Another strong ray of best wishes being beamed your way, Colleen. I really truly believe that if anyone here can use their acquired knowledge, skill, and honest self-awareness to get back on track, it's you.
Daily journaling is one of those necessary things for me to lose weight. It took me a long time to realize how instrumental it is; I thought of it simply as a consequence, a necessary outlet to channel and sustain the near-neurotic level of focus and interest in food/weight-related matters. For me, it is that, too -- but I realized that it's not just a by-product of trying to lose weight, it's a veritable steam engine, a necessary precursor. I hope that reinvigorating your blog has a similarly helpful effect for you. (And I'm really glad to hear that a simple and easily corrected medication mistake was one of the culprits for the last few days' of gains.)
Do you struggle as much as I do, with the never-ending balancing act that chronic illness adds to the diet equation? For me it gets so hard sometimes to correctly self-discipline - that is, to distinguish correctly from over-indulgence and appropriate levels of self-compassion and acceptance of less-than-ideal. No one can else can really help me distinguish that boundary line, and the line doesn't stay in the same place from day to day. It's a continual dance along the knife's edge between being appropriately measured with myself and perhaps not being as tough on myself as I should be. (It compounds further, of course -- one can go the opposite way and be way too harsh with too-high expectations, and suffer those consequences too. I struggle with that end of the spectrum an incredible amount too - one reason I admire how much you stress on these boards the message of self-love over self-punishment.)
Lots of ramblings above, sorry - but lots of genuine affection and well wishes too.
kaplods, I echo what so many here have already stated: You are an inspiration. Your posts have helped me (and others) so many times. I am sorry you're going through this, but I am so glad you shared. I'm having a difficult time as well, but we both can do this!!
I'm so sorry kaplods. It must be so challenging to have to deal with meds like that on top of trying to lose weight. As others have stated, you have extraordinary wisdom and self awareness, you'll turn it around. Writing it all out can be so helpful, I hope your blog eases the strain.
Desiderata, yes I definitely struggle intensely with the balancing act, not only for weight loss, but for every aspect of life. It's like juggling spinning plates, when anything unexpected crops up, some of the plates inevitably come crashing to the ground. To make the juggling act even more complicated, hubby also has a degenerative joint disease (when he was 17, doctors predicted he'd be in a wheelchair by 30. He's 43 and still no wheelchair, but we both struggle with pain and mobility alone and together).
We've both had to learn patience with ourselves and each other. Of the two, I find patience with myself the most challenging.
Kaplods I also have a couple of those wonderful auto immune diseases. Gotta love them, NOT! Hang in there. I have read so many of your informative posts. You truly put your heart and soul into them. You can do this. I know you can and you know you can. I love the idea of not starting over but of moving forward. Another inspirational thought I can take from your post. Thank you.
Good luck with getting back to it hun, and I'm sure you'll do a fab job of it. I'm trying to pull myself out of my own funk at the moment and I really don't know what to do. lots of hugs coming your way xx
My weight is up 29 lbs from my lowest weight (284). I have to change my ticker, but even thinking about it feels like admitting defeat, admitting that the weight won't be coming off any time soon.
As many of you know I have multiple health issues including autoimmune disease which is periodically treated with prednisone and other steroids.
Prednisone is a double-edged sword. I feel amazing on it, but it does insidious damage, while hunger and water retention are forced into overdrive.
I can't use prednisone as an excuse at the moment, but between my health issues and the side effects of medications such as prednisone and others, some weight gain isn't a complete shocker, but now that things halved calmed down some, I can't understand why getting back on track is so difficult.
I've started blogging again, including my daily weight. I may also publish my daily food journal. I haven't decided whether I want to make that much of a time commitment.
I was shocked that my blog was still available as I hadn't posted in over a year, but it was still getting hits and commentary.
I did rename the blog from Starting Over, Take 1,887 (or something like that)...... to: My At-Home Low-Cost, Health Spa to better reflect my weight loss philosophy (for years now, I've said, " There is no starting over, only moving forward, standing still, or sliding backwards).
I've been complacent about standing still for far too long, but I can't afford to become complacent about backsliding. I don't want to end up losing any of the strides I've made.
Hi, I'm visiting from another forum but I saw your post. I wonder if you have considered trying to address your autoimmune issues through diet as the first line and likely benefit also with a bonus of weight loss. There is a version of the Paleo protical that does exactly this. I'm not suggesting it will solve all your problems, but you never know how much food has a role in your issues until you try. Here is a link http://paleospirit.com/2013/what-is-...aleo-protocol/. Best of luck.
Hi, I'm visiting from another forum but I saw your post. I wonder if you have considered trying to address your autoimmune issues through diet as the first line and likely benefit also with a bonus of weight loss. There is a version of the Paleo protical that does exactly this. I'm not suggesting it will solve all your problems, but you never know how much food has a role in your issues until you try. Here is a link http://paleospirit.com/2013/what-is-...aleo-protocol/. Best of luck.
I definitely know the role diet plays in my AI, fibro, and osteo-arthritis as I've been studying, and experimenting with anti-inflammatory diets both paleo and non-paleo for the past nine years. Nuts, seeds, fermented dairy, eggs and nightshade vegetables do not seem to affect my fibro or AI issues, but wheat, fresh dairy, and sugar (even from too much fruit) are problematic.
Of the triggers I have some input into, only sleep deprivation hits me harder than eating off-plan and exercise comes pretty close. Weather changes have a huge impact, but I have no control over that (as we can't afford to move where the weather would be more stable.
Even knowing all my triggers, maintaining the balance is like building a house of cards or a setting up a complex, long line of dominoes Just one mistake and it can bring it all crashing down.
But just as my triggers can pull me into a destructive downward spiral, the spiral works in reverse as well (but more slowly, or so it seems).
Thanks everyone, I'm feeling and doing much better. I'm already down seven pounds, and my wrists and ankles are getting back to their normal sizes.
I haven't been blogging except to log my daily weight, as my left (dominant) hand is quite sore from a bone spur that rubs against a tendon whenever I overuse the hand.
The hand should be fine in a few days as long as I keep up with the capsaicin cream (derived from hot peppers). I love how it works for the pain, but I have to try to be careful not to rub or touch my face, which doesn't work so well. When I first tried it, I figured soft spa gloves would help. OMG, bad, bad idea. The tube warned not to bandage tightly, but the gloves were loose - didn't matter, the gloves seemed to magnify the feeling of heat.
At the time it didn't seem funny, but now thinking about it does make me laugh. Reminds me of the time I pepper sprayed my kitchen by drying habaneros in my food dehydrator twelve years ago. My sister an I were sharing a townhouse apartment, and our bedrooms were on the second floor. I was the first downstairs, and I had to stumble to the kitchen with my eyes closed to pull the dehydrator plug.
Then a few days later I maced myself again, because I decided that I was not going to waste the dried peppers, so I put them in my food processor, which shot pepper fumes into my face.
To make the situation even funnier, I learned that I hate habanero peppers. It isn't so much the heat as where the heat hits. I like heat that hits the front of the tongue, lips, and mouth. Habanero heat is more back-of the throat, and the flavors under the heat just don't appeal to me. If habenero or scoth bonnets are blended with peppers I like, I don't mind.
It's so not funny, but it IS. Thanks for sharing the mental image of macing oneself with a food processor.
My doctor had me try capsaicin a few years ago when my hands started aching horribly. Pro tip for anyone else curious to try it: If you wear contacts, DON'T. Thorough handwashing and a 24 hour time-lapse did nothing to prevent the burning.
It's so not funny, but it IS. Thanks for sharing the mental image of macing oneself with a food processor.
My doctor had me try capsaicin a few years ago when my hands started aching horribly. Pro tip for anyone else curious to try it: If you wear contacts, DON'T. Thorough handwashing and a 24 hour time-lapse did nothing to prevent the burning.
Oh God No.
A little after I maced myself. a friend who was also a coworker brought me a couple habaneros from his friend's garden. It was near Halloween, so I drew a little jack o' lantern face on one and tacked it onto my memo board through the stem. When it started to wilt badly, I tossed it (but not the push pins) into the trash.
A YEAR LATER, when I was leaving the organization, as I was cleaning my work area, my upper lip suddenly started burning. It took me only a few seconds to realize that the probable source was my handling the push pin and then touching my face.
Since then, I have continued to cook with jalapenos and other hot chillies, and no matter how well I clean the counter afterward, there's always still a chance that I've left a little chemical minefield behind as a surprise for later.
Writing it all out can be so helpful, I hope your blog eases the strain.
Hang in there. I have read so many of your informative posts. You truly put your heart and soul into them. You can do this. I know you can and you know you can. 
I love the idea of not starting over but of moving forward. Another inspirational thought I can take from your post. Thank you.
It's so not funny, but it IS. Thanks for sharing the mental image of macing oneself with a food processor.