Ok enough is enough!
 

I'm super frustrated with myself. I was doing FABULOUSLY. I lost about 40 lbs (38 to be exact) from March - June. I was walking a lot, feeling great, eating well, zumba classes, and punching bag. I knew I was going to be visiting my old home town for my birthday in June and figured I'd let myself eat and do what I wanted for that time. It was only a 4 day trip.

I came home.. and could. not. get back on track! Since June 10th until now I have probably had a HANDFUL of good days, and the rest have been bad. Me making excuses to not work out, eating poor choices - drinking soda??? Which I don't even really care for so not sure why I am purposely screwing up. Part of it could be I am on my lady time (Sorry to any guys who are reading) and I haven't had one in 4.5 years. I'm pretty sure from being so heavy. I think the weight loss (even though I haven't lost any more) triggered me having one. And I'm still on it and its been 18 days lol. So I definitely have been craving junk junk junk. I'm usually good with willpower, but not lately!

Not only do I feel mad for wasting an entire 5 weeks, but I let myself gain 5 lbs. It could have been worse, but I don't like feeling like I'm backtracking. Anyways. I ate poorly yesterday but still made myself go to the gym and I worked out really hard. I want to go grocery shopping again today and get back on track. This is more of a vent than anything, but I could use encouragement words to kick my butt back on track! :?:

Big :hug:!! I am so sorry. Losing weight for me as been such a battle with myself. I have never had so much inner thoughts being bounced around. I have to push myself all day long. You are a good person, you are very deserving of getting in better health and losing the extra weight. Fight the negative inner speech and show who is boss. Take each moment at a time. Find fun ways to exercise and switch things up to keep it as fun as possible. No, exercise, for the most part, will never be fun but personally I never expected any of this to be. You can do this! YOU CAN do this!

Welcome back, pretty lady! I have been wondering about you!

I'm glad you came back before you let yourself regain the whole 40+! 5lbs isn't that bad and you definitely can lose that in a snap! Just start slowly again to re-build your habits. It totally sucks on how easy it is to get off track and hard to get back on! YOU GOT THIS!

PS- nearly 3 weeks period?? I would hope the flow isn't that heavy if you're bleeding constantly so much, you know? If you're feeling weak/anemic, I'd see a doc just to be sure!

I have been (am) where you are only I was off track for more like 3 months, not just three weeks and I regained close to 20lbs not only 5.
You got this. One day at a time!!!

I hit a rough patch in May and June after doing so well from December-April, so I understand. The scale didn't creep up significantly for me, but I started to give myself the "What are you doing??" speech once I realize the scale fluctuations were likely not due to just water weight from a bad day here and there.

You've come too far to give up. And you know it! Just tell yourself you're going to get back on track for one day and take it from there.

Been there! I'm so sorry! It's such an internal struggle sometimes, especially during tom, that's when I usually crave unhealthy stuff (like giant heaps of potatoes, lol). I like NEMoms signature a lot...Weight Loss does not take Perfection. It takes Persistence...even though you may have had more "bad" days than good, you're still thinking about it and those good days count for something! Good for you on still making it to the gym! Keep at it sketti...we'll get there!

Skettihead! I love reading your posts! Glad to see you're back.

Just a thought, but could it be that going home was your motivating factor to work so hard, and now that you're back you've lightened up a little?

I don't know, maybe that's just what is going on with me and I'm projecting :lol:. This last month I gained back 6lb. The other night I booked a trip and now I'm super motivated to stay on track.

Thank you guys so much for the support and encouragement!

Aspen13 - thank you! really. Your comment was the first one I saw earlier today when I was feeling really down and frustrated and you turned my mood around.

Amandie - I missed everyone! I really think I was avoiding the forum because I didn't want to see everyone else being so successful when I knew I was doing so poorly. As for the tom, I was bleeding extremely heavy for the first 2 weeks but it seems as though I'm just about done now. I know I shouldn't self diagnose but I'm about 99% sure I have PCOS and the other ladies experienced the same thing when going long periods of time without their tom. I do have an appointment with the GYN for an overall appointment next month though and I'll bring it up then. I've been taking iron supplements just in case.

Nemom - thank you for relating your experience to me. You're right, I can do this and so can you!

Emurph - you're so right. I have come a long way and I want to keep going! And trust me, you sound just like me with the "what are you doing" speeches. I'm ready to be able to answer that question with GOOD answers!

Lecomtes - I did not remember ever having cravings like this back then! Maybe it's because its the first one I've had in a long time, but it definitely shot any will power I had left to **** lol. But you know what I am tired of it and am definitely ready to recommit. Thank you for your kind words :)

Preciousmissy - I think you are so right. We just started to plan our wedding for next fall, and I have been thinking about how I want to look by then, and realized how bad I had fallen off the wagon.... not to mention we did just decide we would be visiting home town again in October. It would make sense that Im using these times as motivators and slacking off once I'm done. But I think I'll pay more attention to that now, and hopefully stay on track all the time. I would love to be 200 lbs by my wedding.

Definitely agree. To further your point on perfection, I think if you expect or anticipate that you will not be "on plan" for a certain period of time, it doesn't mean you should give up on *everything*. So, maybe if you know you'll eat more than usual, try to keep up with the exercise. That way, you don't let everything go. I know for myself, that "all or nothing" mentality is something I have tried to improve.