[jayavery]

Originally Posted by Claygirl1518

I'm with you guys. I lost about 30 lbs before I got married. 196 to 165. I still wanted to lose weight (bc I'm not very good about loving myself as is). When I look at pics of myself from college, I see the me I want to be again (and I'm very angry with myself that I used to think I was fat). When I was younger I always thought I was far because that's what my family always told me. My father is a plastic surgeon and is very critical. Back in HS I weighed 135 which was small for my curvy body, and he told me no one would love me until I lost 40 lbs. those comments about my weight have really affected my self worth, and to worst thing is that I judge myself based on my weight. I know it's not right, but when I look in the mirror i hate what I see, fat! I try to focus in on the parts of myself I do like, and that this is something I can change about myself if it make me unhappy.

Over the past year I have had the worst job of my life. My boss was a monster who tormented me and I.. ate. I feel like everything I do has no affect on my weight if I try, and I might as well eat what I want. My husband is in the national guard, very fit, and has an exercise discipline gene I just... Don't seem to have. I hate exercising! I feel like his fat wife, and like he can do so much better than me. I feel bad every time we go out together. This weight I have put on is affecting our life together, my mental health, and my physical health. I want to change, but I haven't yet. I'm not sure what I need yet, but I'm soul searching myself for answers, and all these great forums!

Claygirl private message me. I have been where you are! Especially with thoughts and mental health attitude in the marriage.

[AlyssaFit4life]

Hi ladies,

I wasnt fat shaming myself, I just felt embarassed to look at myself, since then I have honestly (as weird as this sounds) sat down and spoke to myself about where I am , how I got there, and what I can do to change it) and I feel so much better.

Still unhappy with how I look, but I know I can change and how I can make myself happy.

I read a few quotes I fell in love with:

"One year from now, you'll be glad you started today"

Is the one that keeps me going xoxo thank you all for your kind words and support, it means so much more than words can say!

[shcirerf]

Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny

Firstly, shame on you for saying such awful things to yourself. If you saw that picture of your friend would you say those things to her? Or even about her behind her back? Do you think that if you did say those cruel things to her that it would motivate her in any way? How cruel of you to speak to yourself that way when you should be your own best friend?

What would you say to your closest friend/sister to motivate her instead? Starting off with so much negativity never did anyone any good, ever! People are motivated by teachers who believe in them, they are motivated by people who love them and encourage them and support them. You have to be all of those people to yourself.

Secondly, been there, have said all those things to myself daily, multiple times a day, every time I looked in the mirror and you know what? It never motivated me to become any better. The only thing it's motivated me to do is to kick that b**** who talks to me like that out the door and replace her with a new kinder self.

^this^ the best advice ever!

[nibog]

Mirrors can be terrifying - mostly because they show us what we had been trying to hide from ourselves. You have the drive - just make sure you go in the right direction. Starving yourself can lead to health complications which is the last thing you want to do to yourself.