I have a birthday coming up. Everyone wants me to go out to dinner, which is fine as I've agreed to go to Red Lobster, where I can easily order healthy food. The problem is going to come in where people (my mother probably) will either make or buy a cake despite knowing I don't want one, or insisting that I order dessert at the restaurant or something. I've not had any junk, cake/candy/ice cream etc for months and I don't want to bring that back in. I've mostly lost the cravings for things like that and if I eat ANY they might come back again. What do I do here?
Are you close with your mother/attending guests? Can you fib and say the doctor has told you a strict no-sugar diet?
Also, if you tell them ahead of time and emphasize that you WON'T be changing your mind, hope that they respect your decision, yada yada, might this give them enough time to think it over and let it sink in? Clearly they seem to want what they think is best for you and what you deserve, but what seems much better for you is to stay on-plan and build a healthy, happy life for yourself. Perhaps expressing gratitude for their care, and sharing your reasons with them might also help their minds turn a tide?
Overall, it is your life and you will need to redirect food pushers. It takes some practice but say no. Also, since you mentioned Red Lobster, I'd say it is especially true there that they greatly over salt their food so expect a blip up on the scale from eating out.
We used to go out for dinner routinely on my birthday, but the past couple of years I've asked to have a home-cooked dinner instead. I get to ask for what I want (usually salmon or seafood plus fancy salad) and don't want (cake). My hubs has been great about delivering and we save money to boot.
These situations can be tricky because people want to feel like you are celebrating. Tell them that you really aprreciate the gesture, and if it is really important to them that you have something that you would still like it to fit into your plan. Perhaps one glass of champagne or an Edible Arrangement. Not sure if you have these in your area or not, but they are basically fruit skewers cut into shapes to look like a bouquet of flowers.
I've totally turned my birthday into a once a year "treat yo self" day the past couple years. Drive out of the way to the gluten free bakery to get an eclair? Check. Succumb to the junky gluten free corn dogs at the store? Check. (Corn dogs remind me of summers at state fairs as a child. ) I'll admit that I haven't totally succeeded in the "one day only" philosophy, as there's usually a little left over the next day. But once it's gone, that's it. It's not an excuse to eat any and everything, and it's not hard to get back to regular eating, for me. It's different for everyone - but what makes it work for me is how the deliberate, thoroughly planned out nature of my indulgences. By making such a big deal out of specific little things that I enjoy, it's much, much easier -- I'd never eat those things the other 364 days.
My birthday is also coming up, and I do whatever the heck I want . If I want to eat nothing but junk or nothing but salads that's what I'll do.
A couple suggestions to handle food pushers...
Jokingly say "It's my birthday, right? So I get to do what I want, and I don't want to order dessert."
Or
If they simply refuse to listen, order dessert and don't eat it. When they ask you why you're not eating it tell them "Because I didn't want it." When they ask why you ordered it, tell them "Because you insisted." Not exactly the most cordial way of handling it...but I'm sure you'll make your point.
Never, NEVER, eat a single thing that YOU don't want to eat.
If they want cake, they can have cake. If they push you to have cake you can say in a happy, cheerful voice, "Instead of getting cake I've promised myself a manicure/pedicure/spa day/new shoes/new pair of paints in awesome small size/whatever! I can't wait, I'm so excited!!!!!" And leave it at that!
Repeat, NEVER eat anything YOU don't want to eat. Except you should eat your vegetables, they are good for you.
Most likely what is going to happen if you take a bite is you're going to find that sugary foods are waaaaayyyy too sweet now and it will not trigger you. I have a cheat day every weekend and I much prefer to cheat on fruit than sugary foods like cake and candy (and I'm a chocoholic). I wouldn't worry about it. It's your birthday. Have a piece of cake if you want to (after all, it's not going to contain enough calories for you to gain a lb of fat; at most you might retain some water) and let your mom bring it for the others if you really don't. I really don't think it will trigger you though, but you know your own body and cravings better than I do.
I completely pigged out on my bday!
But you know what? I got right back on plan the next day!
It took a week to "recover" from my bday extravangza but it was worth it!
I had a birthday last month, and my husband stuck a candle in my cheeseburger (that is, a ground beef patty with cheese on top) because I don't eat cake, either. No one minded and it was very "me."
As someone who has never liked cake (but has gotten at least one yearly) I've found that other people just really like cake and want to find an occasion to eat it. Nobody really cares if you eat your own birthday cake, they just like to have you blow out candles, take a pic and that's that.
I am always happy to have other people enjoy little things, and if my birthday means everyone can enjoy a slice of cake, then that's awesome! It doesn't mean I have to eat any
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Eat what I want at one meal including cake (I love cake, or used to. I haven't had it in a while.) or ice cream if I want it. I send any left over sweets home with others to avoid having it here at the house where it should not be eaten. If I eat out, so much the better.
If you don't want dessert simply say no (Waaay too full!) or cut the cake and pass it out but don't take it if you don't want it.
Last edited by vintagecat; 08-28-2013 at 03:34 PM.
What do you do on your birthday?
) I'll admit that I haven't totally succeeded in the "one day only" philosophy, as there's usually a little left over the next day. 
But once it's gone, that's it. It's not an excuse to eat any and everything, and it's not hard to get back to regular eating, for me. It's different for everyone - but what makes it work for me is how the deliberate, thoroughly planned out nature of my indulgences. By making such a big deal out of specific little things that I enjoy, it's much, much easier -- I'd never eat those things the other 364 days.
