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Old 03-26-2014, 10:27 AM   #16
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Excellent points. I do think there is a danger though. Weight loss and health is not like religion or music or which TV show you like best. If you are heck bent on a certain way and it is just physically wrong, then you are going to be met with frustration and failure time and time again.

I hope everyone finds their way to success. But while you can like any type of music you like. You cannot, necessarily, find success with your 'preferred' approach to losing weight and getting healthy. A successful approach may be what worked for me, as just one example, or certainly may not. Someone may do awful on my approach.

I didn't necessarily want to do what I am doing. But I did want to do what worked and made me feel vibrant, healthy, and that is what I found and why I a continue to do it.
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Old 03-26-2014, 11:27 AM   #17
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I try to always be careful to say "This works for me, but I can point you to about 16000 others who can tell you why something else works". If I forget to add that, I do mean it in spirit. Usually if I'm providing a "fact" I'll try to link to the evidence I'm using to back it up.

Lately though, I've heard my way of eating called "fringe" "zealotry" and I've even seen it compared to being a fictional video character, implying that no one in the real world would eat that way, it's only talked about on message boards. Come on. That's not helpful or even relevant on a "Support" board. A lot of this sort of thing seems to stem from a ridiculous defensiveness about one's way of eating, which usually stems from being ragged on about it. See? Vicious cycle. Live and let live you guys! No one is telling you that you're a lousy human being if IE/KETO/WW/3 pancakes a day works for you!

I do agree with Locke, I think that a lot of these new posters want to hear about your experience, and struggles, not have your pet set of facts thrown in their face as if you're the supreme diet diety.

If they ask about diet soda, tell them how it does or doesn't affect you. If they ask about exercise, tell them what you like to do. They're all capable of googling the rest.
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Old 03-26-2014, 11:30 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by time2lose View Post
I understand what Locke is saying and agree with her for the most part. In real life I also think that people should be polite and show tolerance to each other. But that often is not the case.

People feel passionate about what works for them. Especially if they have struggled for a long time and found something that eliminates that struggle.

As for agreeing on facts, the experts can not agree on the facts. For example, there is Dr Eric Westman (an MD) from Duke who says that low carb is the best way to lose weight. Then there is Dr. T. Colin Campbell (PhD) who advocates almost the opposite with a low-fat, whole foods, vegan (plant-based) diet. Both men have excellent credentials and have studies that back what they say. However, I think that it would be impossible to meld their opinions into one diet.

If the experts can't agree, how can we?

I really do think that it would be best to be polite but think that, for many people, it is just not their personality in real life or in an online forum. We have to take the bad with the good. I did not appreciate one person telling me in a post that what my doctor told me was "wrong". I thought that was pretty arrogant but I just dismissed their post and did not argue. I was not going to take a stranger's advice from an online forum over my doctor's advice. But there was no point in arguing.

As long as people feel strongly about their point of view, there is going to be some amount of argument. I actually think that it is a sign of an active forum. I would much rather see argument than have a dead forum. Our moderators do a good job of stopping a thread when they see it getting out of control.

Thank you, moderators!
Yes to this post. People who are willing to enter a forum called "3 Fat Chicks" have already demonstrated tolerance for stretching our envelopes of agreeability.

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Old 03-26-2014, 11:39 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by Radiojane View Post
I try to always be careful to say "This works for me, but I can point you to about 16000 others who can tell you why something else works". If I forget to add that, I do mean it in spirit. Usually if I'm providing a "fact" I'll try to link to the evidence I'm using to back it up.

Lately though, I've heard my way of eating called "fringe" "zealotry" and I've even seen it compared to being a fictional video character, implying that no one in the real world would eat that way, it's only talked about on message boards. Come on. That's not helpful or even relevant on a "Support" board. A lot of this sort of thing seems to stem from a ridiculous defensiveness about one's way of eating, which usually stems from being ragged on about it. See? Vicious cycle. Live and let live you guys! No one is telling you that you're a lousy human being if IE/KETO/WW/3 pancakes a day works for you!

I do agree with Locke, I think that a lot of these new posters want to hear about your experience, and struggles, not have your pet set of facts thrown in their face as if you're the supreme diet diety.

If they ask about diet soda, tell them how it does or doesn't affect you. If they ask about exercise, tell them what you like to do. They're all capable of googling the rest.
"Like"
I have to admit I was miffed when I saw someone refer to low carb folks (like me) as freakazoids. that said, I enjoy the diverse ways of approaching the problems we have in common that bring us to this forum. I've been steered to incredibly useful books and articles from 3FC posters.

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Old 03-26-2014, 11:42 AM   #20
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Like mars735's "Like" - Wouldn't a "like" button here be great?
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Old 03-26-2014, 01:28 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mars735 View Post
"Like"
I have to admit I was miffed when I saw someone refer to low carb folks (like me) as freakazoids. that said, I enjoy the diverse ways of approaching the problems we have in common that bring us to this forum. I've been steered to incredibly useful books and articles from 3FC posters.
I don't know if the specific post but for someone who successfully incorporates carbs into their weight loss methods, I can see them thinking low carbers are freakazoids in a playful manner. Online communication isn't perfect and someone may take something some way when it really isn't meant that way.

Having said that, Weight Loss Support is a general area for supporting the weight loss of our individual members who post here. There are specific areas for specific groups such as the carb counter forum and subforums for low carbers. Generally, the view is that we ask users to not criticize specific diets within their specific subforums (like don't go into the carb counters subforums and say low carb is wrong). We do ask people respect that being a general forum, people may follow a method you personally don't agree with but that is ok. Be supportive and find common areas. If you criticize a diet method, you can while being respectful but also don't turn every post you have in the forum about a criticism of that particular method because that isn't support.

That is long winded but basically, we ask users to respect one another.
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Old 03-26-2014, 01:37 PM   #22
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Newbie here. The debates I've seen so far have been very informative, IMO. Healthy, actually. People seem to present the information they have, and others reply in with well-worded responses of disagreement with the info to back it up. I appreciate healthy debate, and I've learned a lot from these kinds of posts so far.

I do agree it's important to remind each other that what works for one person won't work for the other, but it's also important to discuss, debate, and back up information with well-documented facts as much as possible, so that we can all more forward with our personal weight-loss goals in the most educated way.

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Old 03-26-2014, 01:58 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nonameslob View Post
Newbie here. The debates I've seen so far have been very informative, IMO. Healthy, actually. People seem to present the information they have, and others reply in with well-worded responses of disagreement with the info to back it up. I appreciate healthy debate, and I've learned a lot from these kinds of posts so far.

I do agree it's important to remind each other that what works for one person won't work for the other, but it's also important to discuss, debate, and back up information with well-documented facts as much as possible, so that we can all more forward with our personal weight-loss goals in the most educated way.
I absolutely agree with you that debate is essential- it's how we learn from one another. I for one LOVE debating people on all sorts of subjects. I think it's entirely appropriate to have debates in certain threads about low carb vs. low fat eating styles. Then we can lob all the scientific studies we want at each other and really go at it. What my post was addressing is the derailing of certain threads into a fight about these things.

There have been some lovely comments on this thread- thank you all for contributing to the discussion.
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Old 03-26-2014, 03:18 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mars735 View Post
"Like"
I have to admit I was miffed when I saw someone refer to low carb folks (like me) as freakazoids. that said, I enjoy the diverse ways of approaching the problems we have in common that bring us to this forum. I've been steered to incredibly useful books and articles from 3FC posters.
Don't even get me started on the low carb bashing. But point out the religious tendencies of other diets, especially those that moralize and make ethical one's food choices, and you're mean all of the sudden. Point out endocrinology, especially where it may disagree with bro science, and you're a total heretic.

Where the sticking points come, and agreeing to disagree, is acknowledging the spectrum of nutritional options for omnivores, and that a reasonably healthy and active younger male just isn't functioning the same as a post-menopausal, PCOS stricken female. Or even that same female twenty years younger.

I do think community members need to develop a thicker skin and stronger BS detectors, but that applies to the whole of the Internet . Too many people take personal and take offense over things needlessly, and I know I've been guilty of that, too. Don't let one bozo on a message board dictate your view of self. And if you know your plan works for your body, then that's all there is to it. I do recommend a bit of research and some sources before you start recommending your personal plan to others though
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Old 03-26-2014, 03:42 PM   #25
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And don't forget the "ignore" option. As a MOD, I should not use it but sometimes to do just to get a break from proselytising.

(Hmmm - spellcheck doesn't like that word. Is there an American spelling?)
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Old 03-26-2014, 04:00 PM   #26
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Maybe NAm English wants a 'z', Ruth.

Talking of 'z', I love that word 'bozo' that Taryl (Arctic Mama) just used.

Don't let one bozo on a message board dictate your view of self. So wise.
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Old 03-26-2014, 04:24 PM   #27
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Well this isn't helpful but i have to agree with what EVERYONE has said, i'd only add that when it turns to zealousness which can be by definition, judgemental, then the board becomes tedious. But.. you can always just choose to brush it off.

Having taken a hiatus from another message board (not about weight loss), the infighting and snark on this board P A L E S in comparison. This board is actually refreshing and it's good to have debate so long as one is respectful that there are MANY ROADS to the end goal of weight loss (whether one is doing it "correctly" or not)
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Old 03-26-2014, 05:31 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by diamondgeog View Post
If you are heck bent on a certain way and it is just physically wrong, then you are going to be met with frustration and failure time and time again.
I agree with you in principle. Some notions are just wrong (e.g., you can lose weight by eating clean, no matter how many calories you consume). Just bear in mind that the approach you consider "physically wrong" (i.e., high carb, moderate portions, "mostly healthy" but nothing off-limits) has been successful for me time and time again, and leaves me feeling clear-headed and energetic.

F.
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Old 03-26-2014, 05:38 PM   #29
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I agree that this place is low-drama compared to many other corners of the Internet. Also, I'm a very big fan of well-chosen deployment of the ignore button. Factually incorrect info should be corrected - but when the issue is repeat zealotry, that little button can do so much for sanity's sake without having to derail whole threads.
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Old 03-26-2014, 05:58 PM   #30
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Freelance I am glad you brought that up. You probably aren't insulin sensitive. If you were and eating moderate/high carbs you would be putting yourself in a lot of danger for metabolic syndrome.

So within someone's particular metabolism and genes and how their body is functioning, e.g. mine because of my choices and genes was producing too much insulin, certain approaches were more appropriate for health.

I don't want to be overly dramatic, but given my family diabetes history I either would have died or had severe health complications with any other approach.

But no one else has the exact same combo I do. So in a way we are saying the same thing. Since I am insulin sensitive I virtually 'had to' go low carb.

If you aren't as insulin sensitive you have more leeway with carbs. For instance I seem to have less than Gary Taubes who says one apple can really impact him. But more sensitive than you most likely. Or for sure when I was eating my previous way.
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