Why did I do this to myself - again?
 

So...I was often on here this summer/fall, I lost about 15 pounds, I took up running and I felt great.

Then I got ever so tired from getting up many times every night to care after one of my twins who has health issues, I stopped losing weight thinking I could get back to in any time later when I can sleep properly and don't feel so exhausted. As you're reading this you're probably realising I didn't mantain my weight loss - oh no! I started eating whatever I fancied. Then I got pregnant and was sick for three months, but not like ordinary women who lose weight when they are sick - no such luck - I had to eat to not feel sick, so I ate. And ate. Then saddly we lost our baby, which left me heartbroken...and even more fat as I ate chocolate to deal with my pain. Do I need to add that festive season did not help?

All in all, here I am, fatter than ever. I just picked the courage to weight myself, and I weight 16 pounds more than when I STARTED TO LOSE WEIGHT last summer. Oh joy! I feel so stupid for letting this happen.

So, I am pretty determined to get back to shape, be healthier, happier and all. No more sweets for me. Watching what I eat, running around with my children, and hopefully I will be here in the "minigoals" section in three months, 30 pounds lighter!

I'm very sorry for your loss and for the awful time you've had. I really think that if the only thing you've turned to through these awful life events has been a bit of chocolate, you really need to pat yourself on the back rather than beating yourself up.

Of course we'd all like to be that woman who goes for long runs when we need comfort but life isn't like that for all of us. If you are starting your new lifestyle today, then best of luck with it but I can't see the point in feeling guilty or stupid over what you've done in the past. If anything, take strength from the fact that you know that you can get rid of 15lbs because you've done it before.

I am so sorry for your loss, Ronja - I can't imagine how difficult the second half of 2012 was for you with all of these challenges and heartache! The first thing I hope you'll do is to stand back and remember to be gentle with yourself. No good has ever come from the guilt and self-criticism we pile on - if that helped us lose weight, I'm sure all of us here would be supermodel skinny!

You've taken the first, powerful step - you faced the scale, now you have a plan. Huge props to you for starting!

You're not stupid, Ronja - you're HUMAN. You have suffered through a lot and think if you were facing someone else who'd been through all that. You certainly wouldn't call them stupid and get irritated with them. Be compassionate to yourself! Sounds like you've picked yourself up - now dust yourself off and get to work! You can do it, and good for you for focusing on the healthier side of it!

:hug:

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry for your loss! I just can't even imagine!

And please don't call yourself stupid, it happens! It certainly happened to me!!! Weight can be re-lost, I know it's discouraging and can be frustrating, but you will get there.

Big hugs!

I'm so sorry for your loss!! Losing a child is just wrong. I lost my first born 15 years ago.

You've been through a lot, so don't kick yourself. Just keep moving forward. And hey, 16 pounds is nuthin'! Try fourty! That's what I packed on between my last diet and this one. Oh, and this is major diet #3 for me, and I'm determined not to repeat. I have come to the conclusion that it's not so much about how you get there, but what you do once your'e there.

Welcome!! Good luck!! You can do it!!

>Hugs< I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't even begin to imagine:( As far as the eating, I've been there. I use to tell myself it was okay to eat whatever I wanted because it would make it a challenge to lose it all. There's really no point in looking back now, just picture your goal and charge at it!

Hey, Ronja--I'm so sorry. That's a really hard year. You did what you had to to get through. I think this year will be easier.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Ronja. You are an incredible woman with such great strength. You can do it and everyone on here has your back!

First of all, I'm so so sorry for your loss. :(

Second, I'm in the same boat with the regain. I haven't been on here in over a year, when I was 37 pounds down. How depressing it was to come back on here and have to change my profile and siggy back up 29 pounds! I'm so pissed at myself. BUT I try to look at the bright side- I did it once, I can do it again. And I try to remind myself how GOOD I was feeling as I was losing. That's all you can do, don't beat yourself up. Keep your positive attitude and keep going!! Best of luck to you :)

I'm sorry for your loss. Good luck with your weight loss journey, you can do this

Oh wow. That sounds like a terrible year, I am so sorry for loss. And congrats for taking charge again. Good luck!