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Old 05-03-2003, 01:19 PM   #1
Progress..not perfection
 
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Angry 300+ And Ready To Try Again....326

GOD BLESS AMERICA !!!!!

We want to invite everyone to join us in our journey.
We share laughter and tears.
We share what works for us and what doesn't.
We recently started a Topic of the Day.

Monday........Motivation Monday
Tuesday.......Tuesday Tips
Wednesday.....Wednesday Weigh ins
Thursday......Thankful Thursday
Friday........Friday Facials, Fingernails and Fun
Saturday.......Sit-up Saturdays - any physical activity
Sunday.........Soup and Salad Sunday - recipes


These are not required topics ...just ideas to share. We have found them very helpful. We also share heartaches and fears...joys and celebrations.

Please feel free to jump right in with us.
And be sure to check if there is a second page. We don't want anyone to miss any posts.
We want to invite everyone to join us in our journey.
We share laughter and tears.
We share what works for us and what doesn't.
We recently started a Topic of the Day.

WELCOME!

Last edited by QueenB : 05-04-2003 at 10:47 AM.
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Old 05-03-2003, 01:48 PM   #2
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Thumbs down Well, I know you've been waiting....

for my response to Baylee....so here it is:

I actually went through a range of emotions when I read her post. At first I was hurt and tears filled my eyes, then I was mad and I wanted to strike out.....but then, I thought about it and here's what I've come up with:

I'm 33 years old and I've been dealing with this weight on my body since I was young. Do I want it off? Yes I do. Am I perfect? No, I'm not. Do I need support? Yes. Do I think it will answer all my problems? No. But it helps.

I consider these ladies here on this thread my family....and
family discuss lots of things......not just weight loss. I mean, come on. How boring would it be if all we ever talked about was weight loss. How appropriate I think it is that we do talk about other things.....because believe it or not, other things affect our weightloss, it's not just our appetite. I love coming here to vent about the kids, the job, the dh or whatever.

And I'll tell you something else, perhaps I may not be "successful" in others eyes......and perhaps the weight is not dropping off of me, but for one solid year and a half, I have kept over 70 lbs. off, and that is something I have never been able to do in my life and I know it's in part to the support and love I receive here on this website......and to me, that says alot.

As far as you not believing some of the people on this thread, that is your business. I can honestly say that I have always been completely truthful with everyone here on this thread. Regarding your comment
Quote:
Another thing we all know is pretty close to the correct clothes size for our weights.
I remember you asking me and someone else here, what type of clothes we bought.... because you weighed less than we did and you wore a size 22/24, if I'm not mistaken. I had posted that I had just bought an 18. I also specifically told you that the pants I bought were "Just my size" and had elastic and were workout pants, so I'm not sure where that came from.

As far as me being a "schoolgirl with a crush on a celebrity", well personally, that's none of your business. We are ALL very different and we like different things. I have never knocked anything that anyone else likes here because that is their own personal business whether I agree with it or not. There are some people on this thread that drink alcohol. I do not. I blame 99% of what I had to deal with as a child growing up on alcohol, but do I get nasty, rude or tell anyone here they have no business drinking?

No, I do not. Because I love everyone here.....regardless of what they like or do not like. I'm also not as nice as 2cute......I don't think your post helped anyone. I think you were being very hurtful and decided that you would stomp us good on your way out the door.

And I may be one of the "unknowledgeables" in your opinion, but if being "knowledgeable" means turning on your friends, then just call me one big dummy.

Last time I checked, there are no restrictions on this website about talking about Nascar and as long as it is something that I am passionate about and love, I will talk about it......otherwise, I might be transformed into this rude, hateful person who has nothing better to do then to come here and put down all the friends I have made who have supported me through good and bad times.

And what type of person would that make me?
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Last edited by QueenB : 05-03-2003 at 06:08 PM.
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Old 05-03-2003, 02:22 PM   #3
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TINA... I AM SOOOOO PROUD OF YOU I COULD BURST !!!!


I spent sooooo much time writing this post for the last thread that you popped in and started this new one before I could post it. And I am soooo happy you did.
You were sooooo elegant in your words and so "right on" !!!!

here the post I wrote...
__________________________________________

Michelle... I really liked everything you said.
I agree ...before I found 3FC I was not out exercising... I was gaining weight at a record speed. I have not gained a single pound above my starting weight and have even lost 35 or so.
But I also need to get more active. Baylee was right... I need to take more positive action for my recovery from obesity than just sitting at this computer. But I have no intention of giving up my cyber family either. I just need to be more balanced.

But even if everything that Baylee wrote was true (which it was in 'her' eyes)
Does ANYONE have the right to be cruel and hurtful towards another human being. NO!!!!

Baylee was wrong (in my opinion) in the way she shared her feelings of anger and frustration.
And I am NOT STANDING UP FOR HER.
I am standing up to say "Don't let anyother human being bring you down".

That was my message. I was standing up for us ... standing to say we can't change what has been done here. Don't let someone sitting in judgement of you get the upper hand.
Baylee was wrong in the way she released her frustration 'with herself' . She showed "no respect" towards her fellow posters.
NO ONE DESERVES to be treated in that manner. People don't always agree with each other... but being cruel is not a solution.

Maybe I am wrong... and I should attack back.. in the same way that I feel attacked. Maybe I should have said ... "YOU ARE WRONG BAYLEE" because I do think she was wrong in her "behavior". But I won't take Baylees right to her feelings away from her... I would just suggest she find "kinder and more appropriate" way to express them.
But... I choose to let Baylee go find her way and I stay here and help do damage control.

Many of us were here the day Sara joined our group. Baylee was definitely here.
If Sara could lose 135 lbs during that time... then it obviously wasn't our fault that Baylee did not.
Our sitting at the computers did not stop Sara... Baylee will see that too someday.
Instead of focusing on what is wrong with "us".... she will have to focus on what is wrong with "her program" and quit sitting in judgement of others.

BUT... I also feel... we need to focus on ourselves too.
To learn from this.... as hurtful as it is.... we need to look within ourselves and ask... what can I learn from this. To NOT be a victim... but to be stronger than ever.

I hope Baylee learns to be more compassionate in her choice of words.
I hope Tina learns that other peoples opinion of her is just that... only their opinion and not that of the entire group.
I hope we all learn that it takes more than just wishing we were thin to get thin.
I hope you learn that when I say "we can learn from Baylee's comments" that I am NOT agreeing with Baylee.
I am choosing to make this unfortunate situation make me stronger, wiser and more respectful to others.
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Old 05-03-2003, 03:54 PM   #4
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Well. I really don't know what to say after all of that. All I know is that I love this little group of ours. Anyone who doesn't want to be a part of it can leave. No one is forcing anyone to stay. However, I found Baylee's remarks hurtful to say the least. I hope she finds the help she needs and maybe finds a little compassion along the way. Our passions are what make us who we are. Freedom of speech is one of the great reasons that make this country a wonderful place to live. So, no one should take to heart what Baylee said. Continue to post as we have, and let this thread carry on. That's it on the subject for me. I had a very busy day at work today. I think I'm going to go walking at the track tonight since I can't go to Curves. I'll try to pop back in later.
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Old 05-03-2003, 04:26 PM   #5
Dancing those pounds away
 
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Hi Steph !!! Way to go walking at the track when you could not go to Curves. I am going to follow your lead and do something physical today too.
I was so happy to see your little friends...
We needed those cheerful little buddies to cheer this place up a bit.

I want to share some good news.
While out of town I only had one minor slip.
I told my sister I did not want her to bring me a sandwich and when she did anyways... I ate it. I did not stand my ground and say "thank you but no thank you".
I resorted back to my people pleasing ways of not wanting to offend her.
I will learn this lesson. It is okay to say no even when someone is being nice.

Okay.. I am gone for the day. I will be back tonight I am sure. LOL

here are a few friends to join Stephs.... anyone else want to come out and play?

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Old 05-03-2003, 04:34 PM   #6
a work in progress...
 
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Exclamation Geez, I turn my back on you girls for five minutes...

Good grief...well, if nothing else, it sure upped the posting around here!

I think I gave the wrong impression. I'm not going anywhere, I just need to pull back for a bit, and get my proverbial s*** together, so that I can come here and not feel like a fraud posting about weight loss, when it just aint happening here.

Then again...who says I have to talk about weight loss anyway?

I could talk about the wackos in my family. I'm about to go see some of them. Should be fun. My niece just called to tell me that her father's (my brother's) wife punched his ex wife (niece's mother) in the jaw last night. They're all invited to this First Holy Communion party we're about to go to. Hoo boy. Should be fun.

Anyway...you haven't gotten rid of me. I'll be around.

And Barb...we ARE getting together this summer!
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Last edited by katrinabgood : 05-03-2003 at 04:51 PM.
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Old 05-03-2003, 04:47 PM   #7
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Wow, I just came on here and read some of the posts from the other threads--and what can I say?

Though I strongly agree that we are all entitled to our opinions and whether we want to post here or leave altogether, I personally think that it could have been handled in a better and tactful way. To hurl insults at others that do post here because they aren't being "perfect" is more defeating the purpose than encouraging them. Just because we aren't always "on" with our food or we miss a workout or walk here and there doesn't make us bad people--it happens to the best of us. It's best NOT to dwell on those "bad days," but rather talk about them, and then move on.

As for sizes, different people are built differently. Some are broader in the shoulders, some have smaller busts, some are prone to ample hips. That is why there is something called the tape measure and size charts. Rest assured I could tell you that five people of the exact same weight are not going to wear the exact same size--it's nearly impossible. Heck, when I was 19 and weighed 137 pounds (and bulimic to boot), I still wore a size 11. Also figure in childbearing years and maturity--our bodies are not the same at 41 as they were at 21.

In addition to my journey to keep both my health and build a longer life, I am also a member of the plus size movement, so naturally, I am usually appalled when someone is insulted based on their size.

As for racing, I do like it, but since our cable around here is basically crappy, I tend to like having Tina around to give a recap once in a while ...besides, she could like a whole lot worse, say being a bank robber or a serial killer. And from what I have read in her posts, she's also holding a very responsible job.

Thank goodness for this forum, or I wouldn't be inspired--nor have gotten so much vital information. It is also nice to chitchat once in a while and let off steam--there is more to life than dieting.

OK, I have concluded my sermon. Next?
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Old 05-03-2003, 05:33 PM   #8
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Talking Sorry, I forgot to add one thing....



For those of you that are interested, the race is on tonight at 7:00pm EST because it is a night race. For those of you that are not interested, that's ok too.

Work was horrid today....we were absolutely slammed and I don't think the new girl is going to work out very well. In my job, you have to put your best foot forward and these calls have to be dispatched professionally and I'm just not sure she fits the mold. If she was just slow on the typing or something like that, we could work on it, but there are lots of other issues......oh well. We'll see.

Food has been pretty good except for one....well two days this week and exercise has been good too. I'm not pushing myself though. I'm doing the one mile WATP at least once, but trying for twice. Although I do not have any facts to back up what I'm about to say, I have heard it was better to exercise for ten minutes three times a day, then to exercise thirty minutes all at one time, and if you really think about it, it makes sense. That's two to three times a day that you are speeding up your metabolism instead of just once. Anyways, I like it and the only drawback is getting sweaty twice a day instead of once.

Also, I want to thank all of you here for your support of me. Not just for your everyday support, but coming out with your battle shields on when one of us are attacked. It is one thing to feel that you are not getting any help from the website and leaving, it is quite another to throw insults at someone who has never tried to do anything but help you. Perhaps two years ago, something like this would have hurt me to the point that I would have left, but not now. I may be overweight, but I am entitled to my opinions, just like we all are. I encourage each and every one of us to talk about the things we like or don't like (whatever the case may be) .....that's what we are here for.

Baylee felt the need to strike out, for some reason at me in particular. What I do with her hateful words are up to me. If I told you they didn't hurt, I would be lying. They did. So if that was her intention, she succeeded. But she didn't break me. I'll not stop coming here. I can't. I love you guys to much. Will I still talk about Tony? Yes, I will. If it's not something you like, that's ok. I don't expect you to like it. As I said, I encourage everyone here to talk about anything they like....that's how we get to know one another.

That's all I have to say for now on this subject. I can promise you, I'm fine. I won't leave you. The problems I have with my weight are my problems, and I would never blame them on anyone else. I personally do not know what I would do without any of you. Some I have known seems like forever and are my cherished friends.....some I am just beginning to know, yet you are my friends too because we are all working towards the same goal.........no matter how slow or how fast we get there.

Have a wonderful night.
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Last edited by QueenB : 05-03-2003 at 05:39 PM.
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Old 05-03-2003, 05:44 PM   #9
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Talking More about me

Wow I can't believe I missed a whole thread. After reading it maybe it was just as well.
So I had some requests for my story and I'll tell it to you as well as I can.
I'm 32 going to turn 33 on May 5, and I've been overweight my whole life. I always hovered right around 250-260 until I had my daughter. After having her I have put on roughly 100lbs. Last time I weighed myself I was 363 I live in Colorado and last semester I attended college full time over 60 miles away. I don't know if I can do that this summer. I failed 3 out of 5 classes so I'm not feeling very successful. I think if I go down to half time I can handle it.
I also didn't do much with my weight. When I started the semester I was determined to lose weight, but I got so busy that I ended up eating out a lot. I'm determined that while I have a week off from school I'm going to make a plan and stick with it.
I'm married, in October we will celebrate our 5th annversary. My daughter just turned 4 on April 2. I had hoped to have lost my weight by October so my hubby and I could renew our vows at my new weight, but I guess that won't be this anniversary.
I live in the middle of nowhere, so I can't join WW as much as I would like to.(It is the only plan I've ever been successful with.) I am considering joining TOPS since we do have that. I have also considered Body for Life but I don't know if that is practical for someone who weighs as much as I do.
I'm drawn to this group because you seem to have such a strong community and you are all in a similar situation to my own. I really need to have some other women who understand where I'm coming from and want to share my journey to my goal. I've looked at several groups and you seem to be the one with staying power and a strong will to succeed.
I'm willing to take any suggestions on a plan, but I have a very limited budget. I do have access to a weight room at the local high school as well as one I haven't even checked out at the college. So that is it for now I suppose. I'll gladly answer any questions, and thanks for the warm welcome to your group.


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Old 05-03-2003, 07:03 PM   #10
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Well I'm back again. After I last posted, I did my WATP 1 mile tape. Then I put the kids in the stroller and walked down to the park where we played for about 40 minutes before my husband came there from work. He watched the kids and I walked across the street to the track and walked 4 laps, which is about a mile. Also, for the last 30 seconds or so, I jogged. Go me! Now I'm going to throw some chicken and veggies on the grill and toss a salad for dinner. I actually think Baylee's post made me want to get up and move my body, so maybe it wasn't all bad. I'm all the more determined to get this weight off now. Not that I have to prove myself to anyone but myself. I think I'll consider it a challenge. I want to follow in Sara's footsteps and be the next success story.
Amanda- glad to have you back. Thanks for telling us a little about yourself. This really is a great group.
Lori- I agree fully with your post. Well said!
Tina- I'm proud of you and I don't mind hearing about Tony.
Kat-glad to hear you're not totally leaving us.
Well, the grill is calling. Bye!
Steph
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Old 05-03-2003, 07:05 PM   #11
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Good Evening Everyone!
I am happy to see everyone popping in to post and I am so proud of the encouragement that everyone is providing!
I don't have time at the moment to reply to everyone, but I wanted to share a couple things with you. I decided to start cleaning out my closet and figuring out what I have to take on vacation in 2 weeks --- low and behold it was like going shopping. I found 5 pair of shorts that didn't fit last summer that now fit!!! What a great feeling. I didn't realize what a difference 26 pounds would make!!!

Charlee, my little Chihuahua graduated from an 8 week puppy class today. It was so cute --- grad hat, music and all. I'm going to be brave and post a picture. (hopefully it works). Here are Charlee and I at her graduation today....

Jeff and I are going out to run some errands and whatnot...
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Old 05-03-2003, 07:12 PM   #12
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Opps, didn't work - let me try again...
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Old 05-03-2003, 07:57 PM   #13
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Default Wow.

I've been busy for the last few days, taking care of my friends' children because of a death in their family. For the first time in the last year, I can honestly say I hadn't read the thread for four solid days.

Here's a bit of my take on what's been going on.

Significantly overweight women are suffering. Obese women who are suffering often feel isolated and this can lead to feelings of depression. (If not general depression, then depression surrounding weight issues for sure.) Support groups allow women to make connections with others dealing with weight issues. While some may see these support groups as being full of "pity-fests", I see them as an opportunity for connectness, where women realize that they're not alone. Women are comforted by the validation of their struggles. This connectedness, this comfort, this validation of feelings, provides the mental foundation necessary to set about making the changes necessary for weight loss.

Not everyone makes use of every opportunity... some people have to build their foundation slowly, after a number of life experiences.

Some may not even need comradary on their journey.

But for those that do, even if they don't jump on the weight loss bandwagon, isn't that comfort derived from connectedness worth a heck of a lot itself?

That moment when you say to yourself "I know EXACTLY what that women is saying. I've felt that way so many times but I've never heard it verbalized before." Isn't that moment where you begin to know yourself more deeply SO incredibily important to your self-development?

Some people may not be helped by this connectness.

I know it certainly helped me though... and not just with weight loss.

And Thin, I didn't get a chance to thank you for the card. Thanks!
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Old 05-03-2003, 08:19 PM   #14
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Talking Here is progress.....



The one on the left was taken 8/14/02
The one on the right was taken 3/23/03

While it is not as huge a transaction as Sara's, it is progress, and it's certainly better than standing still.

Sara: Thank you for what you said. You're the best.

Barb: What a lovely picture of you. You're very pretty.
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Old 05-03-2003, 08:28 PM   #15
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Talking AND ONE MORE THING...

Support groups can keep you ACCOUNTABLE! I've been a huge piggy in the last 3 days and that's about enough of that! From this moment on... I'm back on track! Because I've told you... I'm COMMITTED to this declaration!
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