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Old 02-11-2014, 06:54 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stopquitting View Post
Also, for those of you who are losing weight

I went to this site called BMI calculator (couldnt post link it said i need more posts)

and it said my bmr was 1580.75., so do I eat this to maintain correct? and to create a deficit I eat under? How much lower should I go? Like 1200? When I measure out healthy food, I feel like I can eat more of it, than a little of the fatty stuff, so 1200 would be good? I don't like to subtract exercise calories because i dont have machines that show me how much im losing.

Please let me know what you think.
BMR is how much you would need to maintain if you lie in bed all day and never moved. I mean that literally - any lifestyle at all, even a sedentary one, burns some calories over and above your BMR.

Google TDEE (total daily energy expenditure) to find some calculators that show different estimates of how many calories you actually burn in the course of your day.

A good place to start with calorie counting is to eat AT your BMR, or alternatively at 20% below your TDEE. I recommend you do that for a couple of months, see how it feels, see how much weight you lose, and adjust from there.

Finally I strong recommend that you NOT set an expectation of losing 10 pounds by the end of this month. Some people can lose that quickly when they first start but most do not, and anyway it is out of your control. Set goals based upon your actions - a goal to eat on plan each day this month, to avoid snack cakes for the rest of this month, etc. Set action-based goals and the weight loss will follow.

Good job throwing away the snack cakes. Every time you feel the impulse to buy them, set the money aside that you would have spent on them. When you finish your first month without them you can use that money on something you want.
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Make the best choice I can make, with every choice. Remember that the temptation in front of me is not the last of its kind that I will ever see; say "I'll pass today." Say "no!" to my whiny inner five-year-old.
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Old 02-11-2014, 03:51 PM   #17
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Hi everyone!

I didn't weight myself today but so far it's lunch time, and I have not eaten any junk that I usually have by this time. I also have a big exam coming up so maybe that's why? I did use powdered creamer but i measure it and made sure to not go over 100 cals for it.

Breakfast- oat bran (2tbsls +greek yogurt) + poached egg
lunch -cofee with creamer + fish filet (made at home with olive oil +parsley) + 1 celery stick with 1.5 tbls peanut butter

so far this is 800 calories, too much? I feel very satisfied and no binging cravings at all!

I also wanted to let you guys know, I like to use the hip2save site now and then to save money on groceries. They posted an offer today for Lane Bryant, if you text MOBILE to 23705 they sent you a mobile coupon for $10 off a $10+ purchase! I feel excited to go buy something as a treat for staying on plan, maybe looking at new clothes will give me motivation? (and i'm using a coupon so it will really cheap and something small!) I would post the link but it says I'm not allowed to yet, if you girls shop there def google it and try it!

Hope everyone is doing well! I feel so great to have this thread to come on and talk to!

Does anyone hear recommended those polar ft4 watches? I've been saving my bday money from the last two years to buy clothes, but i never lost the weight, would this be a good investment? or unnecessary?

Thank you all for your responses, I read every one of them!!

Last edited by Stopquitting : 02-11-2014 at 03:52 PM.
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Old 02-11-2014, 03:54 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by carter View Post
BMR is how much you would need to maintain if you lie in bed all day and never moved. I mean that literally - any lifestyle at all, even a sedentary one, burns some calories over and above your BMR.

Google TDEE (total daily energy expenditure) to find some calculators that show different estimates of how many calories you actually burn in the course of your day.

A good place to start with calorie counting is to eat AT your BMR, or alternatively at 20% below your TDEE. I recommend you do that for a couple of months, see how it feels, see how much weight you lose, and adjust from there.

Finally I strong recommend that you NOT set an expectation of losing 10 pounds by the end of this month. Some people can lose that quickly when they first start but most do not, and anyway it is out of your control. Set goals based upon your actions - a goal to eat on plan each day this month, to avoid snack cakes for the rest of this month, etc. Set action-based goals and the weight loss will follow.

Good job throwing away the snack cakes. Every time you feel the impulse to buy them, set the money aside that you would have spent on them. When you finish your first month without them you can use that money on something you want.
That is a very smart plan!! thanks!

You're right, I should focus on trying to eat on plan each day instead, good advice, thank you!!
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Old 02-11-2014, 03:58 PM   #19
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On a rather sad note, my cousin came home to visit us last night and I was complaining about my phone about the keypad being unresponsive (when my cheek hits the touch screen the call ends because it hits the end call button) so I was telling her that my phone has probably reached its time (had it for almost 4 years now!) and she tells me "i'm sure it's you fat cheeks and not the phone's fault"....completely rude!!! I told her directly I could lose a ton of weight and still have a "fat face" it's just how my face is! she looked devastated and said sorry but ugh I feel like if I don't step up and tell people when they say stuff like this, me being silent will be accepting that kind of rude talk.

What do you guys think? I finally need to grow some tough skin i think.
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Old 02-11-2014, 05:33 PM   #20
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I was telling her that my phone has probably reached its time (had it for almost 4 years now!) and she tells me "i'm sure it's your fat cheeks and not the phone's fault"....completely rude!!!
It's not only rude, but makes no sense (even by rude logic standards). It's like saying the car isn't starting because the dog pooped on the floor.

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Old 02-11-2014, 07:44 PM   #21
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Hi Stopquitting! Welcome to the forum! I just read this thread and would like to comment.

First of all, there's not a magic answer to what will motivate you or make you feel committed to losing weight. It seems like people who successfully lose weight have a specific thing that's motivating them. Maybe something that happened, or something their doctor told them, or for whatever reason they decided enough was enough and they decided they were ready to lose the weight.

As for losing 10 pounds a month, I think that is too lofty of a goal. 10 pounds is quite a bit! It COULD happen, but I think it would be unwise to set that as your goal because if you "only" lose, say, 7 pounds, you will probably feel disappointed and discouraged and that could cause you to throw in the towel. Remember that slow and steady wins the race. You need to make long term, sustainable changes in how you eat, and that takes time to develop and adjust to. If you do manage to drop 10 pounds a month and 4 months from now are at your goal weight, but got there by completely depriving and maybe even starving yourself, you may be more likely to gain the weight back since you didn't actually develop healthy, sustainable eating habits.

A goal of maybe 5 pounds per month might be wiser because it is attainable. That would allow you to lose weight in a healthy, slower way. You may end up losing more than 5 pounds in a month and the same 7 pounds I mentioned above would then be a bonus because you lost more than you planned for. This is my approach, at least.

One last tip- I suggest finding healthy foods that you really enjoy. I've lost 30 pounds since the end of October and have not once eaten something that I don't enjoy during that time. If you don't like it, don't bother eating it, because it may make you feel unsatisfied and want to reach for less healthy choices.

Oh and I really like the idea of saving up money you would have spent on unhealthy snacks! Get yourself a jar and put the money in there. What a cool idea!

Good work on throwing out all the unhealthy foods. I think that was a good idea for you since you seem to have a difficult time resisting them. This is controversial, and doesn't work for everyone, but I personally allow myself one meal a week where I can eat whatever I want. That usually involves pasta of some sort, a drink (usually orange juice, I'm very predictable), and a cookie or a brownie or something. So far this has really worked well for me. If I really want a food I shouldn't have, I just tell myself I can have it when my free meal rolls around. Again, this is what has worked for me, I understand that having one meal a week (or a snack or whatever) where you can have whatever you want does NOT work at all for some people and it sets off extra cravings. For some people, it works best to completely cut out the foods you have problems with or that are not good choices for you. You'll have to see how it works out for you. If you wanted to try this and chose Twinkies or whatever for your dessert, you should probably just by the small package with 2 Twinkies in it that will be all gone after your free meal is over.

So all of this is completely my opinion, feel free to disregard of course!
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Old 02-11-2014, 09:14 PM   #22
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Talking New to 3 Fat Chicks Because of Stopquitting

For Stopquitting. I just joined 3 fats chicks - just now, because of you. You have motivated me. I cannot believe your lack of support & love from your family - although I totally understand it. I, myself do not get much support from my family, & I myself do not really have any friends either. I am a single Mom with kids, but, really understand where you are coming from. I have more weight to lose than you. I am a type 2 diabetic. I am on lovastatin (which I would love to be off of). Maybe we can support each other. I need support. I live in the Pacific Northwest (Oregon). Exercising is not easy for me - the weather can be cold & brutal. You should have love & support. You were right to kick those friends to the curb - they were not really friends if that is the way that they felt. Thank You for listening.
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Old 02-11-2014, 09:43 PM   #23
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You sound like such a lovely girl. I really hope that you will be able to sort this out for yourself sooner rather than later.

First off about the weight and cravings. I think you may be giving in to your cravings for two reasons. The first is maybe you are trying to cut back too hard and so you get hungry. And when you can't hold off on the hunger anymore, you get weakened and ravenous and just give in entirely. I've done that in the past. I am familiar with how one goes when one gives in to a craving and lets go completely. I also know how hunger if left too long can cause a craving.

So try to prevent the craving arising. Of course you should resist any passing little thoughts about food. And for that you have to find a degree of commitment and resolve for your diet. But second to avoid the gnawing hunger that won't be ignored, don't cut back so much. Just eliminate all the problem foods and don't go near them. e.g. cakes. Promise yourself not to eat them even if you get hungry. Eat a sandwich instead, the type with wholegrain bread that will satisfy you and is not full of oily salad creams and junk like that. Keep it a simple sandwich. Salad is best. This will satisfy your hunger and prevent a craving taking hold.

Second eat your meals closer together. Don't leave your evening meal til late and don't make yourself starve before lunch time. I eat three meals reasonably close together and if i get a bit hungry between times i will have fruit or something else that is healthy and will satisfy me.

Also, don't cut back your calories so hard. Using a fitness pal calculator or similar, work out your maintenance calories. i.e. how many calories can your at to maintain your current weight. Try eating like that for a week so you at least know what that feels like. Eat those calories in healthy nutritious foods. Then the following week, cut back your calories. When i put my calculations into the computer i asked that i lose half a pound a week or 1/4 kg per week. I said i wasn't' doing any exercise and as i don't have an active life, i just put in sedentary. This gave me a total of 1650 calories i can eat per day and still lose weight. I do not get hungry on this diet. I do have plans to exercise but i am not quite ready yet. When i am ready i will be very very careful about increasing my calories.

So by avoiding hunger in these ways you maybe able to avoid cravings.

If you are eating for emotional comfort, that's a different matter and you will have to address that by other means. But at least you can start off with optimism and that may be enough to give you the resolve to not eat for comfort. I have noticed though that sometimes when we get that depression food thing happening, there seems to be a sudden change in our brain that might be more of a chemical reaction to a negative stimulus. as a chemist you could look into this and may find it interesting. I won't go on about it but its food for thought. isn't it.

As to your family, maybe if you broke down and cried when they are being so hurtful they might feel bad and stop being so cruel. If you burst out with something like, well if you'd stop saying such hurtful things which undermine, i might be able to lose weight. Put some of it back onto them. Keep repeating that should not talk to you like that. That its cruel and they should have a bad conscience for being such beastly people. Go overboard. You've got to get them to see they not helping and make them feel like they should also change their behaviour. Eventually they may stop and if they don't, avoid them.

About those friends. You will make better ones. You don't need people around you who are going to sponge off you.

And if you find your need other sorts of support, find a counsellor at your university for support. Its good to have someone on your side. Spending time with a counsellor, over time, will make you stronger emotionally. Give you more tools and teach you how to set boundaries with your family.

Keep a food log like i do. Have a read of mine - its in the link below. Be flexible, not rigid with your calories. Forgive yourself if you slip up. Don't cry over every ounce on the scales. They fluctuate a lot daily.

When people are horrid to you, tell them they are a nasty person and walk away. It will make them think.

Last edited by Pattience : 02-11-2014 at 10:05 PM.
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Old 02-11-2014, 10:18 PM   #24
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Further, now that i've read the thread right through i have a few things to add.

Your lunch you described. I think you can improve on that. Skip the peanut butter. Its very very high in calories. You might as well eat all that cake. Notice how many calories in a tbsp of peanut butter then compare it to something more healthy like bread and salad or eggs or pasta or rice and see how much quantity you can eat of that for the same calories. That amounts to greater satisfaction. Also peanut butter is full of salt and sugar. Its got everything. Even the oil is added and not just what comes naturally from the peanuts. In Australia we have vegemite. Its made from a yeast biproduct and although salty is low calorie. You would have similar things over there like promote or marmite. If i get caught out at a bad time being hungry i will have a piece of toast with vegemite and a bit of butter. and i find this stuff really takes the edge of my appetite.

Also eat more vegetables and fruit. One piece of celery is not much. You can eat 2.5 cups of vegetables per day. Five different sorts is ideal. I eat fruit and veggies as much as i want. You can eat a lot and they fill you up, especially vegetables.

These are the foods that help you avoid cravings: fruit, veggies, beans, meat and fish.

Things that you could be likely to overeat are highly salted foods and highly oily foods. So do not get into habits dependent on them. Cheese is an example. Keep foods like cheese and even nuts as a garnish to a dish. do not eat them on their own. I put 5 walnut halves in my salads and they make it delicious.

herbs, parsley and other little tasty things added to dishes make it interesting as does a little bit of good quality oil, vinegars, and so on.

I even use cream sometimes, and mayonnaise but i am careful with them and don't use them often.

But i use on sandwiches but try to keep it to a minimum. I avoid jams, honey, all sweets. Everything except fruit.

I do add a pinch of sugar to my cornflakes and don't eat any highly sweetened cereals.

I find in my current diet which i've been on for two months now and have done before in the past, i can eat anything i want to, except at this stage, no sweet foods. I would eat fries if i wanted to but only because i know they are not a problem food for me. If i had a habit of eating takeaway foods, i would skip that altogether because i've noticed while these foods are highly flavoured they are not particularly satisfying.

When i am in the city, i go to a decent restaurant and avoid food courts because the quality of food is low in the latter. Even the japanese food is covered in salad cream.

Its great to read that you have made progress.

Oh yes i wanted to add that 1200 calories is far far too low. You haven't told us your height and weight so i can't make any guesses what it too low for you. Lose weight slowly. Don't match goal weights to times. Just steady as she goes and take it as it comes.

Don't get into the reward thingy. Sticking to your plans is its own reward. You will find yourself happier and more beautiful as you go on. When you get slim you will need all that money for new clothes. Or basically you will need that money as you go down in weight anyway.

Also, i don't throw all my fat clothes out. I keep some for hiccups and the future so i don't have to go and spend a whole lot of money again. I don't aim to get fat again but i've lived long enough to know whats possible. I don't keep many. Just a couple of key things.

Its easier to get skinny than it is to maintain skinniness for a long time.
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Old 02-11-2014, 10:27 PM   #25
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Welcome to 3fc!

A couple of things I've learned!

1. I deserve to treat myself well.

2. It's ok to be selfish, when it comes to treating myself well.

3. Balance! On plan most of the time, but keep in mind, some days life will throw you something. Be flexible.

4. While maybe last, it might not be the least. We need to quit beating ourselves over the head. This is not a battle or a fight or a punishment. That's all negative! This is a positive! There is nothing wrong with living a lifestyle that is full of healthy and yummy foods, regular exercise, and it's ok to say NO! But sometimes, it's ok to have a small slice of wedding cake, or drink.
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Old 02-11-2014, 11:30 PM   #26
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I must say I can relate! When I was in school I had the hardest time losing weight. What really struck home for me were your friends. I have been keeping my distance from my "friends" lately because I grew tired of paying for everything and being taken advantage of... some of them make more money than me (and I don't make much). It's so selfish.. and it really does take it's toll. However, I think you have made a good decision coming on here and confessing to the things you feel are holding you back. One thing that has really really helped me is I have stopped allowing myself to talk about/look at myself in a negative light. It's helped me stay motivated and happier. I honestly am not pleased with how I got to where I was when I started. Oh! and one thing that really helps with the cravings is finding healthier replacements. I ALWAYS crave chocolate and oddly enough, peanut butter usually satisfies me and keeps me away from it. Your extended family probably (hopefully) mean well... my dad used to constantly tell me I needed to lose weight... it was the most painful thing... I always got so upset from it... and he really didn't mean to hurt me by it. It's really hard to tune that stuff out when it comes from the people your love (close family, friends).. But at the end of the day.. what they think is not you. You can succeed at this! Welcome to 3fc!
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Old 02-12-2014, 01:50 AM   #27
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Originally Posted by freelancemomma View Post
It's not only rude, but makes no sense (even by rude logic standards). It's like saying the car isn't starting because the dog pooped on the floor.

F.
Haha thank you for that! I agree. I am not a confrontational person at all, but I really had to say something when I heard that comment.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HuggerBunny View Post
Hi Stopquitting! Welcome to the forum! I just read this thread and would like to comment.

First of all, there's not a magic answer to what will motivate you or make you feel committed to losing weight. It seems like people who successfully lose weight have a specific thing that's motivating them. Maybe something that happened, or something their doctor told them, or for whatever reason they decided enough was enough and they decided they were ready to lose the weight.

As for losing 10 pounds a month, I think that is too lofty of a goal. 10 pounds is quite a bit! It COULD happen, but I think it would be unwise to set that as your goal because if you "only" lose, say, 7 pounds, you will probably feel disappointed and discouraged and that could cause you to throw in the towel. Remember that slow and steady wins the race. You need to make long term, sustainable changes in how you eat, and that takes time to develop and adjust to. If you do manage to drop 10 pounds a month and 4 months from now are at your goal weight, but got there by completely depriving and maybe even starving yourself, you may be more likely to gain the weight back since you didn't actually develop healthy, sustainable eating habits.

A goal of maybe 5 pounds per month might be wiser because it is attainable. That would allow you to lose weight in a healthy, slower way. You may end up losing more than 5 pounds in a month and the same 7 pounds I mentioned above would then be a bonus because you lost more than you planned for. This is my approach, at least.

One last tip- I suggest finding healthy foods that you really enjoy. I've lost 30 pounds since the end of October and have not once eaten something that I don't enjoy during that time. If you don't like it, don't bother eating it, because it may make you feel unsatisfied and want to reach for less healthy choices.

Oh and I really like the idea of saving up money you would have spent on unhealthy snacks! Get yourself a jar and put the money in there. What a cool idea!

Good work on throwing out all the unhealthy foods. I think that was a good idea for you since you seem to have a difficult time resisting them. This is controversial, and doesn't work for everyone, but I personally allow myself one meal a week where I can eat whatever I want. That usually involves pasta of some sort, a drink (usually orange juice, I'm very predictable), and a cookie or a brownie or something. So far this has really worked well for me. If I really want a food I shouldn't have, I just tell myself I can have it when my free meal rolls around. Again, this is what has worked for me, I understand that having one meal a week (or a snack or whatever) where you can have whatever you want does NOT work at all for some people and it sets off extra cravings. For some people, it works best to completely cut out the foods you have problems with or that are not good choices for you. You'll have to see how it works out for you. If you wanted to try this and chose Twinkies or whatever for your dessert, you should probably just by the small package with 2 Twinkies in it that will be all gone after your free meal is over.

So all of this is completely my opinion, feel free to disregard of course!
Not at all, I love hearing advice, it's really great to see different things work for different people! I think I'm one of those people that needs to go cold turkey and not be reminded of those foods. You know how some people after a while dont like the taste of bad food? I have never had that happen to me. I was in my home country for one month, ate very healthy food, lost 6 lbs! but as soon as i came back here, the junk food tasted good, but today I didn't cheat!!! I still had sugar in my coffee and creamer but no store bought little cake packages!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2jellybelly View Post
For Stopquitting. I just joined 3 fats chicks - just now, because of you. You have motivated me. I cannot believe your lack of support & love from your family - although I totally understand it. I, myself do not get much support from my family, & I myself do not really have any friends either. I am a single Mom with kids, but, really understand where you are coming from. I have more weight to lose than you. I am a type 2 diabetic. I am on lovastatin (which I would love to be off of). Maybe we can support each other. I need support. I live in the Pacific Northwest (Oregon). Exercising is not easy for me - the weather can be cold & brutal. You should have love & support. You were right to kick those friends to the curb - they were not really friends if that is the way that they felt. Thank You for listening.
HI 2jellybelly, we should defintely support each other, I know we can do this, just have to approach in a way which is sustainable, that is something I have never learned how to do. Thank you for saying that about my friends, it's been hard to not have friends, but when I think of how I would make up excuses to not see them, or get out of having the drive them places, or them telling me to be the DD while they could do whatever they want, I feel like I was so blinded by how they treated me. They would come to my house and tell me "how nice I am" and ask to use my printer for their school work, but instead they would print out flyers for frat parties. I never thought people like them existed but they do. I just had enough of it. I'm old enough to be able to keep the good people close to me, and bad ones away.

I will keep updating this thread with how I'm doing and you should too! We can message and keep each other on track Thank you for making an account too, I feel like it's the best thing I've done for myself in a long time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pattience View Post
Further, now that i've read the thread right through i have a few things to add.

Your lunch you described. I think you can improve on that. Skip the peanut butter. Its very very high in calories. You might as well eat all that cake. Notice how many calories in a tbsp of peanut butter then compare it to something more healthy like bread and salad or eggs or pasta or rice and see how much quantity you can eat of that for the same calories. That amounts to greater satisfaction. Also peanut butter is full of salt and sugar. Its got everything. Even the oil is added and not just what comes naturally from the peanuts. In Australia we have vegemite. Its made from a yeast biproduct and although salty is low calorie. You would have similar things over there like promote or marmite. If i get caught out at a bad time being hungry i will have a piece of toast with vegemite and a bit of butter. and i find this stuff really takes the edge of my appetite.

Also eat more vegetables and fruit. One piece of celery is not much. You can eat 2.5 cups of vegetables per day. Five different sorts is ideal. I eat fruit and veggies as much as i want. You can eat a lot and they fill you up, especially vegetables.

These are the foods that help you avoid cravings: fruit, veggies, beans, meat and fish.

Things that you could be likely to overeat are highly salted foods and highly oily foods. So do not get into habits dependent on them. Cheese is an example. Keep foods like cheese and even nuts as a garnish to a dish. do not eat them on their own. I put 5 walnut halves in my salads and they make it delicious.

herbs, parsley and other little tasty things added to dishes make it interesting as does a little bit of good quality oil, vinegars, and so on.

I even use cream sometimes, and mayonnaise but i am careful with them and don't use them often.

But i use on sandwiches but try to keep it to a minimum. I avoid jams, honey, all sweets. Everything except fruit.

I do add a pinch of sugar to my cornflakes and don't eat any highly sweetened cereals.

I find in my current diet which i've been on for two months now and have done before in the past, i can eat anything i want to, except at this stage, no sweet foods. I would eat fries if i wanted to but only because i know they are not a problem food for me. If i had a habit of eating takeaway foods, i would skip that altogether because i've noticed while these foods are highly flavoured they are not particularly satisfying.

When i am in the city, i go to a decent restaurant and avoid food courts because the quality of food is low in the latter. Even the japanese food is covered in salad cream.

Its great to read that you have made progress.

Oh yes i wanted to add that 1200 calories is far far too low. You haven't told us your height and weight so i can't make any guesses what it too low for you. Lose weight slowly. Don't match goal weights to times. Just steady as she goes and take it as it comes.

Don't get into the reward thingy. Sticking to your plans is its own reward. You will find yourself happier and more beautiful as you go on. When you get slim you will need all that money for new clothes. Or basically you will need that money as you go down in weight anyway.

Also, i don't throw all my fat clothes out. I keep some for hiccups and the future so i don't have to go and spend a whole lot of money again. I don't aim to get fat again but i've lived long enough to know whats possible. I don't keep many. Just a couple of key things.

Its easier to get skinny than it is to maintain skinniness for a long time.
Hi Pattience,

Thank you for your detailed response! I do have to be better about the peanut butter, it was probably the most calories for the amount I was eating, so that definitely has to change. oh and my height is 5'1 and weight is 177 (im usually 175 when i checked a day ago it was 177 though)

I also want healthy more than I want skinny. Thoughts of being skinny are what motivate me though, that and the prospect of not being on medication. My family is no obese at all, but they all have heart problems, I feel being overweight in my case, puts me at even a higher risk for these diseases. My mom is on medication, aunts, uncles, I don't want to do that! I'm applying to pharmacy school now and the drug industry is a vicious cycle once you start on medication, I will try to avoid it by making healthier choices.

I ate the 1 piece of celery because it was the last vegetable I had at home to eat, I made a soup and forgot about it since it was in the freezer, it's vegetable packed so I will probably eat that! I put very little salt in it too. I need to find ways to incorporate more variety so I don't get bored. I feel that may be a problem.

Quote:
Originally Posted by shcirerf View Post


Welcome to 3fc!

A couple of things I've learned!

1. I deserve to treat myself well.

2. It's ok to be selfish, when it comes to treating myself well.

3. Balance! On plan most of the time, but keep in mind, some days life will throw you something. Be flexible.

4. While maybe last, it might not be the least. We need to quit beating ourselves over the head. This is not a battle or a fight or a punishment. That's all negative! This is a positive! There is nothing wrong with living a lifestyle that is full of healthy and yummy foods, regular exercise, and it's ok to say NO! But sometimes, it's ok to have a small slice of wedding cake, or drink.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avezy44 View Post
I must say I can relate! When I was in school I had the hardest time losing weight. What really struck home for me were your friends. I have been keeping my distance from my "friends" lately because I grew tired of paying for everything and being taken advantage of... some of them make more money than me (and I don't make much). It's so selfish.. and it really does take it's toll. However, I think you have made a good decision coming on here and confessing to the things you feel are holding you back. One thing that has really really helped me is I have stopped allowing myself to talk about/look at myself in a negative light. It's helped me stay motivated and happier. I honestly am not pleased with how I got to where I was when I started. Oh! and one thing that really helps with the cravings is finding healthier replacements. I ALWAYS crave chocolate and oddly enough, peanut butter usually satisfies me and keeps me away from it. Your extended family probably (hopefully) mean well... my dad used to constantly tell me I needed to lose weight... it was the most painful thing... I always got so upset from it... and he really didn't mean to hurt me by it. It's really hard to tune that stuff out when it comes from the people your love (close family, friends).. But at the end of the day.. what they think is not you. You can succeed at this! Welcome to 3fc!

Thanks for the responses from everyone! I look forward to coming home and reading this thread every night Today was my big test, it was rough, but I didn't buy anything from the vending machines or snack stands at school. I usually always buy something as a treat, but I decided I got through 11 hrs of the day without cheating, so why lose all that time! and if i'm going to cheat i dont want to pay vending machine prices! (honestly at school a snickers bar is $1.99!) so today was my first "clean" day in months, not much but a start?

I think all of you who are also in similar situations should come and update on this thread. I'm positive with the help of others who have lost weight we can change our minds about food choices and do better Apart from my parents, I don't have much support in terms of friends or extended family, I've honestly received more support from this thread than I ever had from my friends in the last 12 years. School is one place where I feel I have some freedom, professors see how I study and help me, and people in class ask me for help, but I only have that twice a week for 2 hours, it's not much.

I think I'm going to try 3 days eating clean as my goal, then maybe 5 days, then 7, then incorporate exercise, which will be walking or maybe an exercise cd? I have no money to go to a gym, even my school one charges since I'm not a full time student there.

What do you guys think of the ft4 watch? I am contemplating what to spend my old bday money on. Been saving it to buy weight loss clothes, but I would like to buy something that would motivate me, not sure if it's useful though or worth the money.

Thank you again for the replies, you are all truly wonderful people!
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Old 02-12-2014, 05:55 AM   #28
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Stopquitting, good job on avoiding your problem foods today! That is an accomplishment If you think it will work best for you to go cold turkey on your problem foods, by all means, do that! I wish you much luck For me I have found that some foods I enjoyed before no longer appeal to me. Either I just don't like them anymore, or I don't like them enough that I want to use my once a week free choice meal on them. Let me think. I haven't eaten rice, packaged cookies (or snack cakes either, actually), muffins, or chips other than plain tortilla chips at all over the past 3 1/2 months. It's not that I don't like those things, I just don't like them enough that it's worth my while. One thing that I doubt I'll ever feel inclined to have again is Kraft Mac and Cheese. I love macaroni and cheese of all varieties and have eaten the Kraft kind since I was a kid. A couple of months ago, I decided to have some Kraft Mac and Cheese for my free choice meal and ended up thinking it was pretty gross. So it can happen! Also, I've always enjoyed fruit, but love it so much more now. Even apples, which I'd always thought were kind of boring before (not bad at all, just boring).

Is there any way you can go visit a doctor and get their advice on what you should do to lose weight? You mentioned before that you have darkened skin in areas, which can be a sign of impending diabetes. My doctor is concerned about diabetes with me because I have PCOS and my blood tests showed messed up insulin levels (or whatever it is that measures that). She told me to cut out everything with added sugar, and all grains and starches. It's not low carb per se because I can have fruit (though I limit it to 1-2 servings a day, and no canned fruit or juice) and I drink milk and eat beans and lentils, all of which have quite a few carbohydrates. Really though, it would be best if you talked to a doctor and had blood tests and the like before deciding to cut out most carbohydrates.
So far I've lost 30 pounds over 3 1/2 months, including 3 big, food laden holidays.

I keep an eye on how many calories I consume, but do not worry too much about fat. Most days I have at least one serving of peanut butter, cheese, nuts, or eggs, all of which have a lot of fat. Avocados, too. For many people, consuming fat (from healthy foods like the ones I mentioned- you can get natural peanut butter or almond butter) helps make them feel full so they don't eat as much, and it helps them feel satisfied so they aren't tempted by other foods. Of course you need to keep track of how many calories you consume from fatty foods, but if they're healthy fats, many people see no reason to avoid them, as long as you also eat a lot of veggies and lean protein and have a well rounded diet.

There are so many different approaches to losing weight and being healthy, and no individual person's approach is the best for everyone!
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Old 02-12-2014, 07:46 AM   #29
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Its true there are many approaches to losing weight. That's why its important to choose one that's sustainable for you. There's a great deal of false "facts" out there about nutrition and diet even many doctors are blinded by the false facts e.g., the australian official diet advice about things like PCOS and diabetes is not to quit grains and starches at all. In fact you don't need special foods for these conditions. You just need to eat clean, as they say around here which means not processed foods or refined foods and to eat fewer calories. Also even the science isn't completely clear. There's a lot of unknowns still about many of the subtler issues but all the basics are well understood e.g. how to avoid diseases like scurvy, berri berri and malnutrition. That to lose weight you need to burn more calories than you consume.

Anyway i wanted to add something else to your response above.

I didn't read this whole article but i think you should since its about underarm darkening and all the possible conditions. Your doctor is probably right about the insulin resistance thing and if i were you i would get him to test your for all these possible serious things. You can have your blood glucose levels tested as well the addison's disease condition. At least talk it all over in depth with your doctor. You need to take these potential conditions really seriously and watch monitor your health with it. The diabetes thing, i happen to know that its very common in a indians as they have a genetic tendency towards it. So if you are indian, you do have a very real potential to get this disease so you must be vigilant against it and look after your health properly. And you've already said your family has a tendency towards heart disease. What better incentive is there for losing weight and getting a bit fitter. You really don't need to do a great deal of fitness. Walking regularly will make a great difference. They say that one hour of walking per week (not in five step blocks) has a statistically significant improvement in the risk of getting breast cancer. So you see you don't need to go and kill yourself in the gym. But its good to try to make a physical activity part of your regular life. And its a great way to make new friends too. Doing a team sport is a good way to knock off these two birds with one stone.

http://health.howstuffworks.com/skin...-darkening.htm

IN the article, they talk about skin lightening creams for the pigmentation. I would not get hung up on this until you have any underlying disease issues sorted out. I know that in india skin lightening creams are all the rage these days but i don't think anything you buy off the shelf is going to make much difference. I used to work in a cosmetic clinic. I did see results from very strong treatments and lotions but in freckles, not on naturally dark skin, although it should work on that too if its from the sun or hyper pigmentation. It wouldn't work on your natural underlying skin colour. Personally i just think you have other priorities and as you say you don't have so much money for stuff. So save it till you are actually ready to wear a bikini or something like that before spending your money.

AT least these are my recommendations.

Oh an i wanted to say, i'm a bit like you. Cold turkey and total abstinence works best for me with things i have trouble with.

Sorry for going on so much.
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Old 02-12-2014, 01:16 PM   #30
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"Thank You" for your friendship. I will value it. I'm glad that you had a really good day yesterday. Keep up the good work. I was doing well, until a phone call with some bad news. One of my childhood friends died unexpectedly. Needless to say, I didn't have such a good day. But, I will do better today. What type of plan are you on? I have spend many years on the Atkins program, however being over 200# - obviously hasn't seemed to help me. When I started Atkins years ago, I was about 170#. Very frustrating. I want to just be normal, do you know what I mean. I'm not looking to be a model, just a normal size person - with some energy would be nice. Now, if I could just find some exercise that I enjoy - urrggghhhh!!!!! I hate exercise & I hate sweating - lol.
Let me know what you are doing & how you are doing. Continue to be yourself, & don't let other people change you. Life is too short....
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