I don't even know where to start...I have been struggling with my weight pretty much my whole life. I've been successful with weight loss in the past but only to a small degree.
I want to lose about 70lbs which seems impossible since even 1lb has been a struggle.
Last month I decided to give up my gym membership since I wasn't really using it and was tired of feeling guilty about it. It's not that I wanted to give up, but I either wanted to really do it, or get rid of it and try another way. I was having a little bit of success with some videos at home so I vowed to keep going with that. Long story short...a trainer at the gym has offered to train me once a week for free for a year....and I am going at least 2 other times in a week, doing the same workout each time.
I have been doing this for 3 weeks. I have gained 2lbs. I am so frustrated. I know that I have lost a few inches, as we have done the measurements, but for some reason I still feel discouraged and upset. He has asked me to change a few things about my eating - protein shake, almonds and grapefruit for breakfast, and no grains at dinner...lunch and snacks we will work on later. He wants me to make changes very slowly...which I know will help in the long run in terms of keeping up with it and not giving up...but if I don't see results, I will fall off the wagon. It's the way I've always been.
I am just feeling so depressed and awful about myself and I want to know how to keep going when I don't see the results I want to see but I'm doing everything I'm told? I know, in time, my good behaviour will catch up with me...but I don't know how to keep going when I get to this point. This is the point when I always think "it's not working, it's not worth it"...
...everyone at work is asking me what's wrong today...I just feel so discouraged and hopeless. I know that sounds dramatic...but I have been going through this for like 20 years and I am so sick of it....