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Old 02-28-2014, 02:44 AM   #1
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Default I could really use support right now

I am just so frustrated with myself. It's been a year since I started my journey and I lost 40 lbs in 4 months, and have done NOTHING but be lazy and eat unhealthy and give up for the past 8 months. I've gained back 15 lbs.

What's worse, is my 33 year old cousin died in August from a massive heart attack from being so heavy. She was about 100 lbs bigger than me, but it's still terrifying to say the least. And yet here I am... still making excuses and not wanting to try. Why? I don't know... I don't know what to do. I do want to lose weight, and it feels so good when I exercise and to see the number lowering on the scale, to fit in clothes a size smaller than the ones I wore before... but I just have such a hard time sticking with anything.

It's beyond frustrating at this point. I just want to be a normal size and not have to shop in the plus size section, not have to hang my head in shame when I am walking through the store, wondering what people think of me or what's in my cart. I want to go to the beach this summer and not be looking around to see if I'm the biggest person there.

I could just really use support, words of encouragement, please someone tell me what to do. Tell me I can do this....
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Old 02-28-2014, 08:34 AM   #2
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Skettihead03 - I hear you, and sympathize but unfortunately no one can give you motivation. It has to come from within because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or does, all that matters is what YOU think, what YOU put in your mouth and what YOU do to improve your health.
And, look at what you've done! You lost a bunch, gained a little and now you're getting back to losing more. You CAN do it, you've already proved that. Just do it some more LOL
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Old 02-28-2014, 08:58 AM   #3
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Don 't focus on what you have gained back but focus on the net weight you have lost. What are your plan beyond a summer body? Unfortunately if our goals are seasonal or event specific we seem to tend to lose motivation after the event is over.

Focus on you and the possible health implications of gaining back the weight. Think of how much happier you are when you are a certain weight (for yourself and not for any one else). Remember that feeling every time you are tempted to go back to your old eating habits.
Good luck
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Old 02-28-2014, 09:01 AM   #4
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Skettihead03 My condolences on your loss. 33 is so young.

You can do this!
You have been here for a while and you have seen others achieve amazing results. You just need to find what works for you. Don't think it will happen overnight but know that each day counts. You may stumble but just get right back on track.
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Old 02-28-2014, 09:35 AM   #5
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Hey Sketti! I remember you. You CAN do this. You did it before and you can do it again. Commitment and motivation have to come from within yourself. Sometimes you have to fake it until you make it.

So sorry for your loss. My condolences.
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Old 02-28-2014, 09:42 AM   #6
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Welcome back, skettihead (I remembered your cute name, it always made me smile).

So sorry to hear about your cousin. {{hugs}}

It's a long story that many have read before but I will give you the short story of what motivated me. I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer after not being able to get pregnant. My excess weight was causing excess estrogen in my body that was essentially feeding the cancer. I had a choice to make at that point, do everything I could to get myself healthy, shut off the feeding of the cancer (I throw up a little inside every time I think of it) and try to have a baby....or....literally eat till I die. It wasn't an easy decision, I seriously went from one extreme to the other wanting to live or not caring if I lived. Then....something clicked inside me. I can't describe it in words, it was just an overwhelming feeling of wanting to live and kick cancer's butt and show the world how strong I could be. And here I am almost 18 months later.

Your motivation has to come from within, we can't do it for you. But we can be your cheerleaders, your diary, your sounding board, your stress reliever, your comforting shoulder. Just say the word.

If I can do this, anyone can. My life isn't perfect now, it's still a long journey and I have so many regrets. But the one thing I can finally control is my weight, food choices and exercise. And I thank God for that every day. And of course, the 3FC peeps that guided me and my amazing nutritionist who taught me how to eat and exercise. Miracles do happen, I'm living proof.
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Old 02-28-2014, 09:56 AM   #7
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ElvisLover324 Hi! I don't know how long you have been back but I remember you disappeared a while ago. I missed reading your posts. Glad to see you again!
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Old 02-28-2014, 10:14 AM   #8
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We're led to expect that weight loss should be easy if we're doing it right -- that we won't feel hungry, won't have cravings, won't find it hard to resist temptation, etc. When we discover that losing weight is actually HARD, we can easily lose our motivation.

It may be helpful to EXPECT the process to be difficult, so you'll be mentally prepared when the challenges inevitably arise. You can also develop strategies to deal with the challenges (e.g., new hobbies, healthy, lo-cal snack foods within easy reach, keeping certain foods and ingredients out of the house).

Beyond that, the reward of losing weight tends to create its own motivation. That's one reason the first couple of weeks are usually the hardest. You may need to white-knuckle it a few times after the beginning, but it should get easier after that.

Good luck and keep us posted.

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Old 02-28-2014, 10:36 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by Skettihead03 View Post
I am just so frustrated with myself. It's been a year since I started my journey and I lost 40 lbs in 4 months, and have done NOTHING but be lazy and eat unhealthy and give up for the past 8 months. I've gained back 15 lbs.

What's worse, is my 33 year old cousin died in August from a massive heart attack from being so heavy. She was about 100 lbs bigger than me, but it's still terrifying to say the least. And yet here I am... still making excuses and not wanting to try. Why? I don't know... I don't know what to do. I do want to lose weight, and it feels so good when I exercise and to see the number lowering on the scale, to fit in clothes a size smaller than the ones I wore before... but I just have such a hard time sticking with anything.

It's beyond frustrating at this point. I just want to be a normal size and not have to shop in the plus size section, not have to hang my head in shame when I am walking through the store, wondering what people think of me or what's in my cart. I want to go to the beach this summer and not be looking around to see if I'm the biggest person there.

I could just really use support, words of encouragement, please someone tell me what to do. Tell me I can do this....

I am so sorry to hear about your cousin!

As other ladies said, you must find the motivation within yourself, unfortunately. You can remind yourself with sticky notes and positive messages written on your mirrors, but motivation has to come from within you, from your own drive to change, from a true "change of heart" about the way you're facing life and the role food has in it. For some their motivation comes because they want to fit into a bikini, for some it comes because they "just" want to live longer, for others because they are plainly sick and tired of being overweight. You have to find your reasons and make them be the force that drives you through change.

Hope you can find it! Good luck!
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Last edited by Paulitens : 02-28-2014 at 10:36 AM.
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Old 02-28-2014, 11:08 AM   #10
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ElvisLover324 Hi! I don't know how long you have been back but I remember you disappeared a while ago. I missed reading your posts. Glad to see you again!
Awww thank you. I hardly post anymore unless a thread is near and dear to my heart. Too much drama in this place at times! But I'll never forget the help I received and friends I made here.
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Old 02-28-2014, 12:12 PM   #11
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Here's a quote that I look at all the time: "Motivation only gets you as far as the start, DEDICATION is what takes you to your goal." So, yep, I agree with what others have said. Don't accept excuses, find it within yourself to get back on track.

Another idea for you for support, head over to the 100 lb support club and look for the "Regainers relosing" thread. (or something like that) There are a lot of people who have slipped up and are working hard to get back on track. Lots of good ideas and support in that thread.
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Old 02-28-2014, 12:47 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Skettihead03 View Post
I am just so frustrated with myself. It's been a year since I started my journey and I lost 40 lbs in 4 months, and have done NOTHING but be lazy and eat unhealthy and give up for the past 8 months. I've gained back 15 lbs.
I'm so sorry about your cousin, what a tragic loss that is.

I know people want to legitimately take responsibility for their own actions but the way we speak to ourselves sometimes is so abusive. Can you honestly say you've done nothing at all? Have you not held down a job, been a friend to those you love, can you not think of a single thing that you've done in all this time other than hankered down and gained weight? If you're getting up out of bed every day then you're not being lazy and you know it. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Losing weight is difficult, but you shouldn't talk to yourself like that. Be kind.
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Old 02-28-2014, 02:52 PM   #13
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You have already gotten lots of good advice here. Like many have said, it has to come from within, because whatever it is that will click with you will be different for all of us. Keep visiting this forum (several times a day if necessary) to keep yourself in the mindset of staying on track. Make it a hobby, an obsession, even. Or think of it as your job; sometimes we have a job we don't particularly like but we work hard at it because of our pride and because of the reward (paycheck). Think of the pounds lost as your paycheck.

It is not easy. But it's also not necessarily difficult, once you find what works for you food-wise and exercise-wise. It takes work and dedication and diligence, but you CAN do it, I know you can.

(PS: Bookmark this thread so you can refer back to it whenever you need a lift.)
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Old 02-28-2014, 04:33 PM   #14
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Thank you all so much for the words when I needed them the most. I just had a really low point last night and what's nice, is when I don't know where to turn, I know I can turn here.

I don't think my issue is seasonal. I just go through spurts where I'm super motivated (doesn't matter what time of year) and then I start to lose my enthusiasm a little by little until I'm right back in those nasty habits. A big part of it is my fiance. He's overweight as well but he looks very proportionate. Not that it matters, as we both would like to be healthy, but I don't think he has the self conscious issues that I do.

So it's a lot easier for him to eat chinese food, or want to get pizza, etc. He is a GREAT cheerleader, don't get me wrong. He tells me I'm doing great, keep it up, I'm looking beautiful, etc. But then he has times where he insists I reward myself with food. We should get pizza, it's okay because you've been doing so well. One night won't hurt. But, it does hurt. I start with pizza, and then declare it an entire cheat day, and throw all that stuff in the cart I shouldn't be having. Now I don't know what constitutes a binger but I don't think I am one. I have more than I should but not to where I make myself sick. Like I would have 2-3 pieces of pizza, and then I'd have 2 or 3 junk food things. Like an ice cream sandwich and a handful of cookies. I don't eat the whole pack. But then that leaves leftovers for the next day, so I figure I may as well eat whats left until it's gone. Regardless, its unhealthy eating habits I want to change. I need to tell him I can't do that because it triggers my downward spirals. I may not binge, but it gets me to at least meddle in thoughts of giving up.

Elvislover324 Thank you so much for sharing your story. It really does help me in a way I can't describe. I have health issues from being heavy, mostly infertility/lack of periods and ovulation, and I just don't feel WELL most of the time. While I let this depress me and hold me back, I really should be using it as my light at the end of the tunnel. I can lose this weight, I can have more energy, I can regain my health. And I'm not going to make any more excuses, this is a promise to myself!

Slashnl Thank you for the quote. It's small things like that, that really get me thinking and excited to start again. I'm not worried about anyone else, but it would be the greatest feeling to prove to myself I have the dedication to succeed!

Wannabeskinny Thank you. Seriously. I really needed to hear that. Like I said, last night was a low point and all I could think about is what I didn't do. But you are right. I've landed an amazing job, I've been working really hard, I have kept up the house even though I work 12 hour shifts and am tired, I am a mom to our son and our furbaby. I've got to give myself credit for those things because they aren't always easy. It's just a little frustrating to look back on this year, and realize where I could be if I would have just kept up with it. Now I'm going to look to where I can be in a year, heck even a month if I just keep with it. Thank you for your kind words.

Thank you so much to all of you for the love.
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1st - 324 lbs (20 lb loss) CHECK!
2nd - 310 lbs (10% loss)
3rd - 299 lbs (Out of the 300's!)

Last edited by Skettihead03 : 02-28-2014 at 04:35 PM.
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Old 02-28-2014, 05:27 PM   #15
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Don't know of this will help but I can identify so much with those cheat days you describe. You eat one and then it spirals out of control and then you give up entirely. I've struggled with that all my adult dieting life, who hasn't. The only thing that has relieved me of that is intuitive eating, I found relief in that respect.
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