[SuperCecilia]

I'm writing to share my own story and hopefully get some solidarity or insights from others who experience something similar. Brief bio: I'm 32, have insulin resistance, and am following a lowish carb diet. I don't actually count carbs or measure, but generally try to avoid or really limit grains, sugar, potatoes, bread, crackers, etc and focus on dairy, nuts, seeds, meat, lots of veggies, beans and lentils, and lower sugar fruits like berries and apples. I'm not limiting fat so will eat avocado, be generous with butter or oil when cooking, etc. Three meals and two to three snacks a day. I've found I get less hungry eating this way. It feels AMAZING because I've struggled for years to lose weight cutting calories and cutting fat and I was hungry and irritable and had to fight to lose even an ounce. I also work out regularly - yoga, running, walking, dancing, mostly. I'm down 23 pounds since mid-February (awesome) and am in onederland and close to having my BMI under 30. So, hooray, I've found a plan that works for me.

My issue - I find myself sabotaging myself. I had a "whoosh" last week on the scale and jumped from 196.8 to 194.4 after a few days of really sticking to plan. Instead of this motivating me to stick to plan to continue to see better results, somehow my response is to cheat a little bit. For example, on Sunday, DBF and I went out to eat and split a pizza. Monday morning I was in a rush and decided I didn't have time to make eggs, so I had two pieces of toast with peanut butter (too many carbs for me in the morning set me up to be hungry through the day...) At work events yesterday I had two handfuls of Cheez-its (Cheez-its are my nemesis - I'm really glad I wasn't left alone with the box!) and some chocolate a colleague had brought to share at a meeting. So it's not like I'm bingeing or getting totally carried away, but I'm going off plan enough that the scale predictably goes back up a pound or two. I did the same thing after hitting onederland last month.

Anyone else out there that can relate to this? How have you dealt with it? I'm trying to just be really aware of myself and to change my self-talk. "I can do this. I know what works, and I can make the choices to create this change." For years I struggled trying to follow low-fat, low-cal diets which left me hungry and didn't work. Now I have a plan that works, and there is no guesswork. I follow the plan (avoiding sugar, limiting carbs especially at breakfast and lunch, building in snacks, bringing high protein snacks to work, etc) = I lose weight. How come I respond to success (both on the scale and in fitting into smaller clothes) by going off plan?

[CIELOARGE]

First, CONGRATULATIONS! You've lost a lot of weight in the past few months, give yourself a little "high-five"

Second... It happens!!! You are only human! The key is to reconigze that you are getting out of plan and come back as soon as you can. What always helps me (before pregnancy) is setting a weight limit. If I am at 148, I know I don't want to go over 150 again, so if I see 150 is my wake up call and change my WOE.

It really sucks because, usually, anywhere you go (party, get together, function, you name it) there is ALWAYS yummy food full of carbs and fat. It's hard to resist. I have that problem, I can't control myself outside the house... And I just eat!! The next day I am back on plan and I excersice a little bit harder.

Don't beat yourself over it. It does happens. Just to back to plan and you should be just fine

[crispin]

Wow, we eat really similarly and even have the same cheesy nemesis.

So, going off plan. Here's one way of looking at it: You're trying out maintenance mode. The way you eat is the path to success (for you, and me), but it's a path you'll be on your whole life. You won't have to stay on that path 100% of the time though. Detours are allowed. Once you reach goal, as long as you eat on plan 80% of the time, you'll be fine, give or takea few pounds. So maybe, on some level, you recognize that this is a life-long commitment and you're testing how strictly you'll need to adhere to your plan and still meet your health and fitness goals. I don't see occasional off-plan eating as a bad thing. I actually think it's smart, despite it prolonging weight loss. It's only helpful though if you honestly look at what you're eating (and you are) and study its effects on you, like how much you can handle before you lose your commitment. Experimenting is a good thing, I strongly believe that.

However, it could also be that due to success you've started to get a little cocky. Kinda like, "This wasn't so bad. I could definitely do this again,"so you don't mind putting on some weight because you're confident you could get back on track. Again, is this so bad? I think a touch of that is normal, even healthy.

Then there may be the issue that you don't really want to lose much more. You could maybe ask yourself if there's anything you like about being heavier or that you fear or dread about being thin.

One answer may even be something as simple as you fearing being thin means you have to be 100% disciplined (you don't!), and you don't want to give up the fun and pleasure that undisciplined eating can bring (in moderation, you don't have to).

[amandie]

I relate a lot to your post, Cecilia. I admit I get cocky a lot, LOL. I'd feel like "Well, I did so good so far so I feel I deserve X or Y (although in my case, it's usually X AND Y, oy.) I still haven't dealt with that 100% except to just get back on plan and keep going. Like Cieolarge said, we are human! We will be making mistakes along the way, we can only try to learn from them.

I am working off my regain (167 now) from my lowest I saw a couple weeks ago- 164.4 and I refuse to change my ticker until I get back to that and under.

Congrats on your progress so far! It is really a on-going learning process.

[newleaf123]

I can totally relate to this. I tell myself that I want the loss more than I want the (insert temptation here). And/or, I wear slightly snug clothes (that still fit and look good) as a reminder of where I want to be be going. And/or, I wear an item of clothing that used to be too small but fits great now, again as a reminder.

It's all mind games...

[Arctic Mama]

This would be why I ditched my scale, even though I've been a daily weigher for years. I realized I was augmenting my habits depending on the scale input - good day equals more laxity, higher weight day equals more strictness.

Now. That is necessary in maintenance, which I am really good at. And I was doing maintenance before, so I got acclimated to that habit. But when losing, the scale means next to nothing and CHANGING behavior based on the scale is absolutely ridiculous. It isn't the scale that makes us lose weight - it is our actions and choices. So I had my husband hide the scale so my only focus would be on spending each day as perfectly on plan as I could. That is my success - all the good choices of the day - not a scale reading.

And whenever I do finally weigh in I know I WILL be rewarded for my consistency and dedication. But that is the sort of thing that only shows up after time. The short term might not reflect those good choices in an obvious way, and I don't need that psyching me out. I need to be consistent and persistent, and I don't need the scale to do that

[KindaSortaAthlete]

I can relate to this. I can't tell you how many time I've seen my lowest number yet on the scale, then go out to eat that night and eat crap, and then have it take weeks before I see that low number again. I often feel like I get in cycles of just "catching up" to that lower number.

It's a really stupid circle, I get so happy with the low number, then go and do something that will take that number away. Why? Ugh.

[kaplods]

I can relate, but had to stop using the word sabotage, both in referring to my own behavior and to that of others, even in my head.

The word implies purposeful efforts (my own or that of loved ones) to prevent my success, and it made me believe that on some level, the saboteur wanted me to fail, and when I saw that the saboteur was myself, it often led me down the path of self-fulfilling prophecy.

Instead, now I just look at defeating behavior as a reinforced habit I want to change and have to be vigilant to change, because the auto-pilot default behaviors are bad habits that don't disappear without a great deal of work.

I think the self-defeating behaviors are often dieting "traditions." Rewarding weight loss with "treat" foods is a "tradition," many of us learn. Even as a child, being forced to diet, my parents and grandparents would reward successful weight loss with a treat-cheat celebration meal. I have to "unlearn" many ineffective behaviors, traditions, and rituals.

Changing behavior is always challenging, but with cultural traditions and even simple bad habits, it is especially difficult to change long-standing behaviors.

Some of my self-defeating bad habits, traditions, and rituals are decades old. Rewarding weight loss with trigger foods has been a tradition for as long as I've struggled with my weight (since kindergarten 42 years ago). A 42 year habit is difficult to beat. I do fine so long as I'm consciously focused on suppressing those habits, but I can't let up on that focus. When my guard is down, whether because of stressful situations or celebratory doesn't matter. I can't allow myself to revert to "autopilot" because autopilot will alwayscbe the oldest habits.

[amandie]

Originally Posted by kaplods

I think the self-defeating behaviors are often dieting "traditions." Rewarding weight loss with "treat" foods is a "tradition," many of us learn. Even as a child, being forced to diet, my parents and grandparents would reward successful weight loss with a treat-cheat celebration meal. I have to "unlearn" many ineffective behaviors, traditions, and rituals.

I agree with your whole post but just wanted to focus on that paragraph because I think that is my problem right there. Even though I say I don't reward with food (and drink), I do without really thinking about it or going on autopilot like you put it. I really need to keep a list of my reward goals and keep it where I can see it daily to remind myself and stop myself from rewarding with food and drink. Thanks for your post, Kaplods.