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Old 06-07-2013, 12:24 PM   #1
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Default i don't see it...

i don't know where to post this so i am sorry if this is not the best place for it...

i don't see it. i don't see myself as being able to lose weight.

i know this is completely ridiculous. you reduce your calorie intake, increase your exercise, and you lose weight. and for some reason, even though this sounds very logic, and i do not have any real impediment to lose weight... i don't see it happening.

i try for one day and give up. i feel it's pointless to keep trying. i get discouraged, after just one day!!!!!

i have recently gained 7 kg (more than 15 pounds) and i just... can't. and i see people here that lose 20, 50, 100 pounds!!!! and i am here complaining about 15?

but like i said, i can't, cause i don't see it possible. i give up before i even start. and i do not know why. no one can answer this but me, but if anyone has words of wisdom or support... or ideas... i really need it.

thank you
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Old 06-07-2013, 12:29 PM   #2
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Henry Ford's famous quote comes to mind:

"Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you are probably right."

In other words, until you believe in yourself, it's not going to happen.

You are so worth it! Start believing in yourself; you can do this!
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Old 06-07-2013, 12:36 PM   #3
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Maybe you're doing too much all at once, or maybe even just focusing too much on the scale? If you're making small changes that you can live with, why would you feel the need to give up? Making immediate, monumental changes to your life often backfires for people. One step at a time, one day at a time.
Personally, I didn't even start with the intention of losing weight. I didn't count calories, didn't check portions, didn't weigh myself, didn't exercise - none of that. All I did was ask to go along with my mom to get groceries, consciously make better decisions about WHAT I was eating, and consider how various foods made me feel awhile after eating them. I also started drinking more water.
After about 2 weeks of that, I was fairly startled to see that I had lost a few pounds. I have tried and tried to lose weight before, and it had never happened. But just being more aware of my diet, I DID lose weight. I also identified a wheat allergy (I had my suspicions before, but never was willing to admit it) and confirmed a dairy sensitivity. Armed with this knowledge, I was finally able to start on this very successful weight loss journey.
When it comes down to it, you can't think of losing weight as a diet. You can't just go on a diet, lose some weight, and then return to your old eating habits. Things have to change. You'll have to put in some effort to change them. And yes, the progress may be slow at first. But it WILL pay off.
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Old 06-07-2013, 01:05 PM   #4
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I felt the same way when I started. For some reason, perhaps because I was overweight for so many years, I felt as if there was no way that I would lose weight. I knew logically that I should lose if I cut calories and start burning calories, but my mind wouldn't accept it. So, I just went through the motions anyway regardless of what I believed. I focused on health. I kept telling myself, "I'm eating healthier and exercising more, and that's what I'm focused on doing." I did not even weigh myself until I had been on plan for months, and when I finally did, I had already surpassed my maintenance goal. Of course, the weight DID come off, proving that my illogical thoughts were . . . well, illogical.

It can happen as long as you do what you know you need to do. I recommend focusing on changing your behaviors (i.e., adopting healthy behaviors) rather than focusing on the scale for now.
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Old 06-07-2013, 01:15 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loser59 View Post
i don't see it. i don't see myself as being able to lose weight.
You just need to accumulate some evidence to the contrary. There are many things I have trouble seeing myself doing, such as:
  • Eating moderately at an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant
  • Refusing high-quality cheesecake, crepes or creme brulee when they're on offer
  • Eating less than a whole box of fine Belgian chocolates when they're within reach
  • Steering clear of high-fat cheeses at wine-and-cheese events

And the list goes on... What I've found is that if I resist such irresistible (to me) temptations just ONCE, it gives me confidence and motivation for the next time. So I suggest you work on changing your most troublesome eating behaviours (whatever they are) just once. And then one more time. Every single time you resist, you strengthen the resistance pathways in your brain. Soon enough you'll realize that you have as much ability to lose weight as anyone else.

Freelance
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Old 06-07-2013, 01:21 PM   #6
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your posts made me smile, so i really appreciate it.

maybe you are right. i want too much too soon (i found out 1 week ago we are going to a hotel -read:bikini next weekend... and maybe an old eating disorder habit kicked in and said "you need to lose as much as possible in 10 days")

someone in my office is on a diet, and she loses like 1 to 2 lbs per week, and it seems like nothing, but it's been a month and of course those 1-2 pounds a week have turned to almost 8 pounds...

it sounds all very amazing but i feel i don't have the power to make sacrifices. if that makes any sense... i eat healthy things, i cannot say i am someone surrounded by fast food.
but i do tend to go for quick fixes, cereal, bread, chocolates... and that is what i need to be supressing/replacing...

ugh...
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Old 06-07-2013, 05:39 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freelancemomma View Post
You just need to accumulate some evidence to the contrary. There are many things I have trouble seeing myself doing, such as:
  • Eating moderately at an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant
  • Refusing high-quality cheesecake, crepes or creme brulee when they're on offer
  • Eating less than a whole box of fine Belgian chocolates when they're within reach
  • Steering clear of high-fat cheeses at wine-and-cheese events

And the list goes on... What I've found is that if I resist such irresistible (to me) temptations just ONCE, it gives me confidence and motivation for the next time. So I suggest you work on changing your most troublesome eating behaviours (whatever they are) just once. And then one more time. Every single time you resist, you strengthen the resistance pathways in your brain. Soon enough you'll realize that you have as much ability to lose weight as anyone else.

Freelance
This is so true. Failure begets failure. Success begets success. If you can stay on plan for ONE meal, it will build up the confidence to stay on plan for the next. That is what kept me going. After being success at staying on plan for several days, it turned into weeks and months. You begin to feel good about yourself and what you have accomplished, and then you don't want to let go of that feeling.
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Old 06-08-2013, 12:25 AM   #8
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Perhaps you could start your confidence building by changing your avatar to "Winner59"
Every little helps!
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Old 06-08-2013, 07:57 AM   #9
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I have no words of my own to share. But these are some of the quotes I read daily to keep me on track:

"Those who argue for their limitations generally get to keep them."

"If you want it, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse"

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."

"People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily." Zig Ziglar

"If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results." Jack Dixon
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"Binging is a descent into a world where every restriction... is cut loose. At its core is a feeling of deprivation.. a feeling you can never get enough. Binges do not signify a lack of willpower or inability to care for yourself. On the contrary, binges are a urgent attempt to care for yourself when you feel uncared for. They are the voice of survival. Binges are the mark of the self that says, 'I am tired of feeling deprived, of being told I am wrong, that I am bad." - Geneen Roth
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Old 06-08-2013, 09:18 AM   #10
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great quotes.. thank you.. i'll see to put them somewhere where i can read them often!
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