Thanks to everyones support I am down to the lowest weight I have been at in 20 years!!! I am now in a size 18W. This time instead of putting the 20's in the back of the closet I have taken them to Goodwill and donated them ALL!!! This time there is no going back! I have it in my head and now also NOT in my closet. Thanks again to everyone for the words of encouragement when I was struggling. I am GOING to do it this time!