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Old 05-16-2013, 07:20 PM   #1
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Unhappy Fat and Depressed

I've struggled with my weight my whole life. I remember being in elementary school eating carrot sticks and an apple while everyone around me ate those gummy snacks and cookies. So why have I always been chubby?

I've literally been yo-yo dieting my whole life. Now 26 I have recently reached my heaviest 239, and this has happened in the past year, 10 of those lbs I've put on in the past month. I believe part of it is due to a crappy migraine medication (a whole separate issue) and part of it is due to unhealthy eating and a sedentary lifestyle.

For the past few months I have avoided all of my friends and any large social functions because I feel awful about mysef. Nobody has seen me this big. My clothes don't fit good. I just don't want to be seen. I'd rather stay in my house and eat...and the cycle continues. I now think I may be on the brinks of depression. I didn't go to my friends baby shower, another friends wedding, etc. I know, I feel like a really shitty person. But that's why I'm here. I need change.

Over the past few years I can remember one amazing summer where I dropped just 10lbs for a friends wedding, I weighed about 200lbs and looked and felt wonderful. I know to most people that is still morbidly obese, but to me that's an achievable weight that I can actually remember weighing. I think that was the last time I actually had confidence in the way I looked. I felt good in my clothes, I liked how I looked, and because of that I actually looked forward to social situations.

I want to be me again. I want to be that confident social butterfly. Now where do I start? I've tried atkins, failed miserably and gained more weight back. I've been on phentermine multiple times, that works, but I took one yesterday and still ate chocolate and wendys like it was my job. I have zero energy, again due to a stupid migraine medication, but if I don't take it I will lay around with a headache anyway, so it's a lose lose.

For the past few hours I've been trying to convince myself to get off the couch and do laundry and then do some zumba on the wii, but I wrote this instead. Help!
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Old 05-16-2013, 07:40 PM   #2
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I don't have the magic formula for you. I've learned that there just comes a time when you've truly "had it." It's a mental click during which you realize that losing weight is worth more to you than food, wanting to sit around, etc. It's sort of like hitting rock bottom.

However, I have found that sometimes thinking about how far one has to go can be a detriment to starting. That's why it sometimes helps to initially focus on behavioral goals rather than weight loss goals. For instance, you might focus on cutting out snacks at night and walking during lunch (those are just examples; you choose what to focus on). Those are achievable. Even if you're not perfect with them (and most people aren't), if you can make gradual changes that you do most of the time, that will make a difference. Once you get the ball rolling, so to speak, that usually will inspire you to make even more changes.

You aren't alone, though. Read through some posts here, and you'll pick up even more pointers. Good luck!
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Old 05-16-2013, 08:07 PM   #3
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Depression and weight issues goes hand in hand. Sucks. I know. It sounds like your ready and that's all the motivation you need. I get asked all the time what made me want to loose the weight. I don't know that exact answer, just that I was ready. I took it one day at a time and I still do that 390 something days later. Make each day a victory and eventually they add up! Good luck and remember you ARE worth this journey.
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Old 05-16-2013, 08:24 PM   #4
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I'm sorry you're struggling! I was fat for years before I was finally 'ready' to change it, as Lin mentioned. Unless you're truly iron clad committed to changing the way you relate to diet and exercise its a long, hard road to manage your size. Even being fed up and miserable often isn't enough, it's got to 'click', and then it is just a matter of time and adherence.

It CAN be done, we lose two pounds the same way we lose two hundred; that is, one pound at a time. If a full lifestyle overhaul isn't something you can permanently adopt in one fell swoop, maybe focus on one good habit at a time? Or even just focus on not gaining, which is a victory in and of itself? Talk to your doctor as well - some migraine and depression medications are well known for messing up your hormones, especially serotonin. Some also cause out and out insulin resistance, as a documented side effect. It could be that a change in what you're taking could make this much easier on you.

I wish I had better advice, but nothing will work long term unless you're 'there' and willing to never go back to how you were eating and living before weight loss. Permanent changes in how you manage your health are what are needed, and those can't easily be forced. This site is so excellent for encouragement and examples of success, so maybe what someone says or has done will help it click for you - don't give up on yourself!
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Old 05-16-2013, 08:26 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonyasbug View Post
Depression and weight issues goes hand in hand. Sucks. I know. It sounds like your ready and that's all the motivation you need. I get asked all the time what made me want to loose the weight. I don't know that exact answer, just that I was ready. I took it one day at a time and I still do that 390 something days later. Make each day a victory and eventually they add up! Good luck and remember you ARE worth this journey.
Great advice - and something I totally forgot to mention. I don't take this in big chunks either. I just focus on the very next choice and making it a health promoting one. There is no past, no guilt, no ruminating on perceived failures, just moving forward one step at a time. That's life for me and will always be so
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Old 05-16-2013, 08:54 PM   #6
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I feel like I could have written this! Some of the things you mentioned echoed my own feelings a couple years ago when I hit my highest weight (which was 200+) but for me, I knew the only thing that would take me out of my "weight depression" was some form of quick weight loss. Which I know is bad, and unhealthy, but I didn't take supplements or anything. I had a friend who did Dukan diet we did the "attack phase" together which is basically all protein (kinda like ideal protein diet) you lose a few lbs pretty quickly, but it's exactly what kept me going, and I'm still on doing it!

I feel like you should find something that is sustainable and not feel like "work" it should be something that even after your goal weight is reached you could keep up with. If you havent' heard of Dukan I would look it up! There isn't any calorie counting, and it's basically low carb/sugar and I love it! YOu don't have to buy anything extra either, it's just picking healthier choices.

This is coming from someone who has a major sweet tooth too. I would buy little debbie snacks and keep a backup of them and not exercise (thank god no one knows me on here otherwise I would never admit to this!) but I'm just saying I know what it's like to feel really trapped and feel like there isn't a way but trust me there is!! I'm 26 too and two years ago when I was my highest weight for 5 months I didn't go anywhere, no social events, no birthday dinners (not even my own), it was awful. I knew I had to make a change quickly instead of giving myself a false sense of hope that I would change "one day".

Anyway, didn't mean to write that much! but your message sounds exactly like something I would write! and also just wanted to say the fact that you're on here looking for help is a great start!! There is a wealth of information on this site. I love the 3FC community! You can do this!!!
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Starting measurements
8/23/12--->42-37-45 (200lbs)
10/4/12--->41-37-44 (190lbs)
4/09/13--->40-36-42 (180lbs)
5/18/13--->40-34-42 (170lbs)
3/01/14--->40-34-42 (170lbs)
9/15/14--- (173lbs)
1/8/15---> 40-35-43 (179lbs)
2/08/15--------------176lbs

Last edited by hhm6 : 05-16-2013 at 08:55 PM.
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Old 05-16-2013, 09:32 PM   #7
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There is nothing better I could say, and no wiser advice I could give than the lovely people who have already shared their wisdom...but I just wanted to wish you luck and welcome to 3FC.
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Old 05-16-2013, 10:01 PM   #8
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Just know that you're not alone
Lots of us have the same issues. I have been overweight for way too long now. I know how you feel. Some days-getting out of bed sucks.
You're not alone.
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Old 05-16-2013, 10:24 PM   #9
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As discusses above more than one person can relate, I am 25 and haven't seen a 1XX in my weight in 10 years + its even hard for me to imagine how it would feel. I love food with a passion but I love me more and I want to go to the mall into more than 1 store since thats the only one that sell clothes that fit me, or get out of the women section and start using clothes for people my age!. Its a hardcore journey which I started only a little over a month ago but it all starts with one choice and from there you can see that life is more fun when you can go up the stairs without feeling you will get a heart attack any minute.
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Old 05-17-2013, 12:50 AM   #10
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Wow, I am surprised how many of you responded. Thank you! It's good to know I'm not alone. I love all of the ideas and support. You're all amazing
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Old 05-17-2013, 01:01 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hhm6 View Post
I feel like I could have written this! Some of the things you mentioned echoed my own feelings a couple years ago when I hit my highest weight (which was 200+) but for me, I knew the only thing that would take me out of my "weight depression" was some form of quick weight loss. Which I know is bad, and unhealthy, but I didn't take supplements or anything. I had a friend who did Dukan diet we did the "attack phase" together which is basically all protein (kinda like ideal protein diet) you lose a few lbs pretty quickly, but it's exactly what kept me going, and I'm still on doing it!

I feel like you should find something that is sustainable and not feel like "work" it should be something that even after your goal weight is reached you could keep up with. If you havent' heard of Dukan I would look it up! There isn't any calorie counting, and it's basically low carb/sugar and I love it! YOu don't have to buy anything extra either, it's just picking healthier choices.

This is coming from someone who has a major sweet tooth too. I would buy little debbie snacks and keep a backup of them and not exercise (thank god no one knows me on here otherwise I would never admit to this!) but I'm just saying I know what it's like to feel really trapped and feel like there isn't a way but trust me there is!! I'm 26 too and two years ago when I was my highest weight for 5 months I didn't go anywhere, no social events, no birthday dinners (not even my own), it was awful. I knew I had to make a change quickly instead of giving myself a false sense of hope that I would change "one day".

Anyway, didn't mean to write that much! but your message sounds exactly like something I would write! and also just wanted to say the fact that you're on here looking for help is a great start!! There is a wealth of information on this site. I love the 3FC community! You can do this!!!
Yes, exactly!! Everything you said I can relate to, the stashes of sweets, no exercise, telling myself I'll lose the weight "one day".

I lost 7 lbs in one week on Atkins about 2 months ago...then I quit and gained it all back plus 10 more. Low carb was really hard for me. Im not a big meat person and I found that the more I told myself I couldn't have carbs and sugar the more I wanted it. Ugh. It's going to be like that with any diet though. My mom just lost 20lbs on atkins too, of course she is probably 100lbs less than me, go figure, but she could live off of bacon, eggs, cheese and butter. Puke.

Dukan sounds a little bit like atkins? What'd you eat during the attack phase?
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Old 05-17-2013, 01:08 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arctic Mama View Post
I'm sorry you're struggling! I was fat for years before I was finally 'ready' to change it, as Lin mentioned. Unless you're truly iron clad committed to changing the way you relate to diet and exercise its a long, hard road to manage your size. Even being fed up and miserable often isn't enough, it's got to 'click', and then it is just a matter of time and adherence.

It CAN be done, we lose two pounds the same way we lose two hundred; that is, one pound at a time. If a full lifestyle overhaul isn't something you can permanently adopt in one fell swoop, maybe focus on one good habit at a time? Or even just focus on not gaining, which is a victory in and of itself? Talk to your doctor as well - some migraine and depression medications are well known for messing up your hormones, especially serotonin. Some also cause out and out insulin resistance, as a documented side effect. It could be that a change in what you're taking could make this much easier on you.

I wish I had better advice, but nothing will work long term unless you're 'there' and willing to never go back to how you were eating and living before weight loss. Permanent changes in how you manage your health are what are needed, and those can't easily be forced. This site is so excellent for encouragement and examples of success, so maybe what someone says or has done will help it click for you - don't give up on yourself!

Ahh yes how true. I need to focus on one lb at a time. One lb a week is 52lbs at the end of a year! I can't wait to read your blog!
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Old 05-17-2013, 01:10 AM   #13
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As I look at all of your little weight loss tickers I am dying to know how you all lost your weight?
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Old 05-17-2013, 09:48 AM   #14
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I know exactly how you feel. I'm depressed about my weight too. But commit to a plan and you can do it!
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Old 05-17-2013, 09:28 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by needchangenow View Post
Yes, exactly!! Everything you said I can relate to, the stashes of sweets, no exercise, telling myself I'll lose the weight "one day".

I lost 7 lbs in one week on Atkins about 2 months ago...then I quit and gained it all back plus 10 more. Low carb was really hard for me. Im not a big meat person and I found that the more I told myself I couldn't have carbs and sugar the more I wanted it. Ugh. It's going to be like that with any diet though. My mom just lost 20lbs on atkins too, of course she is probably 100lbs less than me, go figure, but she could live off of bacon, eggs, cheese and butter. Puke.

Dukan sounds a little bit like atkins? What'd you eat during the attack phase?
I'm going to PM you with the details! I feel like I might derail this thread otherwise lol
__________________



Starting measurements
8/23/12--->42-37-45 (200lbs)
10/4/12--->41-37-44 (190lbs)
4/09/13--->40-36-42 (180lbs)
5/18/13--->40-34-42 (170lbs)
3/01/14--->40-34-42 (170lbs)
9/15/14--- (173lbs)
1/8/15---> 40-35-43 (179lbs)
2/08/15--------------176lbs
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