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The Word Forever

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Old 05-12-2013, 09:22 AM   #1
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Question The Word Forever

I was wondering if its just me that finds the word forever/the idea of forever seriously demotivating. I know I need to make changes, that they are long term changes and, if they work and are healthy, that they should be permanent but the idea of forever and permanently makes me feel.... Trapped. Like its too big a commitment. Too big a responsibility. Too easy a thing to completely mess up and fail at. It makes me feel rubbish. But not acknowledging it feels like I'm not taking this seriously enough. I end up in a mind loop of uncertainty (and while I'm frozen I pretty much fall back on the bad eating habits I have at the moment).

So, to try and manage that I'm trying to focus on wee goals, the short term. But I just wondered if anyone else feels the same or similar (and what you do to counteract it)
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Old 05-12-2013, 10:05 AM   #2
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How about not forever.... Try thinking just for today? sometimes not stretching things out infinitely but just for a short period of time helps But yes... trying to be healthy person is a permanent change or you get back to the bad habits (which eating badly just is) and gaining weight, lose muscle etc) So think... Daily..... not lifelong... Just a thought... It just makes it seem not so overwhelming

Mini Goal 10% off (289) 4/14/13 #2 50lbs (270) 6/18/13 # 3 1/2 way (240) 1/18/14 #4 100lbs (220) 6/5/14 #5 (199)

You have to believe it first and then you will see it!!

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to Rauros Falls 1309 miles
traveled: 1060.75 (exercise miles only) started 3/1/13
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Old 05-12-2013, 10:06 AM   #3
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I used to feel the same way.... back when I wasn't ready to lose weight. Now the word forever means something totally different for me. I do not want to eat cheetos forever, I do not want to feel forever trapped by my compulsive eating, I do not want to forever be tempted by food. Really, why should food rule my life forever? I want my forever to be about enjoying my activities, my life, my family and my friends, I want my forever to be consumed with living.

Many people die because of diseases related to obesity. That was the forever they died with, I don't want that for me.

"If you pay attention to when you are hungry, what your body wants, what you are eating, when you've had enough, you end the obsession because obsession and awareness cannot coexist." - Geneen Roth
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Old 05-12-2013, 10:16 AM   #4
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I find the word "forever" empowering this time around!!

I never have to weigh in the 200s again, forever.

I now know how to eat properly and see the rewards both physically and medically (in blood tests, etc.) and want to keep seeing these benefits, forever.

This is the first summer that I am looking forward to in regards to sundresses, shorts, bathing suits (yikes!), all summer clothes (and not being covered up in long shirts and long pants to pretend I wasn't large or because nothing fit). I want to look forward to future summers this same way, forever.

I love riding my bike, going on long walks, learning to run right now, and I want to be physically active as it makes me feel better in my body and my mind. I want this feeling forever.

So yes, FOREVER makes me extremely giddy about my future and to finally have a plan and proof that it works, to keep doing what I am doing calms me down and brings me inner peace with myself. And I want those too, you guessed it, forever!
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Old 05-12-2013, 10:17 AM   #5
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Yes , it's like you read my mind and put it all in writing. It's exactly how I feel but never knew how to express it. I too feel trapped sometimes and always vulnerable. I know that is the old me, the heavy me that makes me feel that way. I have to realize along with the weight loss I have to change my way of thinking too. Our inner monologue can really do a number on us huh?! I don't know the answer to any of this because its all new to me. I'm 10 pounds from goal and I'm more afraid now than ever. I'm trying to let that fear motivate me. I hope you can figure out how to overcome these thoughts and turn them into a posituve voice a day at a time. I will try to do the same. Good luck and thank you!
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Old 05-12-2013, 10:45 AM   #6
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Oh yes forever was intimidating at first. And so I made myself a promise, during this weight loss, I would NOT do anything that I could not do forever. So initially that meant my exercise was walking 3 miles per week (broken up however I wanted), and following "The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet". After a couple of months, I felt I could up that, so I did. Eventually, over a course of 2 1/2 years, I now typically eat 1500-1600 calories, and do Crossfit and running several times a week for exercise. Now I have more of the sentiment you see above, but it definitely did NOT start that way. I had to build up to it, baby step by baby step.
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Old 05-12-2013, 01:27 PM   #7
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You guys are so inspiring! You've really got your heads on straight!

forever totally sounds overwhelming to me! As soon as I think it, I want to go out and break all my rules! So I don't say or think it. I do two weeks or one week or even one day.

But the idea of being strong and fit forever sounds really good!

Goal? Slim, elegant, faux Parisienne!

Last edited by Just Dance Girl : 05-12-2013 at 01:28 PM.
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Old 05-12-2013, 02:24 PM   #8
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Wow Wannabeskinny and Elvislover really put "forever" into perspective! They're so right, I don't want to be forever trapped by compulsive eating, and I want to feel better in my body forever. Thanks ladies!

OP - I think know how you feel, it's a bit frightening to think that this has to be a permanent change isn't it? That you will forever have to be mindful of what you're eating. Don't let it discourage you! I really think that some major insight has been given here. And, if you're worried about missing your favorite unhealthy foods/junk foods, remember that you don't have to be on plan 24/7/365/forever, once you get into the swing of things you can always plan "cheat" days for yourself to keep from feeling deprived. Eventually you'll find a balance!

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No longer obese achieved 10/12/12
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Old 05-12-2013, 03:46 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by slw2013 View Post
I was wondering if its just me that finds the word forever/the idea of forever seriously demotivating. I know I need to make changes, that they are long term changes and, if they work and are healthy, that they should be permanent but the idea of forever and permanently makes me feel.... Trapped.
I've already described how I don't do "forever" -- the loss feels too great to me, with no feelings of virtue to offset it. I've devised ways of incorporating my biggest vices into my life by placing very firm limits on them. I only smoke when I'm travelling on business and I only eat with no restraint (4,000 cals+ at a sitting) when I'm at an all-you-can-eat Asian restaurant or gourmet catered affair. Both the smoking and eating events happen about 6-8 times per year. I don't recommend this approach for everyone, though. It would have to work with your psychology.

That said, there's no reason to give up ANY of your favourite foods, unless you actually want to. You can incorporate regular treats into any eating plan, and doing so is mentally healthy, IMO.

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Old 05-12-2013, 03:49 PM   #10
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After feeling ill from eating two donuts on Tuesday after months of gluten freedom, I do know that I want to be gluten/wheat free forever.

I do know I want to be in the 120s or lower forever so my Capris will fit as my legs are too short to wear regular jeans & it forever will be a pain to find clothes that fit right if I can't wear the Capris or shorts & this is Arizona & it is going to be hot here in the summertime forever.

I want to be forever free of food ruling me & want to enjoy & rule it forever.

I forever want to stay as healthy as I can & enjoy exercise forever and I will feel that way forever. I will forever be non perfect & forever subject to losing focusing on the journey & regressing but I will forever keep trying.
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Old 05-12-2013, 04:11 PM   #11
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Forever in weightloss is a piece of cake compared to forever in marriage, for example.

It's a walk in the park.

The only things you can control in this life are your own decisions.

So control them. Forever.

Running because of Diana
Believing because of Sue
Elvis lives!
Getting fashion advice from Sum
ReillyJ and Carpediem saved my knees!
Don't believe the hype. EAT MORE FISH.
If the bar ain't bendin', you're just pretendin'!

Last edited by IanG : 05-12-2013 at 04:15 PM.
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Old 05-12-2013, 07:28 PM   #12
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Life taught me through thick and thin that 'forever' and 'never' are dangerous words....so i try not to use them. Whenever i do use them, i end up eating them in 'the end'......

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