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Old 03-29-2014, 06:44 PM   #1
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Default Introduction / looking for support / starting again

So, I lost 60 lbs a few years ago. I maintained for years but then starting in October I went through a series of bad stress incidents. First, I am a government worker and I came very close to losing my salary and getting furloughed (but I would still have to work) but at the last second they came to an agreement. Spurred on by that I had been looking to move for a while and I decided I really had to do it before the government went bankrupt. I offered on a townhome and got it in early November but since November until right now.. I have been working on that non stop and or, working on selling my place. I acted as my own attorney for the purchase and or / sale of my other place and just got to the point now when I have most of my stuff situated in the new home. During that time I just couldn't work out or stay on a diet. It was just non stop drama 24-7. I could hardly work. If my work hadn't been quiet... I never would have been able to get it done.

My clothing is tight. I fear I have gained about 20 lbs. Possibly more. And I know.. I know, today, or tomorrow I have to start back on again, tight, hard... but I am also frustrated and scared. I know I don't diet well when I have a whole bunch of stress related things happening and those aren't really going anyplace.

In fact they are getting worse. My boss is retiring and that means I have NO idea what my future holds at the place I work. Though I think I won't be laid off... I could end up being forced to do crap jobs for a year or more. Leading to a year or more of stress and uncertainty.

But I know I have to do it... I am doing what I can to rally my discipline but it sure is hard. I can't seem to get my mojo back. I have decided to start on Monday as work is generally easier to do.

Also I am so demoralized. The very idea that I gained this back in 6 months due to the stress, gets me scared... and demoralized that I should just give up trying.
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Last edited by Emma4545 : 03-29-2014 at 06:45 PM.
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Old 03-29-2014, 07:14 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by Emma4545 View Post
So, I lost 60 lbs a few years ago. I maintained for years but then starting in October I went through a series of bad stress incidents. First, I am a government worker and I came very close to losing my salary and getting furloughed (but I would still have to work) but at the last second they came to an agreement. Spurred on by that I had been looking to move for a while and I decided I really had to do it before the government went bankrupt. I offered on a townhome and got it in early November but since November until right now.. I have been working on that non stop and or, working on selling my place. I acted as my own attorney for the purchase and or / sale of my other place and just got to the point now when I have most of my stuff situated in the new home. During that time I just couldn't work out or stay on a diet. It was just non stop drama 24-7. I could hardly work. If my work hadn't been quiet... I never would have been able to get it done.

My clothing is tight. I fear I have gained about 20 lbs. Possibly more. And I know.. I know, today, or tomorrow I have to start back on again, tight, hard... but I am also frustrated and scared. I know I don't diet well when I have a whole bunch of stress related things happening and those aren't really going anyplace.

In fact they are getting worse. My boss is retiring and that means I have NO idea what my future holds at the place I work. Though I think I won't be laid off... I could end up being forced to do crap jobs for a year or more. Leading to a year or more of stress and uncertainty.

But I know I have to do it... I am doing what I can to rally my discipline but it sure is hard. I can't seem to get my mojo back. I have decided to start on Monday as work is generally easier to do.

Also I am so demoralized. The very idea that I gained this back in 6 months due to the stress, gets me scared... and demoralized that I should just give up trying.
Emma - it's so important NOT to panic. I understand your frustration but it sounds as if you have a very defeatist attitude and I can tell you from experience that if you start any type of weight-loss plan feeling that way from the start you are almost certain to fail - and ultimately gain even more weight.

My advice to you is to just take a deep breath and relax.

Quote:
I have decided to start on Monday as work is generally easier to do.
Boy, did this sentence scream out at me! I can't count the number of times I have decided to "start on Monday."

Which of course means that on Sunday night (maybe the whole weekend) I participated in Last Supper Eating. I probably have 10 extra pounds from that practice alone. (google Last Supper Eating Syndrome if you don't know what I'm talking about)

Twenty pounds in 6 months? That's really not as horrible as you may think it is. I know people who've put on twice that much in less time. Almost always after being on a restrictive diet.

You haven't mentioned how old you are. If you are approaching menopause that could account for some of the weight gain. If not, then yes, it is likely that stress eating has been the reason behind the weight gain.

Regardless, I fear that attempting to diet in your current frame of mind will be a monumental disaster, particularly since you mention that your stress level will not be decreasing any time soon.

Perhaps rather than dieting you could try to start out by just increasing your activity level by some form of moderate exercise, such as walking. This will not only burn some calories but should also help reduce your stress. Even 30 minutes 3 times a week can do wonders for your psyche. Alone it's not going to result in weight loss but it WILL make you feel better.

You sound almost frantic in your post. I don't see how you could possibly be successful maintaining any type of restrictive diet in your current frame of mind.

Perhaps this isn't what you want to hear, but it's the best advice I can give after reading your post.
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Old 03-30-2014, 06:02 AM   #3
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I understand your situation re stress and gaining.

But relax!!!

You are already doing so much by being here and it's only 20 pounds! It could have been much worse!

You have this under control, and the approach does not have to be all or nothing. There are always ups and downs and eventually you will come out ahead.

Like I said, forget about all or nothing, start with small changes and with changes that make you happy, like more exercise, exploring healthy foods that are yummy, allowing yourself to have foods you like but in smaller portions. Just remember that you are in control and take a deep breath when you are faced with a choice. Try to make the best choice you can most of the times and negotiate with yourself (smaller portion of a treat etc).

Good luck!
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Old 03-30-2014, 08:16 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by Emma4545 View Post
So, I lost 60 lbs a few years ago. I maintained for years but then starting in October I went through a series of bad stress incidents. First, I am a government worker and I came very close to losing my salary and getting furloughed (but I would still have to work) but at the last second they came to an agreement. Spurred on by that I had been looking to move for a while and I decided I really had to do it before the government went bankrupt. I offered on a townhome and got it in early November but since November until right now.. I have been working on that non stop and or, working on selling my place. I acted as my own attorney for the purchase and or / sale of my other place and just got to the point now when I have most of my stuff situated in the new home. During that time I just couldn't work out or stay on a diet. It was just non stop drama 24-7. I could hardly work. If my work hadn't been quiet... I never would have been able to get it done.

My clothing is tight. I fear I have gained about 20 lbs. Possibly more. And I know.. I know, today, or tomorrow I have to start back on again, tight, hard... but I am also frustrated and scared. I know I don't diet well when I have a whole bunch of stress related things happening and those aren't really going anyplace.

In fact they are getting worse. My boss is retiring and that means I have NO idea what my future holds at the place I work. Though I think I won't be laid off... I could end up being forced to do crap jobs for a year or more. Leading to a year or more of stress and uncertainty.

But I know I have to do it... I am doing what I can to rally my discipline but it sure is hard. I can't seem to get my mojo back. I have decided to start on Monday as work is generally easier to do.

Also I am so demoralized. The very idea that I gained this back in 6 months due to the stress, gets me scared... and demoralized that I should just give up trying.

The first statement I bolded is the reason why many people fail and regain. You CAN work out and eat healthy, even in stress. I find it's best not to be in denial about it, and just admit that you could have done it, you just chose not to. Perhaps you soothed with food. That is a dangerous behavior and if you don't work to stop that habit you'll probably spend your life yo-yoing. I don't say this to judge, I say it because these are behaviors I have dealt with myself and I know now how disastrous they can be. There is no shame in admitting mistakes and trying to do better.

"Monday" has a way of never showing up. It also has a way of spawning the "last supper" eating spree as someone above in this posting mentioned.

I am certain you can succeed, you know you can, you've done it before!
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Old 03-30-2014, 10:36 AM   #5
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When I read your post, I thought: Wow, how exciting, she moved to a townhome, acted as her own attorney, gets to redecorate a whole new place, and has time to look for a new job if this one doesn't pan out. I don't mean to be trite, but I'm wondering if you could try to reframe your current situation as an opportunity rather than a crisis? It could help with your attitude and mood.

Good luck and keep posting!

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Old 03-30-2014, 06:14 PM   #6
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I don't mean to be trite, but I'm wondering if you could try to reframe your current situation as an opportunity rather than a crisis? It could help with your attitude and mood.

Awww thanks... that kind of helped. Ok your right... I am going to look at it as an opportunity. It is an opportunity. Why would I completely change my entire world and then continue to eat the same?

I would say I don't know at all that I only gained 20 lbs. I am straining in my slacks and so I don't know if it is much more, I am afraid to look. I decided to simply not look and get on eating better... then maybe after a while look when I have built up momentum.

I just have to do it though... just do it.
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