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Ooookay, here we go.... :(

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Old 07-01-2013, 06:50 PM   #1
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Default Ooookay, here we go.... :(

with the "you're getting too skinny" remarks, of all people, my husband and my best friend just admitted to me she has been secretly thinking the same thing for a little while now

i am NOT TOO skinny by any stretch. i look normal weight and am slim. The problem is i'm FIFTY ONE and don't have that nice little layer of subcutaneous fat that even slim young people have, my weight loss has sucked all the fat from my face (i'm JUST NOW starting to feel okay with my face after a few months of feeling ugly) and my collarbones and upper ribs and veiny hands but the rest of me looks normal and my abs still have a bit of pudge to them that i doubt i will ever lose, i'm just in maintenance now and not trying to lose. i don't think people realize how much it can sting to hear people say that but i think i am going to try real hard not to let it get into my head and just keep on keeping on. i truly am not at all interested in becoming underweight or anorexic and i have a healthy body image but i'm like a lot of women my age--kind of "lumpy" slim if that makes sense. i'm just surprised that these two people i love don't seem to have the "intelligence" in this area to realize all of the above and i don't feel i need to explain to them.

Feel free to lament or critique
me: (doesn't look too slim in my opinion!)



Todays pic
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Last edited by ReillyJ : 07-01-2013 at 07:02 PM.
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Old 07-01-2013, 07:02 PM   #2
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You're 51?! Was that a typo? You look like you're in your 20s!

No, imo you don't look too thin. You look beautiful. You mentioned your face looks gaunt, but I don't see that either.

I think those two people are just so used to seeing you heavier, that it's shocking for them to see how your body looks at a lower weight. They'll get used to it.

Some people do drop too much weight and get a severe, gaunt look but you don't have that all. You truly look stunning!
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Old 07-01-2013, 07:19 PM   #3
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I think you look fabulous...and much closer to 31 than 51. I agree with crispin, I think they are just so used to seeing the way you were. It might take time for them. Congratulations on your weight loss!
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Old 07-01-2013, 07:27 PM   #4
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Thank you Crispin and Aspen13!

i didn't THINK i looked too skinny and just don't understand why my husband and best friend don't "get" that maybe my body will have very low body fat in some areas and that is just the way some people's body's are. My friend has always been slim so it shocked me that she agreed although she hasn't really said anything. I'm hoping my husband drops the subject instead of me having to defend myself. i have been this weight (around 170 to 157 that i am, now) for close to a year now, you think they'd be "used" to it by now but i am noticing with each pound more that i lose, the more comments i start getting about how skinny i am.

i will never personally "police" anyone myself again :\
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Old 07-01-2013, 07:38 PM   #5
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You look amazing!

The problem with people who know you is that they're always comparing the new you to the old you. I see you've lost over 100lbs! I bet you're a lot smaller than you once were so it can be shocking to those who knew you at your higher weight.

Once you've been the same weight for a while the comments will stop. I used to get "you're too skinny" ALL THE TIME but now that I've been the same size for a year and a half, the comments have stopped. In fact whenever an old photo of me surfaces people are shocked at how I used to look!
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Old 07-01-2013, 07:38 PM   #6
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WOW... You do look like you are in your late 20's early 30's You haven't aged even with weight loss... WHAT is your SECRET shhhhh Someone will hear and try and make money from it!

I think Aspen was right.. They are just used to you the way you were holding steady with. It might just seem that you are really thin compared to what you were - where they thought you were staying. Does that make sense? Anyway... all your extras will readjust themselves in your body in a few weeks and maybe the parts of you that are really thin will even out? But to me... you Look healthy and slender! I only hope to get down to what you weigh! That is my goal! You done did good!
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Old 07-01-2013, 07:41 PM   #7
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You are lovely, ReillyJ. No, I need to change that statement. YOU ARE GORGEOUS! Yowza!

I honestly think that even though it's been a long time that you've been maintaining that you were heavy for longer than you maintained and people just can't shake that heavier image out of their brains yet.

It could be that I'm projecting. I'm still shocked when I see a picture of myself now. Up in the mirrors in my attic I still weigh over 300.
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Old 07-01-2013, 07:50 PM   #8
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Wow. You certainly don't look 51. I had to re-read that several times thinking I read that wrong. You could easily pass for 20 years younger. You are so very pretty and I think your weight is perfect for you not too skinny at all.
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Old 07-01-2013, 07:52 PM   #9
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Wow, just WOW!! 51 looks great on you, ReillyJ!!
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Old 07-01-2013, 08:00 PM   #10
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You look healthy. 157 is a healthy weight at 5'6". It's not just you, I think most of us would be in agreement -- you're doing it right.
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Old 07-01-2013, 08:23 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wannaskipandlaugh View Post
I think Aspen was right.. They are just used to you the way you were holding steady with. It might just seem that you are really thin compared to what you were - where they thought you were staying. Does that make sense? Anyway... all your extras will readjust themselves in your body in a few weeks and maybe the parts of you that are really thin will even out? But to me... you Look healthy and slender! I only hope to get down to what you weigh! That is my goal! You done did good!
That's it!! Maybe that is it, compared to the OLD me, i'm looking really slim but compared to every other normal weight woman out there, and believe me, i look, i look NORMAL. I think it still shocks me because my husband married me at this weight (well, that was 32 yrs ago and i was proportioned differently!) and he's saying he's shocked at seeing my "bones", (i think i'll just ignore it) and especially my friend who ironically, i always thought was too slender. i guess this comes with the territory as i remember thinking that about everyone i've known who's lost a significant amount of weight, they always seem to bottom out and then climb back up (which i'm hoping doesn't happen to me) but i really hope my husband stops with the comments. i imagine if i tried to gain 5 lbs it would all go back to the most stubborn area that i have, my abdomen. My face looked this way (very chiseled and veiny compared to what it was when i was fat) at 170 so i am not going to try to gain just to appease people.
Thanks everyone for the kudo's. i guess you learn to deal with these issues as you go along but i was wondering if my sense of self was skewed, and i don't think it is!
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Old 07-01-2013, 08:30 PM   #12
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Wow. Go find yourself an agent, stat. Don't listen to any negative talk and revel in your amazing accomplishment and looks.

F.
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Old 07-01-2013, 08:37 PM   #13
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I think you look fabulous!

I also think people have a distorted view of what healthy looks like. Maybe people have gotten used to what overweight/obese folks in society look like and now healthy weight folks look "too skinny". My mother, who is overweight, has recently been asking me questions that indicate she's concerned that I don't eat enough, that I'm too skinny. Trust me, I do NOT look too skinny and still have some pounds to lose! I'm probably going to drop my goal by 5-10 pounds as well. It really frustrates me that she could think I'm "too skinny" and not understand what healthy might look like.
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Old 07-01-2013, 08:46 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KindaSortaAthlete View Post
I also think people have a distorted view of what healthy looks like. Maybe people have gotten used to what overweight/obese folks in society look like and now healthy weight folks look "too skinny".
THIS... this is what I believe 100% is happening
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Old 07-01-2013, 08:55 PM   #15
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Dear Lord, you are gorgeous. They're just not used to the new you yet; they'll come around eventually. In the meantime, enjoy your success. You truly look fantastic.
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