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Feeling down and unmotivated

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Old 06-03-2013, 11:12 PM   #1
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Default Feeling down and unmotivated

So I joined this forum in despiration of some support and for people that "get" how I have been feeling latley. I have never joined a forum community before so I am looking forward to the experence.

So I will give you a bit of my story.....

All through high school I was around 120-130 (and thought I was fat then lol teenagers). Once I moved out with my now husband when I was 22 I started packing on pounds.....wheather it was the freedom to eat junk for dinner or the fact that I was leaving my teenage years. I held steady at 160-165 for the last 5 years or so, but last year was my wedding so I was bound and determined to lose some weight.....and stressed! So I counted calories and the wight seemed to fall off, however I think it was do to running around planning a wedding and being super stressed...not from calorie counting at all.
So I got down to 145 for the wedding was looking and feeling great! But not long after I signed the marriage certifacate and thing calmed down I started to gain again. So by December last year I was back up to 160....then in January I decided to make a huge life change and quit smoking! It was a challenge but I have been smoke free for 4 months now.....but there was one big side effect was pounds!!!! I put on 15lbs in four months and I feel awful.
I haven't stopped putting pounds on either seems like every week is another pound, probably cause sweets make me happy for a minute or so. I know my current weight might not seem like much to some, but for me it is totally uncomfortable and make me very self conscious. None of my clothes fit anymore I only have 2 pair of pant that I can wear. I have a wonderful husband who tries to support me but doesn't understand how crappy I feel and thinks I am just being crazy. He also has an insane metabolism and can eat cookies and cheeseburgers every single day and not gain a friggin pound.....so furstrating. I am eating chicken and salad everday while he scarfs burgers and fries, makes it harder for me, but I can't tell him what to eat...plus he is very picky and will only eat like 4 different things.

Anyways that my storey and I really hope I can build up the will power and start making some changes in my daily life. I feel rotten inside and feel like it may start to affect my marriage soon as I have lost my sexiness and I am rarely happy anymore.

Thanks for lending an ear!

Last edited by Samiannie : 06-03-2013 at 11:16 PM.
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Old 06-03-2013, 11:38 PM   #2
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I know the feeling all to well. Congrats on quitting smoking, that must have been a very difficult battle. With that being said, if you can quit smoking you also have the power inside of you to change your eating habits. Replacing one bad habit for another bad habit only leads to having to break the new bad habit later in life. I sugguest you pick a plan that is easiest for you to follow and excute it. Find another none food related habit that can be good for you, like exercise or journaling. Coming here to this site has helped me tons, when I feel like giving up I check in for support just like you have done today. Good luck, it will not be a easy journey but its well worth it and you can do it
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Old 06-03-2013, 11:56 PM   #3
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Hey, girl!! Just like the Freshman 15, there should be something called the wedding 30!! You've got a good background of being fit, and not that far to go, so it shouldn't be that hard to get back on track. You're right to nip it in the bud, though, before it becomes 45. Congrats on quitting smoking, and welcome to 3FC!
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Old 06-04-2013, 12:27 AM   #4
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Congratulations on quitting smoking!

As far as losing and maintaining. It's a lifestyle, NOT a diet.

Loss and maintaining is done in the kitchen, fitness is done through exercise.

We need to find balance in both.

Just for myself, I have found Weight Watchers to be my personal choice. The plan, gives you a daily allowance, but also has weekly flex point/calories, built into the plan for life's unexpected situations or to help you plan for things like weddings, graduations, holiday dinners, drinks with friends and so on.

For the record, I do eat a lot of salad, and other veggies, because I like them! However, you do not need to live on salad and chicken!

Want a taco? 93/7 hamburger, mix in one grated/shredded Zuchinni. (spelling). Adds a veggie, and allows for bulk without a ton of added calories. There are lots of healthy options now for tortillas, add lettuce, tomato, salsa and fat free sour cream!

Like hotwings? Cut skinless chicken breast into chunks. One packet of dry buffalo seasoning, add 1/4 cup of flour, toss chicken in it and bake! Fat free Ranch or blue cheese! Yum!

Friendly Ranch dip! Fage fat free plain yogurt, add ranch seasoning, dip your veggies! Add a little skim milk and you have awesome dressing!

Losing and maintaining, does not have to be painful, you just need to track/journal and be willing to be creative!

Exercise! Find something you like. I strength and stability train. It's what I like and it is functional fitness for my job.

Walking/jogging/biking, free! Pilates, Yoga, whatever!

As far as your picky hubby! Mine used to be that way too. I just started sneaking stuff in here and there. Lo and behold, he thought brussel sprouts were not to bad.

He is still picky, so the meat is done MY way, I do still make him hash browns, I nuke a baked potato, and we have 2 choices of veggies.

Breakfast is the one thing, he does not want to compromise on, so,,,,,,, he gets regular sausage or bacon and eggs. I do turkey sausage or turkey bacon and egg beaters. Some days, I just have a tuna sandwich for breakfast. Some days, I do a turkey bacon, lettuce, tomato sand!

In the end, it takes commitment and creativity and flexibility, and most of all PATIENCE!
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Old 06-04-2013, 08:48 AM   #5
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Congratulations on quitting smoking! Weight gain is sometimes inevitable when you quit but I know you can take it off!

About gaining weight when you get married - tell me about it! You're not the only one, getting married makes you "settle down." It's happened to me too mostly because I don't feel the need to impress men anymore or be flirtatious in anyway or draw any attention to myself in a suggestive way I guess. Anyway, gaining weight once you're married is pretty common.

If it's one thing I cannot tolerate it's picky eaters. I cook at home and if you don't like it, starve. Lucky me though I've got a husband who's naturally thin and naturally enjoys healthy food. (as if that's not annoying enough lol). If I fed him cheeseburgers and chicken wings every night he'd eat it without complaint. But my husband is in his 40's and he understands how important it is to eat healthy at this stage of our lives. ...... I suggest that you approach the man's sensitibilites rather than put down his likes/dislikes. Tell him that you really want to change your eating habits and that as a family you feel it's important that you take care of each other and be healthy for one another. And ask for his advice on how to go about getting healthier, what can you do to be more active together, and how you can motivate eachother to eat more nutritiously. You see, men like to FIX things and if he thinks this whole healthy thing is his idea he's more likely to be involved. Let us know how it works out!
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Old 06-08-2013, 12:26 AM   #6
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Thanks for the congrats on quitting smoking! It was hard but somehow not as hard as trying to stop eating junk! I try to tell myself that all the time if you can quit smoking after 12 years you should be able to make a food lifestyle change, but am finding it so difficult. I was thinking of doing visalus shakes.... My brothers bf sells I dunno so overwhelmed! I think the support of the forum will really help.
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Old 06-08-2013, 12:42 AM   #7
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Hi there Samiannie, I know the feeling well and one thing... very important thing is that whilst with the cigarettes you can stop those completely you still have to keep on eating! It's always having that temptation in front of you. Fact is tho' that you can do it and I am sure you will now you have taken this step and faced up to your addiction.
All the very best to you on your journey.
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Old 06-08-2013, 05:32 PM   #8
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Hey shamac looks like we have the same goal....how did you do? Just a lifestyle change dd you use any tools? I just don't know where to start.
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Old 06-09-2013, 01:01 PM   #9
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Hello Samiannie, I have done really well, the weight came off a lot quicker than I expected. When I first started I was really discouraged as well, I decided that depriving myself would not work since I tried so many of those type of diets

What has worked for me is eating very light or skipping breakfast and also eating a very light lunch( chicken breast & veggies). I love dinner so I decided I would remake my favorites at home, to try to skip a lot of unnecessary calories. I also exercise A LOT. Becoming more active is probably what really helped me move things along so quickly. I don't keep a strict count on my calories, I don't write anything down. However, I do try to stay under 1300 cals a day. I am very lenient on the weekends, but keep in mind I may take up to three exercise classes a day, two hours in the gym is my minimum 7 days a week.

If you have any questions at all feel free to ask.
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Old 06-09-2013, 09:12 PM   #10
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Thanks for the advice shamac! Is there no way to private message in these forums?

That's it!!!! I've had it.... Now my work clothes ( scrubs) don't fit me!!!!!! Tomorrow it's time.... I am going to buckle down and smartin up!!!! I need to get away from the junk food. I think I will try to calorie count and exercise. Here goes nothing I am gonna jump in with both feet! Thanks to everyone for listening to me and supporting!

Last edited by Samiannie : 06-09-2013 at 09:12 PM.
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Old 06-10-2013, 12:05 AM   #11
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Samiannie, I did try to private message you but an error came up that said you were not or could not accept private messages. So maybe you can try to send me a private message if you have anymore questions. When you click on the user pc there is an option to send private messages. Best of Luck to you on your journey !
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Old 06-10-2013, 12:48 AM   #12
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Thanks! Ya apparently I don't have enough posts yet to pm but keep in touch and way to go on almost reaching your goal hope we get to see some before and after pics!
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Old 06-10-2013, 09:27 AM   #13
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Congrats on the quitting smoking! That's a hard thing to do and I know in the long you'll feel better.

I agree with the others that this has to be a lifestyle change. I started and lost weight so many times it's unreal - but I would always gain it back. This time I'm finally down 29lbs and I feel like, for the first time, that I'll keep it off because I've totally made it a lifestyle.

For me, I started in Janurary. I said that I would commit to going to the gym 5 days a week for 6 months - regardless of weight lost, or how I felt - that I would just GO. And I have. But I also started counting calories. I use an app on my phone called myfitnesspal. I'm a stay at home mom so I don't have a lot of money for WW or anything of that nature so I had to find something free. I found that counting calories I realized how much I was eating and SLOWLY started making changes to eat better. I pretty much gave up fast food (except subway) and cook a long at home now. I try to not eat a lot of processed stuff (the sodium in a lot of it is ridiculous). But it took time. The diet changes were over a 4 month or so period - and I'm STILL making changes and will continue.

I think the key is to find and exercise you like - for me it's lifting weights - and to make small changes in your diet and you'll see change. Good luck!
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Old 06-10-2013, 11:03 AM   #14
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Thanks Samiannie!
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