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Struggling with my Goal Weight

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Old 04-25-2013, 03:03 PM   #1
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Default Struggling with my Goal Weight

Hey guys, I am not sure if anyone can relate, but I would love to hear your thoughts.

I graduated high school around 200 lbs, so when I started, I had no idea what I'd look like less then 190, which was my all-time low adult weight before this year.

I initially had a goal weight of 175. I think I subconsciously picked this because I didn't want to admit to myself that I needed to lose 100 lbs. 90 lbs seemed like much less? I don't know, anyway, by 200 I had changed it to 165 because I WANT to lose 100 lbs.

Now as I am approaching 165, I think I want to go to 155. But I don't really want to change my goal weight. I want to celebrate 165 as goal, and not as a mini-goal of 100 lbs lost, but I wonder if that's taking the easy way out.

So, now that I know I want to work toward 155, I am wondering if it's a lie to keep my ticker and my reward for my goal weight at 165. And what if I don't make 155? I don't want to feel like a failure.

Any thoughts? Is is better to be more aggressive or conservative with your goal weight?
Started - 12/25/11 at 265 lbs.
ONEderland - 2/16/13 at 199 lbs.
Goal - Normal BMI! - 7/17/13 at 155 lbs.
Refocus - 1/29/15 - 185 lbs.

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Old 04-25-2013, 04:23 PM   #2
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People adjust their goals - up and down - all the time. When you get to 165, you can say you are a goal (and congratulate yourself on an AMAZING accomplishment) and then give yourself a new goal to lose 10 lbs. Don't make this any harder than it needs to be, it's already hard enough!
Restart 1/6/13 - GOAL (for now) back to prior low

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Old 04-25-2013, 04:24 PM   #3
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I say go for whatever will make you the happiest! Ask yourself this... Which one would you like yourself at?

Going back to my old weight.

= 5 pounds
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Old 04-25-2013, 04:27 PM   #4
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Underwater I completely understand. I started with a goal weight of 150 and am now eyeing the mid 130s. When I was in the low 150s I just thought "I'll go 5 past" and then I did it again. Now though, I'm spending more time looking in the mirror and thinking "just a little bit more". I haven't given up on the scale as a measure completely, but that's somewhat out of habit.

As for feeling like a failure, that's why I put a question mark in my profile. I think if I put 135, I'll feel like I need to get there, but what if I'm happy at 137? I've seen others who write "fit" or something there too. Maybe just extend you ticker a couple pounds, then reevaluate.

Finally, I would totally consider getting to 100 pounds as hitting goal. If its Goal or "a goal" is up to you, but don't cheat yourself out if your achievement. I maintained in the 150s for almost a year before losing more, and always thought I had made goal, even if I knew I wanted to shoot for 145 at some point. It would be like if I decided not to celebrate graduating from high school just cause I was going to start college in the fall.

So yeah, I know this is complicated, but I just hope you can remember to celebrate how far you've come. I think its normal to struggle with that, I know I do, but it still worth it to try.
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Old 04-25-2013, 04:37 PM   #5
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I remember for me, as I was approaching goal (before I got preggers again), I started feeling that the number on the scale wasn't a biggie--I was going to call it once I fit comfortably into a size 12, which at 188-191 I was in a loose 14, tight 12. I was liking how I looked in clothes and felt comfortable with myself at that point. Just something for you to consider, I agree with the others that you should stop where you feel good, and nothing is wrong with maintaining and then reevaluating.

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Old 04-25-2013, 04:48 PM   #6
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I envy your dilemma. I have never been in that situation but I think you should celebrate big time. 100 pounds is an amazing accomplishment.

After that you can always shoot for 155 and know in your heart and mind that you are exceeding your initial expectations. I think you're a rock star. Congrats.

I choose 170 because I haven't seen a number like that in 20 years. It feels too far away and if I actually can make it there then maybe I can hope for more. That being said at 170 I will definately be celebrating.

Last edited by mygirlvj : 04-25-2013 at 04:51 PM.
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Old 04-25-2013, 04:49 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by April Snow View Post
People adjust their goals - up and down - all the time. When you get to 165, you can say you are a goal (and congratulate yourself on an AMAZING accomplishment) and then give yourself a new goal to lose 10 lbs. Don't make this any harder than it needs to be, it's already hard enough!
This is Perfect way of putting it!!!

What ever makes you happy and comfortable.

I am floating ideas of GW
1) Because I am old, maybe normal BMI would work; 142 pounds
2) I really liked how I looked at 130-133 <<<---- Profile picture.
3) I LOVED being 120-125...but with my age, would I look all wrinkly??
4) Ultimate 110-120...but SERIOUSLY how wrinkly would I look?

If I get down to 142, I will evaluate at that point. I will celebrate the fact that I reached healthy weight.
If I get down to 130, I will evaluate again.... and again at 125 pounds I will look at if there is enough botox to cover my age or if I should celebrate that I kicked butt and I am freaking 125 pounds and I don't care about my wrinkles

Do what you feel is the right thing to do! We will be cheering you on, every step of the way

149.8 ~ 10/17/13
142.0 ~ 01/28/14
132.0 ~
122.0 ~

Last edited by Sum38 : 04-25-2013 at 04:50 PM.
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Old 04-25-2013, 04:55 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by flashfacts View Post
don't cheat yourself out if your achievement.
I think this, too. If I were to hit my initial goal, but decided to go lower, I would still give myself my initial goal reward. You set your goal and made it, you should celebrate!
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Old 04-25-2013, 04:59 PM   #9
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I know how you feel, always wondering about your goal weight. But the fact is, our weight does change throughout our lives. Pregnancy, sickness, stress... etc. My goal is to stay around the middle of what a healthy BMI is for my height. I chose 140 but I'm ok no matter what. That said, definitely celebrate what your original goal weight was. It's a huge deal!!! Bodies always change, but to reach a goal weight is so exciting, don't lessen the accomplishment. That's how I feel, anyway. I'm going to be so excited when I reach 140. And you're closing in on 100 lbs - that is awesome!
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Old 04-25-2013, 06:04 PM   #10
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I initially chose a goal weight of 150 even though that was really high for my height because I knew, with absolute certainty that getting below 200 was completely unrealistic and never going to happen.

Then - to my shock - I found myself nearing 150 and knew I wanted to go lower, but didn't change my ticker. When I hit 150, I pretended for a few days that I was 5'11" tall and that 150 was really thin.

Then I grudgingly changed my ticker to 130 and got back to work.


"I'm through accepting limits, cause someone says they're so. Some things I cannot change but 'til I try I'll never know!" ~ Wicked ~

"Have you ever looked fear in the face and said 'I just don't care!'" ~ Pink ~


My goal reached thread http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...ncers-say.html
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Old 04-25-2013, 06:39 PM   #11
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Hey Underwater, maybe I can shed some light? You and I are the same height and two years ago, I weighed 155 lbs. I liked how I looked but I remember even then wanting to keep losing a bit. At that time, I went from about 170 to 155 and it wasn't extremely difficult. If you want to get to 155, I have total confidence that you will do it. If you want 165, I support you as well!

No matter what way you slice it, you will have made your goal. So, make it Goal # 2! It's TOTALLY okay to change things up and if anyone says you cheat, they are just...strange!

You likely had a fear of failure when you weighed 265...and look what you did! Same thing here! It's okay to be scared, but don't NOT go for it because of the fear! Absolute worse case scenario, better to have said "i tried" than "what if!". 155 is within the healthy bmi range for your height anyway- totally doable!
Weighing on the first of every month only! Countdown to the Calgary Stampede in July (and rocking the cowgirl look!)

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Old 04-25-2013, 07:18 PM   #12
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I've given up goals. However, I've decided that I definitely want to be in a "healthy BMI" range. I'm more focused on fitness goals- and the weight will come.

I'm learning to trust my body. It will decide what weight is good for it. I will listen to my body. Listen to hunger cues. And we'll figure it out together.
The thing about goals....is that YOU are picking out the goal. Your body may have a very different goal.

So to answer your question....Maybe I'd vote for the conservative goal and let your body take care of the aggressive goal.
There are many many people who continue to lose after maintenance or stabilization if they maintain a healthy lifestyle.
"Summer afternoon—summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language." ~Henry James

Last edited by lunarsongbird : 04-25-2013 at 07:21 PM.
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Old 04-25-2013, 07:42 PM   #13
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I think it is all about how much are you willing to do to get there and stay there!

Are you the type who wants to keep a very tight control over your food to keep "your ideal weight in your head" the same that is on the scale ....or are you a "horse shoe girl...close enough"? Only the person dieting can answer this question for themselves.

For me I felt I worked too darn hard .....That I know myself I would never feel like I wanted to ....if I did not kick it hard....all the way.
That being said ...I did Exactly what I set out to do! Got to goal ....and I said let me really dream and take it where I feel like I can look myself in the Eye and say I am Proud of myself and mean it to my core!
Well I did it .....my weight is 105 LBS. and I am soo proud that ..

I dared to live my real dream! This is a weight I have lived with.
Women who were my height in my family ..years ago this was a normal weight and I feel comfortable here. Fast forward I see relatives who very few accept the younger ones are in this weight category .

So look deep in your heart and determine what success looks like for you.

Good Luck...and whatever you decide be happy with your choice,Roo2
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Old 04-25-2013, 09:24 PM   #14
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Default re:

Why not do your reward at 165 to celebrate everything you've achieved? Heck, do it now if you want to, as you've already achieved so much.

If you decide you want to lose more, go ahead and maybe think of even more awards to do.

You don't have to lose weight to treat yourself with something you want to do in life.

If you don't make 155, or 165 for that matter, you aren't a failure. People who lose even 10 lbs accomplish more than many people do in their lifetime.

Last edited by Vex : 04-25-2013 at 09:29 PM.
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Old 04-25-2013, 11:12 PM   #15
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It's all relative.

This time around, yes, I've done this before. I made my goal, 140. I'm 5'5", and now 53. I've stayed between 136 and 139 for 18+ months now.

Currently, I'm happy to say, I'm a maintainer, I strength train and have added c25k recently.

In all honesty, I could really stand to lose 5-10 more pounds. Am I gonna do it? Most likely not.

Yes, stripping off those last few pounds would show off how hard I've worked in the gym, however, at this point in time, I'll take the maintaining and the fact that I like working out, I'm comfy with my food plan, and overall happy.

I feel like I'm in a place, that I can maintain, and be content and happy.

3+ year maintainer.
The human body is capable of amazing things! But without the mind, it is nothing. Get your mind in gear and the body will follow!

Be selfish about caring for yourself, you deserve it!
Weight Watcher leader! But always a Member first!
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