...this is the 2nd day and i am almost ready to tear my hair out of my head. Wtf is wrong with me? I haven't touched anything sweet for 2 days and it feels exactly as it did when i gave up smoking almost 9 years ago. I feel frustrated and angry and needy all the bleeding time. I have no choice to any sweets either because i threw everything in the bin and i am glad i did because i would be stuffing my face right now, which would probably be bad for my health too. because i talked to a physician and he told me that the numbness in my hands and fingertips might be from type 2 diabetes which i have encountered in the past when i got pretty big at 182 pounds.
I also feel guilty because my four year old daughter wanted a chocolate yesterday morning and i told her i threw them away because i cannot eat them, and then my husband chimed in and said that i am egotistical because i look only at what i need and not what everyone else wants. So we went out and i bought her two cupcakes and let her have them and 2 more for him and i ate none.....i feel angry and bitter at his behavior towards me.....
The only positive thing is that i keep on bicycling everyday and i am doing some cardio also. I am putting small milestones in my workout. I have done 220 khm right now and i am aiming at 500 which is the distance to the second capital of my country, then at 1000, and so on......in the end i want to reach Ireland which is 3000 khm away from me.....and if i can in my mind i am going to remain there and NOT come back.....