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Self esteem = motivation killer?!?!?

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Old 02-04-2014, 10:29 AM   #16
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If that is true what you say about motivation then it means that millions of people, you and myself included, didn't have motivation when we were unhealthier. It just feeds into what everyone else thinks about fat people - that we are lazy slobs. For the record, I've always had motivation to lose weight and be healthy. I've always had reasons to live, people to live for, a future to look forward to. I just always got tripped up in my failures. I woke up with motivation only to go to bed with disappointment. Again, this is probably just semantics but obese people don't lack motivation, I've rarely come across anyone who is not motivated to be healthy. I do come across people who don't have a plan, or can't commit to a plan, or berate themselves when they mess up.

"People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily." Zig Ziglar
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"Binging is a descent into a world where every restriction... is cut loose. At its core is a feeling of deprivation.. a feeling you can never get enough. Binges do not signify a lack of willpower or inability to care for yourself. On the contrary, binges are a urgent attempt to care for yourself when you feel uncared for. They are the voice of survival. Binges are the mark of the self that says, 'I am tired of feeling deprived, of being told I am wrong, that I am bad." - Geneen Roth
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Old 02-04-2014, 10:37 AM   #17
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There are hundreds of weight loss success stories on Huffington Post. All of them have a breaking point section. The unhealthiest just gets to be too much. Something clicks. Something motivates like never before. And BAM they are off.

Did I want to be healthy before? Of course. But I was never motivated enough. Becoming a parent :-) and sadly experiencing my uncle's decline motivated me like never before. I had a desire before but I understand now that I was in actuality never truly motivated before. I am now.

And it changed EVERYTHING. And it did for the hundreds of other people posting on Huff Post.

The ironic thing is I post more than almost anyone else here about food environment and how toxic it is. Many people blame themselves on 3FC. I post over and over it is much more complex than that for the problem. But to succeed yes it takes personal motivation to change.
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Old 02-04-2014, 11:49 AM   #18
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Quote:
I post over and over it is much more complex than that for the problem.
I don't think that anyone denies that - its pretty common knowledge that environment plays a role, but when we post we tend to talk about our personal experiences. Plus it doesn't change the self-guilt that many feel, whether or not they should feel this way about themselves. I get mad at myself for all sorts of negative things that were pretty unavoidable - this is something that I am working through, but it happens. Of course a variety of factors, internal and external have an effect on our weight.
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Old 02-04-2014, 12:01 PM   #19
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Not to scare you but this is how I back slid every time I reached my goal weight. I'd exercise well do great reach the weight and then all over the sudden I'd tell myself well I'm skinny I can have that Venti latte I'm skinny I can have that bagel. After 3 months my body would like squishy again and somewhere in there I would just give up completely.

The good news is everytime I some habit from the weight loss stuck. I am hoping that this time I just make it a lifestyle and don't give up once I'm there. I have worked really hard to try to make this a lifestyle hoping it sticks.

This week I am doing a challenge by eating from home. If I want a cookie I have to make cookies because buying one at 2.99 is financial suicide to my money goals. It seems to be working. I'm super serious about financial goals but not so much about weight loss and health apparently unless it comes to food.

I say figure out what your issue is as others have. Do you have a tendency to self-sabotage. Have you ever been your goal weight before? Are you scared it just might not be attainable so your stopping yourself now. How did you get to your goal weight now?

I am trying to think of it this way. Credit cards are great tools if used responsibly. Food is fuel and whatever you put in your body will affect how you feel.

If I keep charging things to my credit card with abandon eventually I'm going to have a balance for things I've already used or didn't need etc. If I eat without thinking about what I'm putting in my body I might still be starving or eating things that my body doesn't need so it finds a place to store them.

A credit card balance made up of charges for things I didn't absolutely need or charges made without regard as to how I would pay them off would make me feel like crap or a loser. Eating things without regard to how they power my body and seeing the result of that on the scale or the mirror would make me feel bad.

In both cases in my mind something must be done. The credit card balance must be paid. But I don't necessarily have to do anything about the way my body looks. Now a days I am making it a point to treat what I eat like a credit card.

I try to limit unnecessary eating (eating when I'm bored or watching tv), and when I am hungry I try to make it count make sure it has protein etc (like only putting things on the credit card I know I have the cash to pay off) that way at the end of the month I will have a zero or negative balance and won't owe any interest (no more gaining weight and continuing in that direction just maintaining or losing weight).

So far this hasn't amount to an amazing amount of weight loss but it is steady. No more backsliding that the scale stays the same or the weight goes down.

From now on I'm making the routine the important part. As long as I stick to a routine I will get to my goal, even if it takes a little longer to do so. And when I get there I won't get derailed because I have already been living that way for months. This is how I control my finances and this is what I am doing to lose weight.

Everyone is different find what works for you and stick to it so you can carry that self-esteem high for years to come.
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Old 02-04-2014, 01:08 PM   #20
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I love the credit card comparison. I'm stealing it!
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"Binging is a descent into a world where every restriction... is cut loose. At its core is a feeling of deprivation.. a feeling you can never get enough. Binges do not signify a lack of willpower or inability to care for yourself. On the contrary, binges are a urgent attempt to care for yourself when you feel uncared for. They are the voice of survival. Binges are the mark of the self that says, 'I am tired of feeling deprived, of being told I am wrong, that I am bad." - Geneen Roth

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Old 02-04-2014, 07:44 PM   #21
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Thank you so much for the responses I really appreciate them

To respond some of the questions:

-The snacks are a constant, I am from PR and food is a HUGE part of my culture, I have a group of friends that do get togethers pretty much on a weekly basis, they fry everything I mean anything u can imagine it ends up fried and in a tray. I have been great at staying away from those until my bday (last week) , it seems like the bing (melting pot) from my bday just continued the rest of the days (going on 2 weeks). Another issue is every day I wake up saying this is the last day off plan so I go out and pretty much eat anything I can get my hands on since my brain kind of anticipates it won't have it again for a long time, but then the day after I just do it again!!


-I have never met my goal weight mainly because I don't really have one, its always a random number that I don't give much thought to, my goal I set last year was 225…because I was 25 it sounded good but thats about all the reasoning behind it. I would really like 199 because I don't remember the last time I saw a 1 on my weight and I think it would be a kool feeling. Since I never been skinny its hard for me to grasp how good I would feel, I feel great now, better than ever, I mean I walked/ran 5 miles on Sat. to me that was like walking to the top of the world, so when Sat night my friends had a party I destroyed empanadas, a huge piece of cake, cheese, etc.

I need to get back on track ASAP I don't want to go back to where I was breathing hard just by going upstairs and struggling to find a store that carried a comfy 3x in order to fit me.

Again thanks for the support I will try to stop stressing about it since stress only makes me eat 10X more and just do something about it if I get back in the 240's I might loose it!
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Old 02-05-2014, 06:46 AM   #22
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Good morning GMNEVO,

Best of luck to you, I've so been where you're at, you're doing better than I did though, because you are aware that if you continue off plan you'll continue to gain. I remember calling it "feeling invincible" I felt like I was a thin person and couldn't gain the weight back, but did manage to prove myself wrong. This time I'm almost back at goal, but my focus all the way has been maintenance and lifestyle change so that I can maintain. Like you I don't want to go back to feeling tired and not being able to do things.

So, one thing I would suggest, instead of waking up and saying today is the last day off plan say this is the first day on plan, sometimes simple little things like that can make a big difference.

Another thing related to that is telling yourself "I can have that tomorrow or on the weekend, it's not banned for a month or a year, just not at this moment" sometimes just putting something off for a few minutes can beat a craving or impulse to eat when not really hungry.

You have some challenges with your job for sure, wishing you well and wishing you much success

Just keep trying and you'll get back, another great thing you're doing is keeping up with the exercise, my personal feeling is that is so important.
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Old 02-05-2014, 08:31 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GMNEVO View Post
-The snacks are a constant, I am from PR and food is a HUGE part of my culture, I have a group of friends that do get togethers pretty much on a weekly basis, they fry everything I mean anything u can imagine it ends up fried and in a tray.
It's not the only culture that puts a lot of emphasis on food, ask anyone around the world and they'll tell you, food is life! You're not alone on that so don't allow that to be an excuse.

Are you close enough with your friends to suggest that you do something else other than get together and eat fried food? Just say "hey guys, let's cut back a little on a the fried foods, my pants almost don't fit me anymore" in a lighthearted manner but so that they realize that you really are concerned. Or, bring something healthy to the party like hummus and veggies or deviled eggs. Better yet, why not suggest doing an activity out of the box like join a dance class together, go on a hiking trip, have a picnic at a local park, go see a movie, go to a batting cage. Personally if I were in your position I would seriously think about cutting back on spending time in a situation where you are so tempted to eat. Why do that to yourself?
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"Binging is a descent into a world where every restriction... is cut loose. At its core is a feeling of deprivation.. a feeling you can never get enough. Binges do not signify a lack of willpower or inability to care for yourself. On the contrary, binges are a urgent attempt to care for yourself when you feel uncared for. They are the voice of survival. Binges are the mark of the self that says, 'I am tired of feeling deprived, of being told I am wrong, that I am bad." - Geneen Roth
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