Thank you guys so much for the support and encouragement!
Aspen13 - thank you! really. Your comment was the first one I saw earlier today when I was feeling really down and frustrated and you turned my mood around.
Amandie - I missed everyone! I really think I was avoiding the forum because I didn't want to see everyone else being so successful when I knew I was doing so poorly. As for the tom, I was bleeding extremely heavy for the first 2 weeks but it seems as though I'm just about done now. I know I shouldn't self diagnose but I'm about 99% sure I have PCOS and the other ladies experienced the same thing when going long periods of time without their tom. I do have an appointment with the GYN for an overall appointment next month though and I'll bring it up then. I've been taking iron supplements just in case.
Nemom - thank you for relating your experience to me. You're right, I can do this and so can you!
Emurph - you're so right. I have come a long way and I want to keep going! And trust me, you sound just like me with the "what are you doing" speeches. I'm ready to be able to answer that question with GOOD answers!
Lecomtes - I did not remember ever having cravings like this back then! Maybe it's because its the first one I've had in a long time, but it definitely shot any will power I had left to **** lol. But you know what I am tired of it and am definitely ready to recommit. Thank you for your kind words
Preciousmissy - I think you are so right. We just started to plan our wedding for next fall, and I have been thinking about how I want to look by then, and realized how bad I had fallen off the wagon.... not to mention we did just decide we would be visiting home town again in October. It would make sense that Im using these times as motivators and slacking off once I'm done. But I think I'll pay more attention to that now, and hopefully stay on track all the time. I would love to be 200 lbs by my wedding.