I'll never understand why people worry about what other people want in this type of event. If I didn't want the cake, I just wouldn't eat the cake and tell my mother I dont want it... I'll never understand why that is so hard for so many people to do. "No thanks, no cake for me" "No, I'm positive I really dont want the cake" ... and if need be "Please, I said I do not want the cake so I'd appreciate it if you would accept that".
Location: Anchorage AK in the summer, Lawrence KS and travel in the winter
Posts: 222
S/C/G: High 285+ 256/ticker/160ish
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Candeka,
I get what you are saying. I really do but I'm diabetic and my family still pushes their good "home made" sweet treats on me (and everyone else) and refusal is taken like a personal insult. Those sad puppy eyes. I use my diabetes as an easier out.
People have a hard time refusing because a great many of us fat people are too "nice". We take everyone else's well being and feelings into account before our own. It's easier to give in than have a battle and be the turd in the punchbowl at a family festivity.
What makes no sense IMO is people that push food and insist and then pout or worse making it personal when someone says no. I'm still feeling out how to diffuse the situation of food pushing and the art of the acceptable turn down in my own family. If diabetes isn't a good excuse for not eating "treats" what is?
Last edited by vintagecat; 08-28-2013 at 10:18 PM.
I am a bit embarrassed to admit that I am a birthday cake fanatic! I never, ever outgrew birthdays no matter how old I get.
I am on WW and plan to use my weekly points (extra optional points) to thoroughly enjoy that day. If I happen to go over my points, I will be right back on program the very next day. I won't skimp on birthdays. It is the only day I allow myself to eat cake!
Only eat what you absolutely love and plan for it. What you can tell someone who pushes food on you that you don't want: " the best birthday present that I can give myself is to not overeat."
Have a great birthday to all of you who are celebrating or will celebrate it soon.
Last edited by doingmybest; 08-31-2013 at 01:17 AM.
Only you know whether you can handle eating cake without it triggering a binge or knocking you off the wagon so to speak. If you don't think you can, then absolutely refuse and do not feel guilty about it. If you feel like you have the self control to treat yourself to a small slice and limit yourself, then do that and enjoy it.
As a compromise, why not look up healthier/low cal recipes or substitutions and make your own cake to meet your needs?
Well, sit them down, and tell them why you don't want cake, or any type of processed sugary sweet. They may very well understand, and accept your reasoning. This doesn't mean they, themselves, won't indulge a little.
I don't think I'll ever be without fat on my body, just because I like my cake and I will eat it too. Maybe once I'm thinner, I'll just use the 3 bite rule and toss the rest. But if I know I've had a month of good eating one bad day won't derail the train. May cause a couple days of sputtering, but I get back on track.
First of all, remember, it is YOUR birthday, meaning it is YOUR day. You don't have to "agree to" go somewhere, it is all your choice. I'm not saying this in an "empower you to be strong" way but literally in a "do what you want" way. If eating a box of Ho Hos is your personal bliss than do it, after all, it is your birthday. But anything that in your mind is not worth the calories should not be on the menu. For me it is the experience, not the quantity, that I wanted. I wanted chocolate cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. I did only eat half and my hubbie ate the other half. But that is what I wanted, not what anyone else wanted to push on me. So my advice is that you actually sit down and figure out what you want that in your mind is worth the cost, whether that cost is calories, cravings, or whatever. Happy Birthday!!!
Ok, I'm back to post because I experienced this exact thing last night. I went to dinner with a friend and at the end she decided we needed to split a dessert. I originally planned on not getting anything, but when she suggested it I thought why not, it sounded pretty good.
I said "ok, but I'm only going to take a couple of bites."
When it came that's exactly what I did, had a couple of bites and I was good. Then the pressure started. "You should have another bite...", no, I'm good. "Come on, have another bite."
In a firm, but friendly voice, I told her "I said I only wanted one or two bites, and that's what I had." She finished off the dessert by herself.
You know what's right for you. Try not to over think it and enjoy your evening the way you want.
My birthday is next week, and you know what? I have thought about this day for at least a month now. I want to cheat on my birthday, since I'm doing Ketosis. I haven't had a proper cheat day since July 1st, so feel it's going to be fine. You only have a birthday once a year, and I feel I deserve a blow out celebration. Now, I'm not talking all crazy food all day long. Even when I went on vacation at the end of June though July the 1st, I didn't really ball too hard with eating sweets and carbs. However, I didn't say no either. It's okay to cheat once in a while.
That brings me to this point, if you don't feel comfortable cheating -- don't do it. So many people in my family ask me to cheat every Sunday and I politely tell them to f off, and let me sit. They get obnoxious with teasing me too but I know they just want me to enjoy myself.
As someone who has never liked cake (but has gotten at least one yearly) I've found that other people just really like cake and want to find an occasion to eat it. Nobody really cares if you eat your own birthday cake, they just like to have you blow out candles, take a pic and that's that.
I am always happy to have other people enjoy little things, and if my birthday means everyone can enjoy a slice of cake, then that's awesome! It doesn't mean I have to eat any
That's how I've always felt! I've never gotten the fuss over cake. Now brownies and ice cream, that I understand, so that's what I have on my bday.
I love your attitude about giving ppl the gift of a cake occasion.
That's how I've always felt! I've never gotten the fuss over cake. Now brownies and ice cream, that I understand, so that's what I have on my bday.
