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Just need some support...and maybe a hug?

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Old 08-09-2013, 03:02 AM   #1
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Unhappy Just need some support...and maybe a hug?

Hi out there. I'm new here and I am having a rough time of it. I've struggled with overeating my entire life and I finally thought I had made some progress...I'm within reach of my goals but I can't stop thinking about food and I've pretty much lost control over the past month. I've begun making excuses for missing more and more workouts. I've been eating more than I know I should and I'm hating myself about it. Sounds simple, right? Just go back to doing all the right things. I don't know what's wrong with me that it's so hard. I'm sitting here crying as I type this because I just don't know what to do. Please send me some support, a shoulder, words of encouragement, advice. No negativity please, just honest support. I really appreciate it and I hope it's going well for everyone else out there. I would love to get back to where I was and be able to be a shoulder for someone else. Thanks.
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Old 08-09-2013, 04:32 AM   #2
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I won't lie to you when I say that losing weight is probably the most difficult thing you will ever do in your life. Why? Because it rests upon the decisions you for yourself and if you have the will to push through the mental barriers you have set up for yourself since you were consciously aware of the way food changed your body. Excuses fall under this category.

For me, the first 2-3 months were the hardest! I was constantly sneaking snacks that were bad for me, thinking about food and munching at night and telling myself that I can 'always exercise tomorrow or pick up next week'. It wasn't until I caught myself making these choices and pushed myself to say no.
You will get cravings--I did--but it's all about saying no to those compulsions.

If food is one of your weaknesses, my advice is to cut it out of the house completely. If you like with others, tell them to name the foods you binge on. Hide food or put it in a place where you have to walk a distance to get it, giving you enough time to tell yourself to leave it alone. As for exercise, perhaps giving yourself smaller goals will help give you motivation? If you are feeling tired, commit yourself to 10 minutes of exercise. When you get going, you won't want to stop.

Try not to think about what you are doing as 'weight loss' and think of it more as a 'lifestyle change'. Think to yourself, 'these are the foods I am committing/omitting for the rest of my life because I want to (insert your reason here)'. Perhaps writing notes to yourself, post-its or A4, to remind you via positive messages to keep you on track. Don't think of where you are as a failure, think of it as a learning curve and that now you know how not to lose weight.

Get back on that horse and keep achieving your goals! We all believe that you can do it.
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2013:80.9kgs-64.5kgs. 2014, 64.2kgs-55.5kgs March, Day 445 60kgs, GOAL achieved!
Running distance goals: 4.4km (30min) achieved 7 May 2013. 6 km (45min) 4 September 2013. 10 km (1hr 12min) achieved achieved 18 October 2013.
Competitions: Round the Bridges, Nov 17 2013 completed, 44min 07secs.
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Old 08-09-2013, 04:43 AM   #3
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Hi Schmeebeth,

I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles.

First of all, there is nothing wrong with you. Binge eating/overeating is an issue that a lot of people have including me! I have been on the straight n' narrow for 2 years. The excuses started when things got stressful at work "Oh I'm so tired I need some chocolate to keep me going" "Oh my boss upset me so I'll just eat wut I want today and behave from tomorrow"...etc. That led to a 4 month binge marathon, I thought I was gonna kill myself from the amount of junk food I was eating. I wolfed down mountains of sweets every day! I couldn't sleep and was sick all the time from over stuffing myself all night.

I have been back on my plan for 9 weeks now but the cravings have started, the only difference this time is that I started seeing a councelor regarding my food addiction. All I do is think about food, obsess over it! Food has been my life since I was a fat little girl. It won't be easy to change this mantality nor will the cravings ever go away but now I know how to deal with my sabotour (and will be more in control as I go along).

Take it one day at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself. If you miss a workout today, don't let it get you down cuz that will only make things worse. Get back to it little by little and don't give yourself unrealistic goals. You will burn out quick and go back to food.

I will share with you wut I do when a craving hits hard. When I say hard I mean I start sweating, shaking, seeing blurry and just going nuts! I stop caring about everything and everyone! It is exactly how a junky feels when needing a fix! Food is a form of addiction after all. Anyways! So here's wut I do... Go somewhere quiet (low lighting would be better.. I go to the ladies toilet at work) sit down, close your eyes and breath deeply in and out. Keep repeating to yourself that you do not need that poison in your body, you want to be healthy.

Most binge eating is related to psychological issues. Try to figure out wut triggers you? why do you binge? when did it start? how did it start?...etc.

I hope my looong response helps! Please feel free to contact me if you need any help or just want to talk. I have been in your place and I know how helpless and lonely it can feel. You are not alone!!

xx

Yasmin
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Old 08-09-2013, 09:32 AM   #4
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Hang in there, you are not alone, if today doesn't work out for you try again tomorrow. Congratulations on the progress you have made so far.
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Old 08-09-2013, 10:02 AM   #5
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I'm a librarian, so I always have books to recommend!

The End of Overeating by David Kessler and Salt Sugar Fat by Michael Moss talk about how modern foods are engineered and marketed in ways to make them addictive to those of us who are susceptible. They really helped me think about how what I eat effects my ability to control my overall intake.

The books by Judith Beck (The Beck Diet Solution and The Complete Beck Diet for Life) have been so helpful in getting me to understand and evaluate and change my behaviors around food. If you read one of those, be sure to check out the Beck support threads here at 3 Fat Chicks.

I used to go through phases. When I was eating well, I couldn't imagine why I would ever go back to eat badly. When I was eating badly, I couldn't imagine how I would ever get back to eating well. The above books, and all the support here at 3 Fat Chicks, got me to a place now where I have complete confidence that I will get back on track and that I know how to do it.

Welcome to 3 Fat Chicks! You've come to the right place because so many of us have been exactly where you are now. You can find yourself back to a better place.
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Old 08-09-2013, 11:35 AM   #6
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You've already received a lot of great advice so I'll offer up a hug!
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Mini-Goals: 10%/24lb~pedicure (met 10/16/13) - halfway/35lb~new clothes - onederland/41lb~massage - goal/170~new dress (and maybe diamonds hehe)

= For every 5lb lost (hopefully to re-add more!)

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Old 08-09-2013, 01:24 PM   #7
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Thank you all for your kind words and good advice. I'm so thankful to have found this forum and to hear from people who know what I'm going through. I'm going to try out some of those tips and check into those books. I'm also going to try to think smaller and not overwhelm myself by trying to change everything all at once. Thanks everyone.
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Old 08-09-2013, 10:34 PM   #8
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You can get through this. This must be so difficult for you.
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Old 08-09-2013, 11:16 PM   #9
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Here's a little trick I learned from the book, "The End of Overeating." There's science behind it, and it is literally the key to solving your problem: When you start looking at, or thinking about food you shouldn't eat, STOP YOURSELF RIGHT THERE. (This is going to sound demented, but I would say to myself, "(Mean nickname)--NO!!") And look away, and think about something else immediately. You have that second to break the spell. But if you start lingering, and thinking, and torturing yourself, chemical reactions start taking place, compelling you to overeat. It's just too tempting. And THAT is the ultimate cruelty to yourself!

Last edited by HungryHungryHippo : 08-09-2013 at 11:20 PM.
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Old 08-09-2013, 11:32 PM   #10
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Losing weight is hard, but you are fully capable of doing it! I am struggling to stick to my plan as well, but look at all the incredible people here who have reached their goals. So why can't we? You can have some fallbacks, but just start again without regret. Good luck!
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Old 08-10-2013, 01:46 AM   #11
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Today was a better day. Eating wise, I was pretty much back to the plan and I didn't overeat. I am running a 5k tomorrow (my first!) so I just did a leisurely walk with the family and I feel good about that. I really needed the support and I really appreciate all the good advice I've gotten already. This is always a struggle but I need to remind myself that it is also one day at a time and no matter what happened yesterday I can always work on getting back on track today. Wish me luck for tomorrow! Hope everyone else is having an on track kind of day. Thanks for all the support!
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Old 08-22-2013, 03:17 AM   #12
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Hi Schmeebeth

Glad to hear you're doing better. I noticed some book recommendations. I highly recommend "Constant Cravings" by Doreen Virtue. It saved me! It was as if she took the words right out of my mouth. Amazing book.

Keep strong!

xx
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Old 08-22-2013, 07:11 AM   #13
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For what it's worth, I lost more than 100 pounds and I still struggle with binge eating.

One tactic that helps me is to just focus on one choice at a time. I don't have to see before me the entire landscape of the rest of my life, or every eating experience I will ever have. I just have to make the best choice I can make right now, with the choice in front of me. Sometimes that means choosing not to buy the foods I buy for binging. Sometimes it means not taking that first bite of something that I know is a trigger, that I know I won't be able to stop myself eating more of. But it is just one choice.

Moreover, when I have made a poor choice, or even when I have all-out binged, focusing on one choice at a time allows me to put the poor choice behind me more quickly. It's not "I've blown it! May as well forget about this diet business until tomorrow/Monday/the holidays/my birthday/etc." I have a chance to start making better choices right away, with the very next bite of food I put (or don't put) into my mouth.
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High weight: 275 (August 2009) *** Low weight: 155 (October 2012)
Today, working off a partial regain. Current weight: 179.
Goals:
* Make the best choice I can make, with every choice.
* Remember that the temptation in front of me is not the last of its kind that I will ever see; say "I'll pass today."
* Say "no!" to my whiny inner five-year-old.
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Old 08-22-2013, 01:22 PM   #14
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Hugs
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Old 08-22-2013, 01:42 PM   #15
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You have made a huge stride just by asking for help. You can do this, you have all the strength you need and more!

Hugs!
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