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Old 05-21-2013, 03:18 PM   #1
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Default Do I deserve these clothes?

Yesterday I went clothes shopping. I found myself buying the smallest clothes I have ever purchased, which I was happy about. At the same time, part of me also kept doubting myself, thinking that I shouldn't be spending so much money on clothes that may not fit for long. By nature, I'm a practical person. I know the stats on regaining and I'm sure that's where my counterproductive thinking is coming from. I was wondering what other issues people are facing as they buy new clothes.
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Old 05-21-2013, 03:29 PM   #2
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YES! You deserve them Don't think that you are going to gain back the weight...if you keep telling yourself that, then it will happen. Be positive and be proud of buying those clothes.
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Old 05-21-2013, 03:29 PM   #3
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You could have been reading my mind these last few weeks.

I have bought so many clothes but they were all great deals! My limit on any clothing piece is $7 (I pulled that number out of the sky one day). The only exception I have made to that rule in the past few months was for a pair of jeans ($14.99) and a pair of capris (19.99).

I feel really guilty spending money now since I have been outgrowing (in a good way!) my clothes so fast compared to when I was in the 300s (I could wear the same clothes for 30-40lbs) whereas now it's about 12-15lbs that changes my body drastically.

I will say, I have bought some smaller clothes to look forward to since they were such great prices. I got some tops at Old Navy, Macys and Kohls for $3-$4 after my coupons that would have been silly to leave behind (and they are really nice!). I went closet shopping today and am finally on the smallest sizes now (14-16 but from years ago so they are smaller than the stores today). I hope (!!) by July that none of my old clothes fit anymore and I'll have to make some serious decisions for wardrobe pieces (like 1 black skirt, 1 black pair of pants, etc.) and then a few interchangeable tops.

This weighloss thing is awesome and I can't believe how motivating it is to buy smaller clothes. And we deserve (within budget reasons!) to look nice. And the prices I paid for new clothes in the store were actually cheaper than my local Goodwill store (their clothes are $4.99 and up, unless it's a special tag sale which makes them 50% off).
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Old 05-21-2013, 03:49 PM   #4
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Yes yes yes, you deserve it!

The smallest size in my closet 6 months ago was a 16. Now I'm 10/12, so I've had to buy everything. Well, everything except undies that are way too big but nobody sees them anyway!

I have a bit of a system now. I always have 2 pairs of jeans and 1 pair of black pants that fit. 6 work shirts and 3-4 tshirt. 2 pairs of denim shorts and 1 pair of sports shorts. At least 2 pairs of workout pants and 2 workout tops. 1 pair of PJ pants. 1 dress, 1 bathing suit.

That's it. When one thing gets too big, I replace it. I am 4 lbs from my goal, but I am going to try to make it to 155. Once I see where I'm maintaining, I'll start to build a real wardrobe.
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Old 05-21-2013, 04:35 PM   #5
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I might be the wrong person to ask, because I ordered a whole bunch of clothes yesterday--all on sale, but still a bunch.

Why? Because I can. Because I want to feel and look good and I feel better in clothes that fit well.

Yes, I hope to ingrow(?) them fairly quickly or whatever we call it when we shrink out of our clothes. That's okay. I will donate them somewhere and someone will benefit from that and I will feel better for having been dressed well at both home and work. (Although I probably did go a bit over the top)

I realize not everybody has that option. For me, though, feeling good in my clothes is important--and I think it'll even help me to keep on track since I want to continue to feel good in those clothes (even as I'm shrinking out of them)

I do admit, though, it was with a touch of sadness that I dropped a cardigan sweater in the Good Will pile this morning--it goes BEAUTIFULLY with the shell I'm wearing today--or it would have, if it wasn't falling off my shoulders.

Every person losing weight knows what his/her budget can handle. Within those boundaries, be kind to yourself.
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Old 05-21-2013, 04:50 PM   #6
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So, just to clarify, what you're thinking is that you don't deserve to buy cute clothes that fit you and that you like because there's a possibility you might re-gain?

Stop with the negative self-talk!

Is there a chance you will re-gain? Well, yes. There's always that chance. But by not allowing yourself to enjoy the body you have now and feel good in it, you're setting yourself up for failure. You might as well be saying that the success you've enjoyed won't last and you deserve to be fat, so you had better hold onto your "fat clothes" because you're going to be needing them soon.

Give away the clothes you've outgrown. Buy something that makes you feel confident and sexy. Don't be afraid to be successful!
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Old 05-21-2013, 04:51 PM   #7
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I'm certainly not going to tell you that you don't deserve new clothes! Of course you deserve them! You feel good about yourself and want to look nice. I'm super excited about a gorgeous dress I got at TJMaxx yesterday. It fits like a glove and is going to be perfect for summer.
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Old 05-21-2013, 05:08 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moving Forward View Post
I know the stats on regaining and I'm sure that's where my counterproductive thinking is coming from.
I suppose one could say the same thing about marriage stats, but the high rate of divorce doesn't seem to stop anyone from tying the knot! Even though there's a risk in being optimistic, I think we have to take that risk. You don't want to send yourself the message that you're destined to fail, which could be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Another way to look at it is that buying nice clothes is empowering and can help you stay the course. Shallow as it sounds, my new wardrobe is a big part of what motivates me to "keep on pushing" in maintenance.

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Old 05-21-2013, 05:13 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Missy Krissy View Post
So, just to clarify, what you're thinking is that you don't deserve to buy cute clothes that fit you and that you like because there's a possibility you might re-gain?

Stop with the negative self-talk!

Is there a chance you will re-gain? Well, yes. There's always that chance. But by not allowing yourself to enjoy the body you have now and feel good in it, you're setting yourself up for failure. You might as well be saying that the success you've enjoyed won't last and you deserve to be fat, so you had better hold onto your "fat clothes" because you're going to be needing them soon.

Give away the clothes you've outgrown. Buy something that makes you feel confident and sexy. Don't be afraid to be successful!
I agree! Don't set yourself up for failure! "Burn your ships!" (I'll explain below.)

Its one thing not to buy clothes during a transitional period when you're still losing weight. I am like that. But you are at your goal weight. If you refuse to buy clothes because you are afraid of regaining, then you are leaving the door open to failure. Close the door. Believe me, I let that notion creep in when I was wondering whether I should donate my big clothes to charity or not. I hesitated about 10 seconds before I said, "heck yes, I'm giving these close away!" It was my "burning of the ships" - to make an analogy to Spanish Conquistador Hernán Cortés' burning of his ships upon arriving in the new world as motivation to succeed (or take away the option of failure).

From this article: http://successsecretsatkempskorner.b...urn-ships.html

"Cortez was committed to his mission and his quest for riches is legendary. Cortez was an excellent motivator, he convinced more than 500 soldiers and 100 sailors to set sail from Spain to Mexico, commanding 11 ships, to take the world’s riches treasure. The historic question is “how a small band of Spanish soldiers arrived in a strange country and swiftly brought about the overthrow of a large and powerful empire that was in power for over six centuries?”

For Cortez, the answer was easy. It was all or nothing! A Complete and Total Commitment. Here’s how Cortez got the “buy in” from the rest of his men. He took away the option of failure. It was conquer and be hero’s and enjoy the spoils of victory…or DIE! When Cortez and his men arrived on the shores of the Yucatan he rallied the men for one final pep talk before leading his men into battle, and utters these three words that changed the course of history. “Burn the Ships”.

He met with resistance from his men. "Burn the ships," he repeated. He then uttered these words "if we are going home, we are going home in their ships". With that, Cortez and his men burned their own ships, and by burning their own ships, the commitment level of the men was raised to a whole new level. A level much higher than any of the men, including Cortez, could have ever imagined."

DISCLAIMER: I googled "Cortes" and picked the first article I found to post. I have no idea who wrote it, and it could be full of inaccuracies!
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Old 05-21-2013, 05:29 PM   #10
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Burn the ships indeed! Love it. I got rid of another batch of clothes last night.
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Old 05-21-2013, 05:47 PM   #11
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I spent many wasted years thinking I didn't deserve nice things because I was fat, and wouldn't deserve them until I got thin. My whole life was put on hold, waiting to deserve it, postponing all the good things in life until I deserved them (and only goal weight deserved rewarding) or until I got sick of the deprivation and binged (the only reward I allowed myself because it was as much punishment as reward). Dieting was done by harsh, miserable means because I didn't deserve better.

By nature I've always been an optimistic, generous person - liking myself and others. I never could muster the level of punishment and self-loathing needed to reach goal weight (or even come close except once, aided by prescription diet pills that made my heart race), but I had no role-models for any alternative to self-loathing and punishment.

Then I encountered the fat acceptance movement and encountered the revolutionary idea that I deserved a full and rewarding life NOW, not someday in the future, if and only if I was "good" and deprived myself to lose enough weight.

I didn't decide that staying deliberately fat was an admiral goal, but I did learn that I deserved to eat food that was healthy and delicious; I deserved to move my body in fun ways - even in public; that I deserved comfortable, well-fitting, and attractive clothing and accessories NOW and always, not just at a certain size; I had a right to live, love, and be loved at every size.

Feeling deserving, helped me finally begin to take control of my health and weight, not as a way to punish my fat self, but as a way to love and pamper myself regardless of my current size. I deserve to eat delicious, healthy food and I deserve to wear clothes that fit and look good now.

I still need a little nudging from my loving husband to remember this sometimes because I'm also a bit of a cheapskate, and I want to get as much wear from my clothing at the best price, but not anymore because I don't deserve better.

I will say that it's a lot easier to maintain weight losses and stay on plan via pampering than punishment.
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Old 05-21-2013, 05:54 PM   #12
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If there was a "like" button for Kaplod's post, I'd press it a gazillion times.
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Old 05-21-2013, 06:26 PM   #13
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I am only a little over half way to goal, but I have been getting rid of everything I outgrrow as it happens. I actually donated a contractor's trash bag to our local clothes closet. I also have been buying clothes (along with closet shopping) as I go down sizes. I am being a little frugal by making sure they are on sale, but I figure I am working hard on my weight loss and I want to look good as my body looks better. I also have found that when I dress in clothes that both look good and actually fit, I am more motivated to keep losing! For example, today at work I wore a cute little swingy skirt that I "shopped" from my closet along with a semi-clingy tshirt that I bought on clearance at Loft for well under $10. This time last year (or even a few months ago) I would have never worn this outfit without a cardigan, but now, I feel much more comfortable in my own skin. So I say don't feel guilty and get rid of your clothes that don't fit anymore! You do not need the crutch!
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Old 05-21-2013, 08:11 PM   #14
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Just like Jennifer, I have rid myself of every speck of clothing as soon as it got big. You definitely deserve new, flattering, happy clothes. The only issue I face in buying new clothes is forcing myself not to buy something because it fits, but rather being choosy about only buying things that I need, fit, look good, and are the right price.
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Old 05-21-2013, 08:26 PM   #15
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I bought clothes throughout losing weight , I think it help spur me onto goal !
I claim the positive ! So By holding myself accountable I am worthy of investing in and pampered to the best of my ability.
Being a Martyr is one of the things that help make me fat! Nurturing and showing myself the care I did to my family ....is bringing balance to my life!

If I begrudge myself a few nice pieces of clothing ....than what does that say about what I think I'm worth? I am very valuable person to my family ... And my teenage daughter wants be looking Decent soo not to bring undo attention to myself! LOL!!!

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