I'm begging to realize that my weight issues this year have way more to do with my self-esteem than my weight loss abilities. I keep self sabotaging myself at work because I think I'm not worthy so I just screw it up so that I don't have to have someone else tell me I'm not worth being hired full time. I'm tired of doing this to myself.
One of my problems is sitting at this damn computer all day instead of living my life and oddly enough the new dog park in the complex has gotten me to start breaking that habit.
Today for the first time in months I have not given up on myself and shoved something I totally did not want to eat knowing it was no good for me. In fact I stopped what I was doing typed up a plan did some more organizing of my recipes and drove off to Whole Foods to get ingredients for the week. I was trying to save money by not getting the fresh ingredients I'm used to getting there but in the end I gave in. I'm used to eating healthy why back peddle to something that didn't work and self-sabotage myself.
I came home cleaned up my kitchen and now I feel I am back on track and I am ever so proud of myself again. I hope I can keep this up for the week for now I'm just taking it one step at a time.