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I Lost My Oldest Son (28) to Obesity.

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Old 02-05-2014, 05:56 PM   #46
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I'm so sorry for your loss, not one I could ever imagine.
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Old 02-05-2014, 09:17 PM   #47
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Reading your son's story is heartbreaking, I am so sorry for your loss. I just want to agree with what several others have posted; it is very common that someone passes away when loved ones leave. It is almost as though they are hanging on for us and can let go when we leave. It was good to read that you do have other family members and are not totally alone.
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Old 02-05-2014, 10:59 PM   #48
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My heart goes out to you.

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Old 02-05-2014, 11:04 PM   #49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pattience View Post
If it is longer than two months, then you should get professional help. I hope you can recover fairly soon and start trying to focus on your own health needs.
I am sorry but I profoundly disagree. There is no timetable for recovering from the loss of a child. Two months seems egregiously short. On the other hand, I agree that seeking help can ease the burden and would encourage the OP to do that.

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Old 02-06-2014, 12:07 AM   #50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freelancemomma View Post
I am sorry but I profoundly disagree. There is no timetable for recovering from the loss of a child. Two months seems egregiously short. On the other hand, I agree that seeking help can ease the burden and would encourage the OP to do that.

F.
I am seeing someone right now. Doesn't really feel like it's helping but nothing feels like it's helping right now. I'm also looking into a grief support/recovery group.

Thank you all.
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Old 02-09-2014, 08:30 AM   #51
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Losing a child is a very hard challenge, no matter what the circumstances. You are very brave to come to a public forum and express your grief.

May your son rest in peace.
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Old 02-09-2014, 10:33 AM   #52
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So sorry for your loss. I think it's wonderful that you received such an abundant response to your post. It shows that this forum is a very compassionate and caring place to come when you need support of any kind. I believe that a grief support group would be very helpful. You will connect with others who have gone through the same thing. May Gary rest in peace, knowing that you loved him.
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Old 02-09-2014, 10:10 PM   #53
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Thank you both! It is still so very hard. Just getting by minute to minute. I know I will have made some progress when I am able to let my sister get back home. I've tried sending her back home two or three times but I always have to call her back. I just can't stand being alone right now. And she lets me talk and talk and talk again about Gary, his death, and everything. And doesn't complain but I know it is hard on her because I've seen her cry. She's been a Godsend to me.
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Old 02-10-2014, 12:11 AM   #54
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I am very sorry for your loss. And very compassionate to what you are going through.

Parents are not supposed to bury their children. My grandparents buried 2. My father and my uncle. My dad a bad accident, my uncle heart defib. It's no fun.

But, and I don't want you to think that I don't feel your pain, because I do. however, I do think I see a bit of an unhealthy co-dependent relation ship here.

It does not make it bad or wrong, lots of us have been in those places, myself included.

I would find some good grief counseling, and along with that explore the co-dependency issues in your relationships.

These things take time.

In the meantime, be kind to yourself, but also give yourself permission to continue to live!

In the act of sharing your story here, you are on the road to recovery!

It takes a lot of courage to put your story out there for the whole world to see.

I sincerely hope you can find peace and happiness, and that your story will help others, who are or were in your situation.
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Old 02-12-2014, 05:50 PM   #55
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I am thinking of you.
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Old 02-13-2014, 09:02 AM   #56
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You've been in my thoughts, justmary. Hope you're doing alright this week.
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Old 02-26-2014, 06:17 PM   #57
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I am so, so sorry for your loss.

Never put a time table on grief. Each person experiences it differently, and there is no "right" response to such a significant loss. Getting help is always good.

I hope that you will find the strength to pay tribute to this young man by doing the one thing he couldn't: getting healthy. Do it in his honor.

Be patient with yourself.

I also want to thank you for being brave enough to post this.

You will likely never know how many people may be saved by hearing his story.

You will be in my prayers.
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Old 02-26-2014, 06:29 PM   #58
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Thank you for posting. My heart hurts for you. No parent should have to bury their children, for whatever reason. Please know that I will pray for you and Gary's soul. You are here among friends. May God grant you the peace that only He can give.
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Old 02-27-2014, 12:26 AM   #59
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Thank you. I've been thinking about looking into gastric bypass surgery to see if I qualify.

It's been hard dealing with the grief of losing my Gary. I live alone and can not stand the quiet of my place one bit. Feel like I'm going to lose my mind. But I am getting counseling once a week. I had a "friend" tell me the other day, when I was trying to talk about Gary, that I should just "get over it" "it happened" "time for you to move on"!!! That hurt really bad. "It" was the death of my son. How insensitive can some people be. I will never get over that loss.
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Old 02-27-2014, 08:57 PM   #60
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I'm so sorry, Mary. That is definitely not a "friend", I understand s/he may have been trying to help but that is NOT the way to go about it! I'm glad you have counseling. I'd stay far away from that "friend."
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