Hi again everyone. What a hectic couple weeks this has been...or month, rather. I just relocated (whole family) to another state and our house is a mess of boxes right now. Kids start school next week, but until then, they are home with me in this disaster zone. FUN!
Well, I wish I could say that I've been following the plan these past few months but of course I haven't. I have a couple good days, then a week of bad ones. Get determined and then fall apart again. I'm trying to figure out why I keep screwing my own self over...
Could it be that I really dont GET how big I am now? Like...I know I am, I feel miserable, I want to change, I haven't felt like myself in years and I certainly don't look like myself. So, on one hand I definitely see it. But, maybe I just think I can change it when I want to, but when I do and I realize how long a process it's going to be, I get demoralized and give up...packing an additional ten pounds on every.time. I think that I don't have a concept of how serious this is...that it WILL take daily changes and hard work, going the DISTANCE. There arent any crash diets to take care of this mess, you know? I'm used to being thin and when I'd gain a little weight, it used to be easy to just do it to lose it, and I'd be rewarded for my short term effort. Now, when I do the same, it takes a week to see the scale move barely a pound....that's so discouraging.
I realize I'm not saying anything new here. I just needed to type it out and send it, I think. To remind myself that I'm still here, that I still need this, deserve this, WANT this. I need to make it a habit to check 3FC out every morning FIRST THING (before news, before email, before celeb stuff, before anything...) to get motivated for the day. Then, throughout the day I need to keep checking in here. It's the one thing that I KNOW gives me consistent feedback and support. You all are invaluable. Thank you for being there.