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Old 03-01-2014, 09:36 PM   #1
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Hi er-body,
I'm a 50 year old woman trying to lose weight for the 500th time. I feel like I have run out of time for messing around as I have the dreaded "metabolic syndrome" thing happening. That's right High Blood pressure, Pre-diabetes, High bad cholesterol, morbid obesity. I smoke cigarettes and I never exercise on purpose.

I spent my youth wanting to be slim and sexy, I have lost up to 100lbs before with Low Carb WOE. I've tried a crap ton of diets ( I'm sure none of this is new to a lot of folks here.) Now my goals have NOTHING to do with thin or sexy. I don't want to have a stroke or heart attack. Wah wah wah.

Here's the griping and complaining. This is the hardest thing I have undertaken ever. (Besides trying to be smoke free!) While I am doing well, I am finding it hard to be happy about it or positive every minute. I feel shaky about all this and I don't even trust myself at all to keep going. Food was my BEST PAL! I miss it and the relief I got from it almost instantly.

All this water drinking, exercising, counting, HYPER-vigilance feels well... difficult still. And, I never seem to get any emotional relief from exercising, even it feels stressful and like a lot of work. I hate my scale. Its been almost 60 days for me.

So thanks for letting me vent. I didn't want to gripe and complain to people face to face cause I'm not really looking for strokes or encouragement but I had to admit to someone that this still sucks for me. But, time has run out for me NOT TO CHANGE, so that is what I'm doing. I do feel a little guilty about being sooooooo negative though.
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Old 03-01-2014, 10:07 PM   #2
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Vent away! It is hard and frustrating. I don't generally get any exercise highs either.

I'd say keep trying different stuff though, you never know when you might find one that you enjoy. Last summer I suprised myself by finding that 1) I did have enough upper body strength and stamina to canoe and do quite well at it -- and I tried paddleboarding, and loved it! These are not things I can do all the time, but I do enjoy them and look forward to doing them again. I will keep trying new things too -- maybe I'll find a couple more. I wish I could love running or aerobics, but I just don't. I used to love yoga and pilates (12 years ago!) and I'm trying to rekindle that romance now. You can find lots of free instruction on almost any type of exercise on youtube, if there is something you're curious about.

If you can find a few activities you'll enjoy it might make it a little more pleasant
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Old 03-02-2014, 12:10 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by miniapplecocoa View Post
All this water drinking, exercising, counting, HYPER-vigilance feels well... difficult still.
I wonder if you're making things more complicated than they need to be. For example, I've always let thirst dictate my fluid intake and I almost never drink plain water, for the simple reason that I don't enjoy it as much as other beverages. My beverages of choices are coffee, tea, wine at dinner, and (when at the gym) sparkling water with a flavour enhancer like Mio. The admonition to drink X amount of plain water per day has very little basis in science.

Hypervigilance about food is also unnecessary. Once you develop a repertoire of on-plan menus, you don't need to weigh or measure anything. I certainly didn't. Even my calorie counting was loose as best when I was losing weight.

As far as exercise is concerned, I suggest you stick with it until you find some kind of groove. Exercise has never given me a true "high" and it certainly doesn't give me extra energy. On the contrary, it unfailingly makes me more tired: on the days I work out, I always require an afternoon nap. That said, I've come to enjoy exercise on some level and look forward to going to the gym. It seems to help me manage stress and anxiety, at least in the short term, and the movement has started to feel good. You may never love it, but there's every chance you'll get beyond disliking it.

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Old 03-02-2014, 01:29 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by miniapplecocoa View Post
Hi er-body,


All this water drinking, exercising, counting, HYPER-vigilance feels well... difficult still. And, I never seem to get any emotional relief from exercising, even it feels stressful and like a lot of work. I hate my scale.
I think it is difficult. I struggle with it at times also. I do think that one thing that helps is to keep trying some different things until you find what clicks for you.

I enjoy reading books about weight loss because I tend to take info from lots of sources. I'm reading a book called The Flex Diet by James Beckerman where he gives 200 different solutions to help with weight loss. Basically he gives various ideas. Different ones will work for different people. I sort of like that.

I personally like doing all the counting (I know, I'm weird). I like quantifying and graphing and charting and all that stuff. But, I know it isn't for everyone. For example, my husband has lost 65 pounds and is 4 pounds away from his goal weight. And he doesn't do much of that. He does go to WW with me and he roughly tracks his points in his head, but it is really rough. He just doesn't have the interest or patience to count and record online every bite he takes.

What has helped him is to simplify what he eats. That is, he has the same breakfast every day (oatmeal with Greek yogurt and fresh fruit). So, he doesn't have to do much counting or recording because he knows that works for him. Same thing for snacks. He has several specific snacks that he knows works for him (1 oz. of dark chocolate, or a tortilla with 2 T. of hummus). He has a few lunches that he rotates. We don't buy foods for the house that make it hard for us to eat. No ice cream, no chips, no cookies, for example. All of this makes it easier.

As for exercise - I would say to keep trying some different things. For years, I resisted walking outside. I didn't think I would like it. I would do other things and it was OK, but always a chore. I always felt good that I had gotten it done, but I never felt exhilarated by the exercise itself. Then, one day, DH and I decided to walk outside. And, I found that I loved it. I actually did feel energized by it and it helped my mood. I'm not sure why that is, but it did. I'm not saying that is the exercise for you, just to try various things in hope you may find something like that.
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Old 03-02-2014, 05:16 AM   #5
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Hey OP! For motivation, I LOVE looking on Pinterest. It is really great for fitness motivation. I am only in my early 20s, but I have been obese all my life, and I also used to smoke. One of the main things that hindered my past attempts at weight loss was the ciggies. I loved them! However, it wasnt until I quit that I realised how they were hindering me. Long story short, I stayed with mum for a month and she wouldnt let me smoke. Like at all. I had to walk almost a km each way just to have a ciggie, and I was almost a pack a day smoker. So mum said no, so I quit, cold turkey. It was the best thing I did! I started the new year without my ciggie habit and picked up where I had left off at the gym. And wow, it was so much easier, working out without having smoked for a month or two. If you love smoking as much as I did, starting an exercise/diet plan is so much easier than quitting smoking. And continuing the exercise plan is easier once you have kicked the habit. Dont get me wrong, I am not about to criticise people for smoking, as I used to, but for me, nothing I have done so far in my life has been harder than quitting smokes cold turkey. I agree with the other posters too, try new exercises, read up on any information you feel that you are interested in or feel like you are missing when it comes to weightloss/exercise. Like someone above, I started pilates after I stopped smoking, as it gave me a good workout without making me feel like I was having a heart attack. I stopped working out for a couple of years and have recently started my journey again, and I am doing the gym and pilates, which I still love after all this time. I have also found that exercising and dieting with a friend, and posting on a forum like this is what keeps me accountable; I know that I will weigh in at the end of every month, and I have to live with the results, record them here and tell my friend, so if I dont exercise or eat properly, I wont see results, and will have to feel the embarassment of not losing weight. Its more a mental thing, losing weight. I thought I would struggle with the physical aspect of things, but the mental side is much harder. Keep the voices and fears in check and you are 80% of the way there! Anyway, I have talked too much, and I hope that you can get something of use out of the waffle I have just written if not, goodluck, please keep posting, and remember we are all here for the same reason, and everyone here is supportive and encouraging. Best wishes xx
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Old 03-02-2014, 06:37 AM   #6
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mimiapplecocoa,
This is the place to gripe and complain! Maybe we can nudge you beyond the negative. For me, one of the most important things was to make a conscious effort to stay motivated. Weight loss isn't particularly easy, in my book.

I'm in my 50s and the realities of the negative health consequences of being obese was my original catalyst. Like you, I love food, but hate to diet. So I worked on a plan that as much as possible allowed me to enjoy food while minimizing the counting etc. I really appreciate what freelance said above. You don't need to worry about water and you don't need to be ultra strict about counting if you have a system of limiting intake without counting. As for exercise... I really don't like it that much. I don't like to floss either. But I just push myself to do it. 9 months into this it is settling into lifestyle.

All the best to you on your journey.
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Old 03-02-2014, 08:31 AM   #7
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I can understand the frustration, but don't be so hard on yourself. Life is too short to hate the food that you like or to hate exercise. Focus on what you do like and trying to incorporate it into your plan.

Don't give up on liking exercise. Experiment with activities until you find the ones that you enjoy. If someone told me that I'd have to spend the rest of my life on a treadmill or doing work out videos at home I'd rather choose to be fat and sedentary because Iv'e never enjoyed those. I got out there, I tried tennis, I've tried running, I've tried dance classes and I've come to realize that I'm much more athletic than I ever believed I was! And I like it. I'm much happier going out to play tennis with a friend, the time passes quickly and joyfully. I would advise spending time with people who are more athletic than you, go hiking, go for a walk, take a tango class. We have to look beyond ourselves in order to grow and learn, push past your boundaries!

I don't know what to tell you when it comes to food. I've given up on dieting and only do intuitive eating now. It's the only way I feel comfortable because I too hate restricting myself. I've lost plenty of weight and gained it all back by dieting and I'm off that roller coaster. I eat what I want, I eat it mindfully and just praying for the best. I'm in my 30s and I don't want to spend another minute on a diet. I'm not taking any more advice from dieters, I'm listening to normal eaters now and they all say the same thing ---> eat less, move more, eat only when you're hungry, stop when you're full, and then go for a walk. I don't want to complicate it any more than that.
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Old 03-02-2014, 09:05 AM   #8
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I took a very different approach from Wannabe, but we reached the same goal: finding exercise and a way of eating that works for us individually.

In my case, my only exercise is walking. I like walking outdoors in anything resembling nice weather but I rely on the treadmill most days to get in enough steps. I choose to allow myself to only listen to music and browse the web when I'm on the treadmill (I have my laptop on my treadmill, and I'm on it now) or after I've met my steps for the day.

Like Wannabe, I've also stopped calorie counting, because I inevitably stop when I'm in maintenance. But I have not had any luck with IE. Instead, I have an eating window and I only eat between 6PM and 8:30PM (I shrunk this window down slowly, starting with 10AM to 10PM and found the window that worked best for me). It took some getting-used-to, but honestly knowing that I can eat as much as I want at some point in the day allows me to relegate thoughts of food to the back of my mind when I am outside my eating window.

In addition, I have some very personal food guidance rules, e.g. I start with raw veggies/soup (I pass the "apple test" every day by 6 PM, lol), move on to lean veg and protein (can eat all I want) very little grain, lowish carb in general, include healthy fats (yada yada yada). It takes a lot of experimentation and I am still actively tweaking the things I find I want to include and exclude in my eating rules.

I started out with my absolute priority being that I would find a lifestyle that I could sustain after the weight loss phase, and as a result (almost as a pleasant surprise), I'm NOT miserable during this weight loss phase. I have a lot of experience at being frustrated and unhappy during weight loss, but this time I really am pretty happy (though that is because of my prior experience; I am happy that I *don't* have to count/log and think about my food choices all day).
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Old 03-03-2014, 08:06 AM   #9
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Thank you everyone that replied. Wow, I tell you what feels good...Having all these wise and wonderfully smart people give me advice. This is new for me to seek support. THIS FEELS AMAZING!

Your efforts and taking time are not lost on me. I'm gonna try some new things (exercise) and lighten up a little and see if that helps.

I guess it does really help to have others hold the mirror straight so you can see yourself more clearly huh!

Thanks again.
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Old 03-03-2014, 09:23 AM   #10
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Hypervigilance about food is also unnecessary. Once you develop a repertoire of on-plan menus, you don't need to weigh or measure anything. I certainly didn't. Even my calorie counting was loose as best when I was losing weight.
I completely agree! I don't count on a daily basis, but I do have an arsenal of breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and snacks that I know fit into my meal plan. I like to prepare foods ahead (bulk cooking/freezing) but even little things like making a frittata and cutting it into 8 pieces knowing that one piece is an appropriate breakfast, for example, takes the guesswork out of it. I also know that a tortilla pizza, quesadilla, omelette, etc. are quick and healthy meals that I can throw together on a whim.

I'm not tired of counting because I'm really not. Good luck!
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Old 03-03-2014, 12:37 PM   #11
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It doesn't have to be so complicated. One of the things I love about low carb is it takes fairly minimal food logging once a set of menus has been established. I have go-zoo restaurant choices that I know are 'safe' and delicious, I have a normal breakfast and lunch menu, I rotate my dinners among a selection of recipes I love.

Google Sugar Free Sheila if you need recipes that are delicious and utterly simple, her cookbooks are great if you're not into epic cooking and counting (I keep it as simple as possible). Eat whole foods when you can - salad, pepperoni, almonds, a square of dark chocolate, hardboiled eggs, steamed green beans and bacon, etc etc. Maria Emmerich is one I'd go to if you want dozens and dozens of delicious, low carb substitutions that are on the slightly more complicated side. Again, find some staples you love and keep using them.

I concur that drinking to thirst is the best way to go. I just keep a gallon jug in the fridge and refill it every day because I like ice water and it's easy to keep track of my drinking. But if I don't consume it all I don't sweat it. Food logging has been key to my success long term but not everyone needs to track their intake to succeed. Sometimes just a basic awareness of carbs and calories can be enough.

My final best advice is to find a plan you love and stick to it. Don't hop around, tweak endlessly, try to get overly clever, etc. Keep it simple unless a true stall or other life issues forces you to make a change. Enough time and consistency will really aid in solidifying your new habits as your new normal, instead.
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Old 03-03-2014, 01:10 PM   #12
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If you think of drinking water as a chore then put that to rest for a while. I hate to think of drinking as a goal or accomplishment. Every night I full my 3 soda stream bottles with seltzer and I drink almost all of it the next day. It's a habit and you can do something similar. Put all your water in one place and drink it all by the end of the day.
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Old 03-05-2014, 12:28 AM   #13
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Hi everyone, follow-up to the follow up! Once again Thank you for your wise suggestions.

I've been doing a different type of exercise everyday and some have been fun or (funny to me) to even see myself doing it(Jillian Micheals shred- hilarious). I looked on Youtube and even investigated c5k. Now, that IS new for me.

I think my dogs think I've gone crazy. I have even been making them walk a different route and in different ways (like up and over the huge snow banks around my apt complex in Minnesota.) I think even they might be happier for it.
Oh and one more thing. I've decided to drink water when I'm thirsty rather than force it! Woo Hoo! I'm giving up on perfection.
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Old 03-05-2014, 08:17 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by miniapplecocoa View Post
Hi everyone, follow-up to the follow up! Once again Thank you for your wise suggestions.

I've been doing a different type of exercise everyday and some have been fun or (funny to me) to even see myself doing it(Jillian Micheals shred- hilarious). I looked on Youtube and even investigated c5k. Now, that IS new for me.

I think my dogs think I've gone crazy. I have even been making them walk a different route and in different ways (like up and over the huge snow banks around my apt complex in Minnesota.) I think even they might be happier for it.
Oh and one more thing. I've decided to drink water when I'm thirsty rather than force it! Woo Hoo! I'm giving up on perfection.

Good for you! I have found youtube to be great at learning new things, or finding new stretches etc.

I know this sounds weird but exercise doesn't just keep your heart and body healthy. It also helps you work out all the junk in your mind and feelings. After all "motion" is the biggest part of the word "emotion"
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Old 03-05-2014, 08:38 AM   #15
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Hi everyone, follow-up to the follow up! Once again Thank you for your wise suggestions.

I've been doing a different type of exercise everyday and some have been fun or (funny to me) to even see myself doing it(Jillian Micheals shred- hilarious). I looked on Youtube and even investigated c5k. Now, that IS new for me.

I think my dogs think I've gone crazy. I have even been making them walk a different route and in different ways (like up and over the huge snow banks around my apt complex in Minnesota.) I think even they might be happier for it.
Oh and one more thing. I've decided to drink water when I'm thirsty rather than force it! Woo Hoo! I'm giving up on perfection.
Interesting that you de-stressing and are having fun with the process. That's a step in the right direction.

You'll get a good laugh if you check out what some of the top weight loss bloggers are doing to lighten up during weight loss. Try goggling "best weight loss bloggers." And no, I haven't made this list, but maybe someday.
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