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Old 01-08-2013, 01:20 PM   #1
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Default Changes I Have Made

I really need to lose this weight. It has me disgusted, uncomfortable, in pain and ashamed.

I posted on a marriage forum about the lack of sex in my marriage due to my feelings on my weight and how I am getting desperate to lose it. I was totally dogged out and told I must not be trying hard enough. In fact, I was told that if I'm not getting a solid hour of exercise in, I won't lose weight. Currently I can get up to 31 minutes of walking in and 12 wall push ups in at a time.

I eliminated sugar from my coffee but still use creamer.
Gave up mayo and butter years ago.
Gave up cereal a year ago.
Hardly eat bread but when I do, opt for whole grain.
If I eat pasta, I try to eat whole grain.
I elimimated most soda, mabe have 2 a month.
IF we eat out, I choose from the "healthy choice" items.
I eat lots of greens in my salad and started measuring dressing.
I increased my water consumption and flavor with cucumber and lemon.

Even after all these changes, the weight is so slow to come off. I'm really upset because their were men and women on the marriage forum saying how they would divorce their spouse if they got fat and didn't lose it. Here I am trying and hardly seeing progress.

If I get excited about a loss in weight, it is short lived. The next weigh in always goes back up.

What is going on?!
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Old 01-08-2013, 01:28 PM   #2
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Okay, first of all you probably need to get off that forum. It isn't doing anything to help you out!

Secondly, how many calories are you eating? You can make all the changes to your diet that you want, but whether or not you lose weight ultimately comes down to how many calories you're consuming.
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Old 01-08-2013, 01:38 PM   #3
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If you are being honest with yourself (even when I write down my calories, I tend to stretch a lot), maybe you should have a thyroid test done or ask your doctor. You may need a supplement or something.

I agree with sontaikle, get off that forum.

Good luck!
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Old 01-08-2013, 02:06 PM   #4
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I agree with the others, get off that forum!

Secondly, and back to your food plan, it all depends on when you say "Hardly eat __________, but when I do...." what that really means.

For me, hardly eating something is ice cream (I don't like it really). I will eat ice cream maybe once a year. So, when I say, "I hardly eat ice cream, but when I do, I eat Haagen Daz" that means I eat it once a year. Your "hardly" may mean 1 time per week or twice a week.

Also, your portion of pasta -- whether it's whole wheat or not -- maybe too big. One of the things that I discovered with calorie counting was how small portions were! I really thought I was eating a lot less than I was because I had no real concept of a what a portion meant.

Once I started counting my portions (by weighing and measuring my food) I realized that I really overate. I was a generally healthy eater (I didn't eat too much junk food) but I just ate a lot.

I hate restaurants and their "healthy" choice items. They are always around 500 calories. That leaves no room for appetizers or desserts or a glass of wine!

The other thing you may need to revise (and none of this has to be done all at once!) is how many vegetables you're eating. I find that when I stop eating my 5 servings a day, I start to fill up with "healthy" sweet snacks, like Kind bars. Which are a lot higher in calories than an apple or an orange as a snack!

Good luck. And about the whole weight gain/marriage thing... You have to trust that your husband loves you for who you are... Whether you are thinner or heavier than before. If he doesn't, then maybe he's not the type of man you want to be married to. My own boyfriend prefers me thinner, because it plays into the whole "hot girlfriend" thing he would like to do (i.e. show me off and stuff) but he also will love me at my current weight and even when I was much heavier. I hope your husband is the same way. Don't let the trolls at the marriage website make you feel bad about yourself.
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Old 01-08-2013, 02:11 PM   #5
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ITA... That forum does not sound helpful...

One suggestion I would have is... Do you keep a food journal? Not saying it's something to do for the rest of your life or anything like that, but even just doing it for a week or two to see exactly what your eating, how much, and even perhaps when you are eating and why might be helpful. This way you can get an idea of approximately how many calories you're taking in and how it fits in with your goals...

I know everyone wants to lose the all the weight, like yesterday (myself included...) but for me at least, when I take a little time to figure out where I'm at... It helps me better to get to where I want to go...
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Old 01-08-2013, 03:46 PM   #6
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I echo what the others said:

1. Get off that forum. Anyone who says they'd leave their spouse if they gained weight doesn't take marriage, or their vows, seriously! Marriage isn't about bailing when the other person is having a tough time and struggling with something. That's crap and you shouldn't listen to people like that!

2. Even if you make healthier choices, it comes down to how much you're eating. Even if you don't want to count calories as an everyday thing, my best advice would be to do it for at least a couple days to a week to get an idea of how much you are actually eating. Record every single bite, every splash of oil/salad dressing/creamer. . . everything.

3. Whatever exercise you do, for however long, is FINE! I've lost nearly 100 pounds have have worked out sporadically. Some months GREAT, some months nothing at all. Not saying that's ideal, because I wish I'd have been more consistent, but you don't have to exercise to lose weight.

4. If you want to cover all your bases you definitely could see your dr for some blood work.

5. My and my husband's sex life was pretty dismal until I started losing weight because the weight killed my libido and self confidence. Now it's great! You will get there.

Last edited by LockItUp; 01-08-2013 at 03:47 PM.
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Old 01-08-2013, 09:41 PM   #7
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Check your thyroid...and good luck you seem to be doing the right things....keep fighting the good fight!
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Old 01-08-2013, 10:08 PM   #8
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How slow is slow? It takes a while. One or two pounds a week is the norm. You're making great strides, and any amount of exercise is excellent! Count your calories and watch your portions. If you stall out, change up your routine.

Negativity is the name of the game on a lot of forums. Do not buy into it. Talk to your hubby about your efforts and share your concerns. He'll appreciate your hard work.

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Old 01-09-2013, 01:24 AM   #9
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First of all you must check your diet plan which you have right now Try to make a new diet plan for you In which you should add less chalories food Take a daily walk or start running if possible.What hard work are you doing now a days to lose weight ?
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Old 01-09-2013, 11:21 AM   #10
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First of all, the people on that forum sound extremely shallow. Marriage isn't about being with someone who is thin/heavy. It's a commitment to love that person no matter what. All that matters is what YOUR husband thinks. If your sex life is suffering, there may be other things at play (stress, etc). The only way to figure that out why your sex life is lacking is to talk to your husband (calmly and w/o accusing).

As for weight loss. I just started my weight loss journey and it is slow. Unfortunately, it will seem to take forever and you might stumble and take two steps forward, one back. But it's all about being persistent. If you fall off the wagon, get RIGHT BACK ON. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not after the weekend. Immediately. Otherwise, you'll always be trying to lose weight "tomorrow." I've been waiting for "tomorrow" for the past year. It never comes, unless you put your foot down and start today. Another thing that helps me is measuring EVERYTHING and writing it down w/the calories. I don't think you realize TRULY how much you're eating unless you do that. Well, at least I didn't. My portion sizes were extremely distorted.

hugs and good luck! You can do this!
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