and other times I feel like I'm getting nowhere.
It's not even been six months yet and I definitely don't intend to quit, or even have the urge to, but sometimes I feel like I'm not even close to where I want to be.
It's a bad attitude, I know, and usually I feel great about everything but the last few days I've just felt like I'm still trapped in a fatsuit.
I know it's a lifestyle change and that it can take a long time to lose such a large amount of weight but sometimes I just get so impatient. I know it's improper to think that the end of the weight loss journey is where my life will start because that's not true. My life is now and I'm just lucky to have found a way of eating that actually allows for consistent weight loss but argh I want to feel like I've actually gotten somewhere.
Anyways this is mostly just me whining.
But, I'm also afraid that something is going to just switch in me and this whole six months has going to have been a fluke and I'm going to be back to my old binging ways. Even today I thought, "Maybe today could be a cheat day" and then I realized, I don't want it to be. There's nothing out there that's so tasty that I want to break my plan for it, at least not right now. I've broken plan to eat some sugar cookies and drink and wine and eat some chips, but it's always been during big gathering where I could truly enjoy it. I don't want to break my plan just to eat Doritos in my bedroom alone. I would tell myself I would not feel guilty but I would. I would feel bloated and I would get heartburn and I would feel bad because it wasn't worthwhile.
But still, the initial thought is what scares me. It starts with a 'maybe you could...' and used to escalate from there. I think I can stop it now, where before I couldn't, but it's scary.
So, I'm two weeks from being six months on plan and almost 50lbs down and these are the thoughts that have been plaguing me. I'm going to go get some exercise and clear my mind. I hope I don't bum anyone out!