3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Weight Loss Support

Weight Loss Support Give and get support here!

My husband's thoughts on my goal weight - food for thought...

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-24-2013, 11:20 AM   #31
Fear does not = fate
 
owlsteazombies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: OH
Posts: 468

S/C/G: 295/125/130

Height: 5'2"

Default

I had a talk with my husband about this as well a few weeks ago. And while my goal is 130-120ish range, maybe lower with being short and relatively small framed, he thought 150 would be a manageable number for me to maintain longterm. And once I get to 150, if I decide I want to lose more, than thats fine, it's my decision.
__________________
The scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That's it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength or love.
owlsteazombies is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 11:33 AM   #32
Haven't quit yet!
 
Radiojane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,223

S/C/G: 485/372.4/200

Height: 6'0

Default

That chart is an interesting thing...... (the dukan thing I mean). The lowest I could ever remember being at close to adulthood is about 215 pounds, so I shot for 200. I've actually been thinking lately that I'd probably go to 190 just to see if I could do it. This thing is telling me 240.

Vex has a very good point about the insurance things etc. Fitting into that BMI chart makes life a lot easier for a lot of things. Unfortunately I don't think I will ever fit as "healthy" is about 30 pounds (or 60 if you listen to the results the Dukan diet site) under what I'll end up at.

At some point I think we have to settle. Very few of us will be "perfectly" healthy. We're just going to have to do the best we can with what we have.
__________________
I have come way too far to quit now!


2014 Reboot!
Radiojane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 11:44 AM   #33
Vex
There is no try.
 
Vex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 1,237

S/C/G: 281/T/140

Height: 5'6"

Default re:

I hope I didn't upset you.

I hate to see so many people think that a certain weight just isn't possible for them. Maybe it is or isn't.

I was reading something Sontaikle posted somewhere earlier, where she stated how she thought 140 would never be possible for her, and she made it down in the teens, with work of course to stay there.

I don't like to hear that people say something is impossible, regardless if it's weight or something else. Many times it's just what a person is willing to do to get whatever it is done. There are limits to what we choose to do, and that's ok.

Would I be willing to exercise 7 days a week and eat 1200 cals a day to maintain at 120? NO WAY.
__________________
.

Vex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 11:47 AM   #34
Senior Member
 
cherrypie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Vancouver Island
Posts: 1,014

Height: 5'5

Default

Why not get back to 175 then do a trial maintenance period. Give yourself, say, 6 months at that weight to adjust. See if you feel comfortable at the end of it and then go from there.

To me the most interesting part of what your husband said was that was the weight you were always happiest at in the past.
__________________
Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God
cherrypie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 11:48 AM   #35
Member
 
Crunchy Pip's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 46

Default

Very interesting post. I can deffo identify with this part:

"It's hard for me to know what a good stable, easy to maintain weight is"
Crunchy Pip is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 11:49 AM   #36
Member
 
eliza422's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 47

Default

I did the dukan thing and it said my true weight is 189...my goal is 175.

I know I cannot do the work to get down much lower...even now I eat 1500 - 2000 calories a day and on my low days I can't even imagine eating only 1200, which is probably what I would have to do to get down into my "optimum" weight range.

It's like the poster said above, it's what I am pretty sure I can live with vs. a number in a chart.
__________________
October 2009

December 2012: https://picasaweb.google.com/1140873...28207175395954
eliza422 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 12:02 PM   #37
Haven't quit yet!
 
Radiojane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,223

S/C/G: 485/372.4/200

Height: 6'0

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vex View Post
I hope I didn't upset you.
I hate to see so many people think that a certain weight just isn't possible for them. Maybe it is or isn't.
.
Who me? Nah. I'm not easily upset. I was actually very impressed that you made the point, because I never got there.

I guess It's impossible to say for sure what's possible for any of us, and as a lot of the goal threads here show, a lot of us do better than we ever thought we would. I think the pendulum is swinging from "size 0" and other unrealistic expectations back to "realistic" and maybe we're taking realistic a little too far too.

I would love to say I weigh 175 pounds. But at this point I'd love to say I weigh 299, so I guess time will tell.
__________________
I have come way too far to quit now!


2014 Reboot!
Radiojane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 12:06 PM   #38
Melissa
 
berryblondeboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 5,899

Height: 5'6.5"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vex View Post
I hope I didn't upset you.

I hate to see so many people think that a certain weight just isn't possible for them. Maybe it is or isn't.

I was reading something Sontaikle posted somewhere earlier, where she stated how she thought 140 would never be possible for her, and she made it down in the teens, with work of course to stay there.

I don't like to hear that people say something is impossible, regardless if it's weight or something else. Many times it's just what a person is willing to do to get whatever it is done. There are limits to what we choose to do, and that's ok.

Would I be willing to exercise 7 days a week and eat 1200 cals a day to maintain at 120? NO WAY.
No, I don't upset easily and I like people to push me and others and to bring up discussion topics.

And fact is, I DON'T know where I'll settle. All I can know is my past. I know when I was 14 (and still not done growing) I weighed 140 pounds and was very fit (swimming 2 hours a day for swim team). I grew two inches since then and aged nearly 30 years. I figure that gives me some idea of where my baseline is, but do I know? No... I don't!

So, we'll see. Right now it's all speculation as I'm at 190 (or 189) and just trying to claw my way back down to at least 175. From there we'll see what it takes to whittle it down to 165 and from there just see... how much effort does it take or not?
__________________
My journey to a healthier lifestyle blog: http://melissaslife42.blogspot.com/



berryblondeboys is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 12:09 PM   #39
Every pound is a victory
 
rainydays's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Midwest, US
Posts: 1,477

S/C/G: 263/147/?

Height: 5' 6"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by berryblondeboys View Post
I might blog about this tomorrow, but I'll put it out here now.

So, I was having breakfast with my husband before heading to the gym. We got on the topic about exercise and fitness. I said that I can see I'm bigger than I was this summer, but bigger seems HUGE, but I'm still wearing the same sized clothes, so it's not that I got all the way from a size 10 to a size 20.

I then said that when I get back to my weight this summer, I'll probably be smaller as I've built up quite a bit of muscle this fall/winter. My husband asked me how much I weighed and I told him (he's known my weight the whole journey - up and down).

Then he said this, "Maybe that weight is too low for you to maintain." I think maybe it might better for you to stay around 175 and maintain/hold that weight than to bounce around so much. If you have to work so hard to stay at 160, then is that a reasonable goal weight?"

My initial reaction to it was, "Well, but it's not that I've gotten to that weight and been stable. I started eating things I know I shouldn't. It's hard for me to know what a good stable, easy to maintain weight is if I haven't figured at that balancing act yet."

He then said, "Well, what I see is that several times in our marriage you've gotten to around 175 and were fit and active and healthy and looked great. Going below that seems to be where you start to have problems."

And again, it's because I never tried to maintain it - life got in the way and I messed up.

But now a few hours later, and after a workout at the gym, I'm asking myself, what is a good end weight for me? Do I shoot for perfection? One that is "ideal" - like the 25% body fat? Or do I shoot for something that is good and healthy, but easy enough to maintain so that I don't have to fight tooth and nail to get there and to stay there?

Especially with being overweight for so long (like 27 years?), is it even reasonable to expect to be able to easily maintain 25% body fat and around 160 pounds? (that's about where those numbers would line up).

I know for sure that right now I feel and am too heavy. I want to be a thinner and smaller and I can get there, but what SHOULD be the magic number or body fat percentage?

Yes, the final weight finds you, but how long does that take really to find it? I think it's going to be awhile for me as I can't possibly know what will feel maintainable long term.
Feeling the same way myself. I've been gone for quite awhile, but I need to be here. I had a hysterectomy December 18th and I'm up 13 lbs from early September, as a result of the surgery, a stressful semester, the holidays, and lack of eating and moving like I know I should. I also don't know where I want to be with weight, and I don't know if my body does either. Just commiserating! Hope we can both figure it out soon.
__________________
New goal: Be a healthy-eating, trim and FIT beast at the gym! 140ish pounds, but the focus is on looking and feeling good--HEALTH!!!

Walk To Mordor by September 2013! http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chic...lk-mordor.html Miles Traveled: 45/1779
Before/After Picture Thread!
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/mini...bs-go-pic.html
rainydays is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 12:56 PM   #40
❈ one w/ the wind & sky ❈
 
Elladorine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,958

S/C/G: 360/210/150

Height: 5' 8"

Default

Interestingly enough, I've recently had a similar conversation with my husband, but given my weight history and current state I'm still far from figuring out my goal from actual experience. He's guessing I'll level out at 180 and be very happy there. I'm close to 220 now and have been consistently averaging a one pound loss per week for nearly a year. I do realize that another 40 pounds will do me a world of good, but it's all uncharted territory. And I'm wondering if I'll feel even more lost about it once I get closer or when my losses inevitably slow down.

I played with the Dukan calculator. When I put in all the required numbers and set my realistic target weight to 150 (a goal several doctors have given me), it said my true weight was 185. And when I kept everything the same and changed my target weight to 131 (which is the lowest healthy BMI for my height but somewhere I've never planned on getting), it gave me a true weight of 178. Hmm. Is my husband right about the 180 or am I giving this tool too much credit?

I'll be speaking with my doctor about my weight loss progress and goals during my next check-up, but as most are saying, I think it's best to gauge it based on how you feel while maintaining said weight.
__________________

Visit Elladorine.com to see my 150 lb. progress photos & more!Facebook Twitter

★ Goal for 2013: Healthy Pregnancy, Healthy Baby REACHED 12-11-13]
★ Goal for 2014: Get under 200 pounds once and for all!!! ★
Elladorine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 02:10 PM   #41
Member
 
BuddysBuddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: NE Tennessee
Posts: 94

S/C/G: 174/T/140

Height: 5'3"

Default

Quote:
It's still 20lbs overweight. I know BMI never takes many things into consideration - muscle mass etc. The world uses BMI charts though to determine many things about you - how much you'll pay for insurance, for example.

20lbs is still 20lbs extra my heart doesn't need to drag around.
^This makes me mad (not the quote or the person who wrote it - the actual fact) I feel 20 pounds is such a little amount to wreak so much havoc in my health. Yet it does - The most I've ever been overweight (BMI normal) is 35 pounds, yet even at 20 pounds over I still have high BP and cholesterol issues, not to mention some lovely things that hormones are doing to me right now. I'm not a huge junk food fan, we eat quite healthily in our household. I do admit to a sweet tooth, but if I don't buy sweets I'm OK. My problem is I eat too much (of course) I exercise fairly regularly, but need to take it up a notch. I know these things and am working on improving my lifestyle, but *I* really need to get down to the chart mandated weight, and even then I'm not sure if my numbers will be good

BBB and all, good luck on your quest for the perfectish maintainable weight - I think that if your medical numbers are good and you feel good at maintaining said weight, relax and be happy.

I hope that at some point I'll be able to maintain what's best for me as well.
__________________


BuddysBuddy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 02:34 PM   #42
Senior Member
 
ImImportant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 304

S/C/G: 191/171/153

Height: 5'3"

Default

I cleaned out my storage area last week and I found an old calorie diary from 1990. At that time I was 23 with no children, weighed 138 pounds wearing a size 8.

When I joined 3FC I chose 140 as my goal weight which according to BMI is just a pound or so away from being overweight, so I dropped it by 5 pounds for wiggle room. I am a mesomorph so I gain muscle very easily and I'm packed solid. So, when I think about getting to 125 (to be solidly away from overweight) I know that I will look sickly. a few years ago I got down to 125 and I had many friends and family ask if I was ill.

I can't say that Dukan is correct but I do know that number is closest to where I look and feel the best. Following the BMI number will cause me to struggle to be at a weight that my body is not designed to carry.

Who knows, maybe I will get to 135 and my body will naturally get rid of the last 10 but for now I'll go with the number that agrees with my original guess.
__________________
Goal Reached
Regained 10
working it off. Working to Lose 10 by March 14 trip to Las Vegas.

Last edited by ImImportant : 01-24-2013 at 02:44 PM.
ImImportant is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 07:36 PM   #43
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Cali
Posts: 541

S/C/G: SW 228/CW 138/GW 130-150

Height: 5'3.5

Default

I keep meaning to write on this thread but have not. I have been thinking about this ever since I started. Forget about goal weights on a chart, what is a maintainable weight for someone who has spent an entire lifetime in the obese category or someone who spent their entire life yoyo dieting.

I have spent my adult life in the obese range since college....about 20 years. I now weight about what I did right out of high school. A great accomplishment! The calculator estimated my realistic weight at 150 which is actually my red line goal weight. I am hoping I can white knuckle it for another 13 pounds or so. It has been harder and harder to lose and I am getting frustrated. This week I have contemplated maintaining my current weight of 159, but I would feel bad or ashamed if I did not reach my modest goal. I should be able to......all this to say, don't underestimate your accomplishments.....and don't assume it should be easy....everyone is different......work hard but don't be unrealistic.......

I have not figured out what that means for me yet.
__________________
FALL 2011: Started running and CC
JUNE 2013 over 83 pounds lost! GOAL!!!!
Next Goal: maintain 90 pounds lost.
dstalksalot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 09:37 PM   #44
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 25

S/C/G: 207.4 / 163.2 / 163

Height: 5'9"

Default

I tried to get it to tell me my true weight but it took all my stats and never got back to me. Did I do something wrong?
__________________


Enjah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2013, 10:13 PM   #45
Melissa
 
berryblondeboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 5,899

Height: 5'6.5"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Enjah View Post
I tried to get it to tell me my true weight but it took all my stats and never got back to me. Did I do something wrong?
There's a button on that page that says CALCULATE. Press that and the page should just appear - they don't send it by email.
__________________
My journey to a healthier lifestyle blog: http://melissaslife42.blogspot.com/



berryblondeboys is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Introductions to those of us on Ideal Protein wuv2bloved Ideal Protein Diet 495 04-04-2012 12:43 PM
Sarge's No Excuses / Boot Camp To Beach Weather #5 JayTee Chicks up for a Challenge 476 05-28-2011 10:06 PM
Beck Diet For Life/Solution February 2011 Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach BillBlueEyes Beck Diet Solution 325 03-01-2011 04:52 AM
Beck Diet For LIfe/Solution February 2009 Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach BillBlueEyes LA Weight Loss 283 03-01-2009 06:40 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:45 AM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2