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You're going to stop now, right??

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Old 05-03-2013, 04:34 PM   #1
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Default You're going to stop now, right??

Any of you get that? I'm sure you do?

i've been getting a lot of that lately and my little mind translates it as "you're beginning to look like crap". Yes i know that's unfair to ascribe motives to peoples statements and it's a reflection of my own insecurities with how i've changed but when people say that to me i just look at them blankly, like...yes of course i'm done LOSING and am just kind of...being?

i don't encourage discussion and just politely say yep but it's just kind of strange to keep getting those comments
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Old 05-03-2013, 04:37 PM   #2
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People don't think about what they say sometimes. I'm SO sorry you have to hear that. Honestly, sounds like they are just jealous of you doing so awesome and accomplishing such a major goal!

Sigh, it is hard to realize that even after we reach our goal weight we will still have to struggle with body issues and the way other people view us.
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Old 05-03-2013, 04:41 PM   #3
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You looked amazing on your purple shoes and skinny jeans thread so I *can* see why they say it but this is all about you and where you want to stop (or not).

I'm sorry you have to deal with comments, people just can't seem to keep their mouth shut about our weight. They talk like it's public conversation and I'd never ever do that to anyone. I always get nervous I'm going to say the wrong thing so I never say anything!

Do what is best for you and as long as you keep us in the loop, all is good. (KIDDING!!!)
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Old 05-03-2013, 05:01 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 100Mother View Post
People don't think about what they say sometimes. I'm SO sorry you have to hear that. Honestly, sounds like they are just jealous of you doing so awesome and accomplishing such a major goal!

Sigh, it is hard to realize that even after we reach our goal weight we will still have to struggle with body issues and the way other people view us.

You know.. i did THE SAME THING when i was overweight, to my mom or friends that had lost and i honestly didn't mean anything bad by it, probably thought it was complimentary but it really ISNT. i did give everyone the benefit of the doubt but i just kind of am stunned when someone says that like i'm going to starve myself into a skeleton or something! i do think most of it isn't meant to be offensive but it's not like i have a magic wand i can wave and completely control everything

and YES OMG it's such a bummer to have to struggle with body image AFTER you reach goal because you don't factor in how DIFFERENT you may look (i get that all the time) my face has slimmed down to the point of me talking about it in several threads and i have a bit of a rubber face from the excess skin that i'm HOPING will even out as i'm newly in maintenance but yes some issues are AMPLIFIED and that truly sucks. So that is what's playing in my head when people comment. i had one person say how beautiful i looked, like a model (an exaggeration but very nice to say) and the rest say how different i look and am i going to stop? Wish they would say something else besides that because you can read into those statements very negative things (granted it's my insecurities)!
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Old 05-03-2013, 05:13 PM   #5
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I get it mostly from women family members. In general, it seems to be rooted from a insecurity because most of them are struggling hard with losing their own weight and it's easier to turn outward and critique than to turn inward and achieve.

I've taken to saying "No, I'm not going to stop maintaining my weight, I like being healthy." and it seems to curb all but the most negative people. For those, it seems the only thing to do is disengage from the discussion. I usually say "I feel great, how about you?"
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Old 05-03-2013, 05:13 PM   #6
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If I were your friend in RL and said something to you it would be from a place of concern. I wouldn't want my friend to become anorexic.

With that said, acquaintances really shouldn't comment. It's just plain rude, lol.
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Old 05-03-2013, 05:17 PM   #7
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Never in a million years can I imagine asking someone that.
Saying, "No, I'm not going to stop maintaining my weight, I like being healthy.", seems like an excellent idea.
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Old 05-03-2013, 05:26 PM   #8
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First, congrats on making goal! But it sucks that you've been hearing this :hugs:

I do think part of it is about people having an image of you in their head and they haven't figured out the new you yet. I haven't been getting those comments, but I moved at 155 and no one in this whole state knew me any higher. So to them an 'average' size women getting slimmer isn't a big deal. Even with the people who have seen pictures of me at my heaviest, I can tell it isn't actually real for them, like it was another person and not really me. So, its may be kinda the opposite for you, where to them the heavier you is still the 'real' one to them. I am nervous about what I will hear when I go see my family later in the month. They've never seen me this thin, even in high school, so it might be a shock.

Anyway, I don't think its at all about you not looking good. Its about others and how they have to mentally catch up to where you are now.
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Old 05-03-2013, 05:27 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PreciousMissy View Post
If I were your friend in RL and said something to you it would be from a place of concern. I wouldn't want my friend to become anorexic.

With that said, acquaintances really shouldn't comment. It's just plain rude, lol.
see i also agree with that although i'm betting most will not, it seems the consensus on here that one should not say anything "negative" or personal about one's weight loss--ever. Like with my mom, my family members and i are a bit concerned about her thinness but she likes herself that way, isn't anorexic and her doctor gives her the okay but she just likes being on the thin side and all of us do not but now i know how she feels. i take those comments as being NEGATIVE and not--wow you look great. Wish people would say that instead of am i going to stop now, i just don't get that comment at all. i'm not interested in being rail thin and if i could, i would dictate how and where my fat comes off but i'm still in the game and trying to figure everything out and my body is still adjusting. and at MY AGE, the fat just comes off differently and there isn't that lovely subcutaneous pad of fat in young people so parts of me look "thin" and other parts do not. UGH. oh well........
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