[df180]

maybe others can relate?

well ive been having a bad few days....tonight was the worst...i've eaten close to my entire daily calorie intake in 3 hours... i think something is bothering me, maybe im stressed...

in the back of my head i KNOW eating wont solve anything but i kept going and getting something else to eat. haven't done that in so long

im not gonna beat myself up about it cause i know it was very bad.... but i do wish i had stopped myself



its back on track tomorrow

[Palestrina]

Because certain food (usually carbs) makes me feel calm. Like after eating a cookie or a bowl of mashed potatoes I feel the same way that a drug addict feels after taking a hit... peaceful and subdued. Because stress wreaks havoc on our chemistry and we use food to counter it. Because it's a lifelong habit. Because when we were little people rewarded us with a cookie when we were good. Because the effect of food on our mood is immediate. That's a lot of reasons for our body/mind to hold on to bad habits.

[OK Lizzy]

I so clearly understand -- even tho I KNOW I will be sick a few hours later, sometimes I feel powerless to overcome the urge.

[vintagecat]

For me finding the answer/s, the many, the complex and sometimes painful personal answers to that titular question, allowed me to to stop "using" food for the first time in my life as an ineffective drug to reward, to celebrate, to calm, to medicate, as a stopper for pain, as a substitution for and a barrier to other pleasures. Finding those answers was worth every penny and every hour I spent to find them.

I look at my situation quite a lot like an alcoholic or drug addict. Though the tricky part is that we all have to eat, unlike the other substances that can be left behind, food sobriety is much more difficult to measure. Based upon my estimates, I've been "on the wagon" for the most part of 2 years. Once I decided to trust myself and to try to undo the damage done from the years of food abuse I can honestly say that I've been food sober the entire time.

My poor husband initiates lunch because I no longer "anticipate" it. I often don't think of lunch until he's rustling around in the kitchen hungry. I don't wake up each morning and think about what I "can" eat that day, a cornucopia of terrible "delights". It doesn't come up. The one time that I thought about cake in recent weeks and the way I used to eat it, I thought, "Why would I?" There was no occasion and how I used to eat it would make me sick right now. And poof cake went away. We had dinner out last week and I split a small piece of NY style cheesecake with strawberries with my husband. It was good but like other things I've recently had, I don't care to have more right now.

If someone told me 3, 5, 10, 20 years ago that I'd write something like this, I'd say they were crazy. I'd have also hated whoever wrote something along these lines thinking they were full of cr@p but I'm only saying what's possible not as a matter of "oh look at me, I'm doing so good" but as a matter of hope, that one of the worst of the worst and I was, is not using.

Is it possible that I might use food again in the way that I have in the past? Yes it is. I will always be vulnerable to food used improperly but the part that might be different this time is that I laid bare the pain that I had been using food to tamp down. So the answer to that all important question in the title of this thread was a change of life for me as it might be for others. This is a very important question.

Thanks for letting me share.

[tefrey]

Using food to soothe and celebrate is something we get taught early. Cake for birthdays, ice cream when you get your tonsils out, etc. So it's not just you, it's all of us.

And as society tried to control other addictive behaviors (cigarettes, alcohol, drug abuse) they didn't notice that our addictive tendencies were not disappearing but instead were turning to food. And the food industry was more than happy to provide the comfort we needed with larger and larger packages and dousing everything with needless crap like extra cheese and frosting, etc. etc.

So we live in a world where overeating is acceptable, even encouraged. Yes, we are all supposed to be thin but the commercials on TV are all about feeling good by eating more and more food and drinking more and more soda and alcohol.

But you and I know that is a lie. Eating too much makes us feel better but only for a moment ... then we feel terrible.

[lanabug]

I agree with the answers above about looking at it from an addiction perspective as that was definitely a huge part of it for me. However, there was also an element of wanting to be in control. While my life sucked & I may not have been able to do/afford the things I wanted or the other kids were doing, I could afford to shell out two bucks for a bag of chips and nobody could tell me otherwise. If I wanted to eat the entire thing in one day, I could, because it was mine and I had complete control over it and at the time I told myself I deserved (what I thought was) good tasting food if nothing else.

[Cgrace]

I completely agree with everything you all are saying about food being an addiction. So here's my question...how do we get a hold of that addiction? If we need food to live how do we get away from it in order to be "cured" from addiction?

I agree with all the posters. And I've been there. But responding to your post Cgrace we do need food to live. We do NOT need fries, and for me bread, pasta, fast food, super processed food to live.

5 months ago if you told me I would not eat virtually any more pasta, bread, fries, potatoes, fast food, I'd have told you no way. They were everday things sometimes multiple times a day. And candy bars and bad snacks and potato chips. Oh potato chips.

BUT I've had virtually none of it. You don't need it and you can resist it. It is replacing bad habits with new ones. It is not going to be fun at first. But in a remarkably short amount of time I stopped craving all of it. Had a party at work, I had zero cake. We have a team breakfast once a week and I haven't touched a bagel or donuts in months.

So you are NOT getting away from food at all. You are embracing healthy, filling, delicious food, and getting away from empty calories. I've learned real food tastes awesome. I love apples now in ways I never did before, just one example. But anyhow it looks like you are doing pretty darn well, close to your goal. Good job.

BTW I found carbs was my biggest problem. It might not be for everyone. But for me it helped so much to get a handle on them.

[tadaponce]

There are some great responses here and I have to agree 100%. I seriously think that junk food (aka cookies, chips, pies, pastries, etc) are the same to us...as drugs are to an addict. There is actually clinical research proof that the same chemicals are released when someone eats junk food, that are released when a drug addict takes a hit of their drug.

I also have the mindset that junk food is my drug and must be dealt with in the same fashion that a drug addict would detox from a drug. Relapses are going to be part of the journey and I must accept that and move past them. The end result is gaining freedom from an unhealthy addiction to bad foods...just as a drug addict....it will be a lifelong process that will never go away. I have to personally accept that I will always have the cravings for my drug (bad food) but must learn how to get through those cravings for the rest of my life.

I seriously think that food is worse then anything else because we have to eat to survive, so it's not like we can stay away from it. We have to learn how to live being around the very things that we crave so much...and that take time to master I think.

Sorry for the rambling..hope it made sense :-)

[AwShucks]

Wow, so much truth here. Yes, I relate to all of the above responses. Isn't it funny how we feel so alone in our struggles with food and SO many people have the same issues!?

I just want to add that it's overcoming a lifetime of learned responses. You don't have to eat when you're happy, sad, or bored, etc. You can do something else -- something calorie-free!

It takes 21 days to break or make a habit (I think that's it). I've found that to be pretty true... it really doesn't take that long. After a week or so, it's pretty painless; you're just practicing your new behavior. Little changes really add up over the long haul.

Plus, I think sugar is evil. The more I eat, the more I want. I really just have to stay away from it. I've had a bite of a real dessert every few months or so, but I don't dabble in it much. It's just better for me that way. What I don't have, I don't miss.

[tyla]

I've been researching why this happens to us, and I've learned that sugar makes you crave more sugar. And high fructose make us want more food. (Food at Mickey D's is loaded with high fructose.)

One of the reasons why we seem to gain weight during the holidays is all that sugar. (Of course, there's the stress with the relatives, too.)

Deciding to give up sugar would be best for all of us.

[PorkyPiggin]

AwShucks and tyla, you are spot on. Sugar leads to More Sugar. I try to avoid processed sugar, and even favor veggies over fruit. Sugar just rots your organs and teeth anyways.

Far as using food for comfort, I wouldn't be surprised if the answer was just as much rooted in science and survival instincts as it is in emotions.

Personally, I just tell myself I can be upset, restless, angry, hurt bored etc, *or* I can be all those things plus fat.
Usually, that's enough to get me to do something else... a book, nap, walk, phone call, a forum.

[Sasha29]

I've been trying to get at the root of my binge eating disorder with the help of a therapist and a psychiatrist. I go through each day like a hamster running on a wheel, always racing. The only time my brain isn't racing is when I am eating - especially when binging on sweet or salty food. Like Wannabeskinny, it's the only time I feel calm. I told my therapist that my brain slows down and I kind of go numb.

I was told that I probably have low serotonin levels and that eating releases serotonin. That's why I feel so much better when I eat. No wonder I can't stick to a diet! They also diagnosed me with adult ADHD, which has been linked to COE or binge eating. I've been taking Wellbutrin for a week now, and it is amazing. Totally life-changing. The obsessive hold that food had over me is gone. I haven't binged, and it hasn't even crossed me mind. I hope this isn't just a temporary side effect.

[Cgrace]

Sasha29- Congrats! I'm glad they found something that has helped your bingeing, that's great!

PorkyPiggin- I love that process of telling yourself you can have those emotions AND be fat along with it. I'm going to remember that the next time I want to binge from having a bad day. Would I rather have a bad day and be working on my diet or a bad day AND eat crap food. Thanks for that.

[thinin08]

Because it's the path of least resistance.