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Ever feel like you curse yourself? Keep my mouth SHUT!

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Old 05-07-2013, 09:36 AM   #1
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Default Ever feel like you curse yourself? Keep my mouth SHUT!

I can't remember if it was here or while I was talking to someone that I mentioned how happy I was to not have a walking/exercise buddy. My schedule is so random, I walk and exercise when I want (6am sometimes, 9pm other times, maybe both!) and I have no one to work around except the husband and the dog (he cries if I don't bring him but walks as slow as molasses smelling everything. Elvis' nickname=Smelvis on our walks! ).

So today I see one of our neighbors driving to work. Didn't think anything of it. 5 minutes later I get a text asking if I'd like to walk with her some time? Me and my big mouth!!! So of course I text back sure! (What else could I say??) But now I'm nervous. She's thin and pretty and just has everything going for her. And I'm going to look like a big blob next to her, panting for my next breath! I was so happy out on my walk and I feel like that was a pin in my balloon. I'm going to be so stressed walking by her house now, it's not like I can hide?!

She must want to walk with me now since I'm 199lbs.

I need to learn to keep quiet about things! Totally cursed myself!
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Old 05-07-2013, 10:01 AM   #2
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Yep! I feel ya! Seems everytime i say anything good or positive or about something im happy with... it quickly changes! You think id learn to keep my mouth shut by now but nooooooo...
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Old 05-07-2013, 10:04 AM   #3
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Being thin & pretty doesn't mean a person has everything going for themselves. No one has that. Maybe she could use a friend.
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Old 05-07-2013, 10:09 AM   #4
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Someone should do a study about "cursing ourselves". It certainly seems like it happens.

Our dog won't even go with me. He is young and in good shape, so maybe he thinks I'm not good enough for him. LOL. When I walk up and down the driveway, he finds a convenient spot to observe.

My experience is that when someone wants to walk with me, they may do it a few times and get tired of it. She may not know about your random schedule and won't like that, either.
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Old 05-07-2013, 10:11 AM   #5
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It's also okay to only walk with her on occasion. A friend of mine had a similar issue and she preferred to walk alone. So she told the other woman that it was nice to walk together sometimes, but lots of times, it was her only alone time, so it didn't always work for her to have a companion.

Good luck--it's hard to handle something like this.
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Old 05-07-2013, 10:16 AM   #6
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Yep! I feel ya! Seems everytime i say anything good or positive or about something im happy with... it quickly changes! You think id learn to keep my mouth shut by now but nooooooo...
LOL dangerous, how come the things I really really want and am vocal about never seem to come true?! I need to learn to bite my tongue!

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Being thin & pretty doesn't mean a person has everything going for themselves. No one has that. Maybe she could use a friend.
That is very true, Amarantha. I should have thought of that side of it too, I was being selfish. She never walks on her own and I'm really not in a place where I can be a good friend to anyone right now (that sounds awful to actually say/write). I should just relax until it actually ever happens. I worry about things before they even happen!

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Someone should do a study about "cursing ourselves". It certainly seems like it happens.

Our dog won't even go with me. He is young and in good shape, so maybe he thinks I'm not good enough for him. LOL. When I walk up and down the driveway, he finds a convenient spot to observe.

My experience is that when someone wants to walk with me, they may do it a few times and get tired of it. She may not know about your random schedule and won't like that, either.
LOL gailr, any studies about me and the things I think about would curl the pages of the medical report!!

My doggy loves the walks but not the exercise part! His short little legs move quick if there is food involved but otherwise, he lives an elderly dog life! He's like a baby, I have to sneak out of the house on him and make my getaway. It just breaks my heart when I come back around the block and I can hear him howl.

You are right, maybe she won't like it!! (Isn't that awful? I should be so happy but I'm not. )
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Old 05-07-2013, 10:18 AM   #7
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It's also okay to only walk with her on occasion. A friend of mine had a similar issue and she preferred to walk alone. So she told the other woman that it was nice to walk together sometimes, but lots of times, it was her only alone time, so it didn't always work for her to have a companion.

Good luck--it's hard to handle something like this.
Thanks Beth! I feel bad but it's my alone time too, you know? But she probably figures I have all day to be "alone" but really I don't. I'm in a different zone when I'm on my walks, plus I have my music blasting! And I take random routes depending what I feel like. Sometimes I take 2 walks (come home, get a drink, go back out).

Why am I so worried about this?!?
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Old 05-07-2013, 10:21 AM   #8
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This doesn't have to be a daily thing. If she wants to go again, just tell her that your schedule is too unpredictable and you never know when the urge will strike. Hopefully, she'll get the message. I feel for you though!
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Old 05-07-2013, 10:24 AM   #9
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Perhaps she sees how successful you've been and wants to join in. Maybe she's panicking about the 10lb that she's just put on and wants to reverse it before it climbs any higher. Maybe she's always wanted to approach you and finally found a common goal. :shrugs: There are so many variables.

That aside, I understand what you mean. I like to go get my nails done. That's my time of solitude. I never ask girlfriends to go, and I probably never will. I need my "me" time.
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Old 05-07-2013, 10:36 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by elvislover324 View Post
' mSo today I see one of our neighbors driving to work. Didn't think anything of it. 5 minutes later I get a text asking if I'd like to walk with her some time? Me and my big mouth!!! So of course I text back sure! (What else could I say??)
Elvislover, you must be a lot younger than me! Back in the day, I'd have said the same thing, thinking exactly as you did "What else could I say??"

You could have said "Appreciate your asking, _______, but to be perfectly honest, I prefer walking alone." But I totally understand why you didn't, as I couldn't have done it for a lot of years of my life. I can now, though - no problem. There are people at my gym who've learned the hard way that I'm in no mood to walk and talk. I've had to be polite, but very firm, with some of them.

It just comes with age, I think. You get tired of supplanting your needs for the sake of "being polite" or "keeping the peace." If they take offense, so what?

If you really, really, really don't want to walk with her, just tell her "You caught me a bit off guard, and I most certainly don't want to be rude. But I have to be honest, because my exercise routine is crucial to my overall weight loss goals. And I've learned that I do much better if I walk alone. It's not you, I don't want to walk with anyone." She might be a whole lot more understanding than you think.
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Old 05-07-2013, 10:48 AM   #11
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Thanks lucky mommy and precious missy!!

And southernmaven, omg!! Thank you!!! I'm not THAT young lol (37) but still get panicky in saying no to someone. And she's a really nice person (and we literally live next door to each other). I just get so nervous in front of her. Like I said, she's got everything going for her (she's older than me by like 7-8 years and probably looks younger than me!). Her house is always spotless (inside and out), their kids are so cute, they make plenty of money, take fancy vacations, just seems like everything is perfect! (I know that everything isn't always what it seems but still...it's very intimidating!)

This is totally about me and my insecurities and I don't think she judges me on any of this (she never said or implied anything of the sort), I just feel overwhelmed with everything lately and this feels stressful!

Maybe I'll play it by ear and just see what happens. I could be worrying for nothing.
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Old 05-07-2013, 10:51 AM   #12
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Elvis, I know what you mean -- and the older I get, the more I want my alone time which is silly considering I live alone. I get the "what could I say" as I was raised on the what-could-I-say theory of communication. One thing that may be an option is to think if there are other things you might enjoy doing with this neighbor -- shopping, movie, just having a cup of coffee? If there is another activity it would be much easier to just say that your walking schedule is so flexible that you really can't set a scheduled walk time, but you'd love to ??????? with her.

And, I've been just skimming posts lately, but what's this about you're now at 199 -- YOU'RE IN ONEDERLAND!!!!! WOW -- did you just sneak that in there or was there a big announcement and I missed it. Are you still doing cartwheels? I am so happy for you -- don't know anyone who has worked harder to reach a specific goal than you did for this one.
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Old 05-07-2013, 10:56 AM   #13
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Elvis, I know what you mean -- and the older I get, the more I want my alone time which is silly considering I live alone. I get the "what could I say" as I was raised on the what-could-I-say theory of communication. One thing that may be an option is to think if there are other things you might enjoy doing with this neighbor -- shopping, movie, just having a cup of coffee? If there is another activity it would be much easier to just say that your walking schedule is so flexible that you really can't set a scheduled walk time, but you'd love to ??????? with her.

And, I've been just skimming posts lately, but what's this about you're now at 199 -- YOU'RE IN ONEDERLAND!!!!! WOW -- did you just sneak that in there or was there a big announcement and I missed it. Are you still doing cartwheels? I am so happy for you -- don't know anyone who has worked harder to reach a specific goal than you did for this one.
Thanks Betsy!!! I have been in onederland for just about 26 hours now (but who's counting LOL!!!). There is a thread about it as I finally cried HAPPY tears!! Thank you so much for your kind comments. I thought I'd never get to 199!!

Thanks so much for your suggestions, maybe I can find something else to do with her. I only walk alone or with my husband and it seems weird to add someone into my routine but maybe it's meant to be. And maybe I could benefit from her too. I'm trying to get positive about it!
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Old 05-07-2013, 10:57 AM   #14
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And, I've been just skimming posts lately, but what's this about you're now at 199 -- YOU'RE IN ONEDERLAND!!!!! WOW -- did you just sneak that in there or was there a big announcement and I missed it.
betsy, you really haven't been paying attention , although I grant that it just happened yesterday! I know I was checking 3FC every 10 minutes to see the results of elvis's weigh-in yesterday!
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Old 05-07-2013, 11:15 AM   #15
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She must want to walk with me now since I'm 199lbs.
That is SO the reason! Haha, love it.


I can completely relate. This month is bike to work month. Me and my big mouth, I was so excited and talking about it at work, and this one girl is like, "Oh man! Can I ride WITH you!?" 'Sure....' Crap, yeh, I don't want to have to worry about anyone but myself, ya know? Even with my b/f, we tried to go to the gym a few times together but it just didn't work. We are too good at talking eachother out of it, no matter how good our intentions are.

I agree with everyone above that maybe doing it occasionally with her would be a good thing. I have found that when I work out occasionally with others I am introduced to new ideas/concepts, and sometimes I even push myself harder. It is good to have a balance.

And who knows if she will ever actually hit you up to do it.
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