "no!" to my whiny inner five-year-old."
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Old 03-31-2014, 01:41 PM   #4
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In any serious numbers below 200lbs at the earliest.

Then they will be like flies.

And you'll wish they never noticed.
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Old 03-31-2014, 02:43 PM   #5
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Whew! I thought I was Rockin and Rollin with my loss but you've got me beat! I started Feb 20th and am down 25 lbs. Like you, I feel much better, however nobody has noticed and to be honest, I don't see it either. My wedding ring is looser and my bra cup is bigger, but that's it. We are similar sizes so I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I am happy with my progress and like my plan of action, but would love to hear what you are doing. I calorie count and exercise 45 minutes a day 5 days a week.
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Old 03-31-2014, 02:50 PM   #6
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I think for me it was at about 20% of my starting body weight lost.

Some people love when others notice. I am not one of those people. I'd rather no one noticed a thing until I was done losing weight. If people see you lose a lot of weight, they feel entitled to talk about it all the time to you, or even beg you to stop (which throws me off when it's someone I love who doesn't get that for my health I need to lose weight). It's very disconcerting.
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Old 03-31-2014, 03:40 PM   #7
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First of all, who cares? Do YOU notice? That's what is important.

But looking at your stats, I would guess when you start to reach 200, people are going to notice big time.
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Old 03-31-2014, 04:17 PM   #8
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Hi, I just read your post and I started out at same weight as you. I have lost 74 pounds in 13 months. Some people noticed at 38 pounds. Others noticed around 50 pounds. It's funny though this weekend I saw family I hadn't seen in 4 months and some mentioned my weight loss and some didn't. Like some one said weight is a touchy subject and they might now want to say anything because then it may come across as you didn't look good before . Nor they just feel uncomfortable commenting on weight. I felt the same way as you though at the beginning and thought when will someone notice. In will tell you I have had one of the clerks at the grocery store mention my weight loss, I had someone stop me while I was walking and mention my weigh loss, I have had people who work at hair salon I go to mention my weight loss. They will eventually notice it.

Best of luck to you and keep up the great work
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Old 04-01-2014, 07:09 AM   #9
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I know how you feel. I just posted about the same thing about a week ago. I know the weight is coming off but I feel like it really isn't for whatever reason and then when you add in that nobody says anything, well that makes me really feel like nothing is happening. I agree that weight is a sensitive issue so I probably would not say anything to someone unless I saw an amazing loss to make sure that I didn't step on any toes.

I don't rely on people saying anything to me about it, I think I just need someone to notice to make it all feel real. I know that's terrible but it's just how I feel.
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Old 04-01-2014, 02:23 PM   #10
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The last time I complimented someone on their weight loss, she told me she'd been very, very sick and was still losing weight and couldn't stop.

So unless I know someone is deliberately trying to lose weight, I keep my mouth shut.

There is a lady who works in the pharmacy department at my local grocery store & she is the sweetest thing on two feet. She was so very, very helpful when my dad was in his last days, going out of her way to get special meds that he needed. About a year ago I noticed she was losing a lot of weight, and I was so wanting to compliment her but was afraid to say anything lest her situation be similar to the one mentioned above. So I didn't, even though she looked great. I'd guesstimate she lost about 75 lbs, and she lost it QUICKLY.

She's now gained most, if not all, of it back. Again, I have no idea if this was deliberate on her part or not. But if it was, it is so sad to see her lose and then regain so much weight in such a short period of time. She is definitely overweight again - probably in the obese category.

I now wish I'd said something encouraging to her. But again, I was so gun shy because of my previous experience.

Also, the last time I dieted (in 2010) I lost 30 lbs. I'm 5'2" tall and it's what I needed to lose - brought me from overweight to normal. It was a big difference in my appearance and not a single soul ever said a word to me about it.

So there you go.
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Old 04-01-2014, 03:10 PM   #11
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I was down 75 pounds before I let anyone see, and by that I mean I stopped wearing clothes 3 sizes too big. And Ian is right. A few compliments are nice, but sometimes people get downright invasive!

Keep in mind too, that those who spend a lot of time with you or see you often may not notice. My best friend had to see a photo of me to be able to tell that I'd lost significantly. Her explanation "I didn't notice when you put on 200 pounds, so it's not shocking I didn't notice the loss". And it's true. It just didn't register.
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Old 04-01-2014, 05:22 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IanG View Post
In any serious numbers below 200lbs at the earliest.

Then they will be like flies.

And you'll wish they never noticed.
Maybe . I still enjoy the attention and am happy when folks notice, but I don't get upset when nobody says anything for a few months, either.
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Old 04-01-2014, 05:37 PM   #13
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after i lost weight, maybe 30-40 pounds, i got alot of comments like "did you cut your hair?" or "I like your new haircut" and "you colored your hair!" when in fact i did nothing at all different to my hair....i think this was their way of noticing something different about me but not being able to put their finger on it...who knows...

i've had some people ask me how i lost weight and just look SHOCKED that i actually eat better and work out LOL...

however, above all else, i DO NOT want to be noticed...i hate having people notice me, comment on me, pay attention to me, etc...if i could be invisible, i would do that...i'm not losing weight (or now, maintaining a loss but not losing more) I'm not doing this for anyone else except ME and my health/future...the absolute ONLY one that i enjoy a comment from is my husband
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Old 04-02-2014, 12:18 AM   #14
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I think a lot of the other commenters said it right, but part of it could be that you're still dressing in the same clothes you were when you were bigger - so maybe you just need to treat yourself to anew top that shows off your slimmer figure!

and while it's true, we shouldn't really care what others think of us but its always nice to hear a compliment once in a while - i totally get why you're feelingsort of miffed about this. but don't worry, it will come!
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Old 04-02-2014, 01:51 AM   #15
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Hi Everyone,
Thank you all for your responses and advice. You have helped me to put my thoughts into perspective.
In all honesty, I don't want to be the center of attention either.
I am eating differently because I want to be healthier and it really doesn't matter if others don't say anything, I notice I am getting healthier and that is what really counts.
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