When it doesn't "feel" like you are on plan
 

What do you do to keep your head straight?

Tonight, I measured my dinner out - 4 oz protein, 1/2 cup of the starch, big pile of green beans and mushrooms. I ate it, and it was delicious, and it did not feel like a diet meal . In fact, my whole day (came in just under 1300 cals) did not feel like a day watching my weight! This should be great, but instead I feel uneasy, like something must be wrong - hidden calories, something I magically forgot about, SOMETHING can't be right and I can't be burning fat feeling sated.

I happen to be calorie counting, but I've had this problem with previous eating plans, as well. I feel like it is ineffective if I'm not uncomfortable. If I eat enough volume to feel nice and full, even if the cals/carbs etc work out right, something is messed up in my head and I feel very scared and discouraged.

This had caused me to scrap plans before, even when I was seeing results!!

Does anyone here understand what I'm trying to say?

I understand what you are saying. Sounds like you found the sweet spot though: a way of eating where you don't feel like its a diet but rather a way you can actually live with long term. Shut that other part down! Retrain yourself. You know you're in a deficit, that will show on the scale over time. Enjoy this time!!!! I envy you because I still feel a little bitter about not eating crap tons of junk food all the time like I used to lol. Of course I'm happier with his way of life! But you know what I mean.

I've gotten a lot more moderate in my mindset by constantly telling myself maintenance will look almost exactly what I'm doing right now, in terms of calories and exercise. I'll get in add in a snack, basically. There's very likely not going to be a time for me where I eat the right amount without counting calories and measuring things.
I need to be doing things today I can do forever, or I'm just going to lose and regain. Yes, I really could force myself to eat less and lose faster, but that isn't preparing me to do anything. I'll just get to my goal again, and fail, again!

If you feel okay (hunger wise) now, you ARE preparing yourself for maintenance. :carrot:

Yeah, I felt the same way today. I had greek yogurt and a banana for breakfast, snacked on some salsa and chips, later had some string cheese, then more crackers and cheese and then ate chicken, green beans and couscous for dinner. I feel like I've been eating all day but it totaled 1400 calories. I think it was keeping the excess carbs out and spacing my meals so I was never hungry. But, yeah, I feel like I could have restricted more. Almost like - could this really be all I need to do? That seems too easy.

I agree with the notion that if you're eating small meals and snacking throughout the day, you're never really hungry AND seeing results.

But think about how uncomfortable it feels to skip meals, run ourselves down, and then binge until we're too full for comfort. Not sure about your previous eating habits, but gaining weight isn't comfortable no matter how we're eating.

Sounds like you have some anxiety going on. I can relate.

Good luck and keep doing what is working for you!

I guess a diet doesn't always have to be painful or uncomfortable to be successful. I make a point to fit in sweets now, for example, whereas before my diet I would try to never eat them, and then would binge on them. So, my diet has not only made my overall eating habits better, but it has also taken away some stress and guilt that I felt over a "bad" food.

I feel the same way. Like some sort of diet shoggoth is going to leap out of my chicken and tackle me into the ways of eating cardboard for dinner.

Same thing today. I ate right up to my limit, didn't eat back exercise calories, but feel uneasy.

I do appreciate the commiseration.

Unfortunately I still want to pig out. I guess I should be thankful my system adjusted to smaller portions quickly.

I think the problem is that we're taught that the appropriate response to being unable to stick to our plan perfectly (or at least relatively well), is to give up - so when we feel like we're off-plan (whether we are or not) the logical response is to quit.

At the very least, we're taught to diet by the binge/start-fresh cycle. If we eat off plan (even a bite) we're tempted to binge like we'll never see food again until we can start fresh tomorrow (or if it's close to the weekend, we'll binge all weekend and start fresh Monday morning).

Just by trading the"start fresh" mentality for a "moving on" philosophy has done wonders for me.

I've used this analogy before - but if we treated mountain climbing like we do dieting, most people wouldn't survive it - because whenever you tripped or stumbled, you'd throw yourself off the cliff-face so that you could "start fresh" from the bottom.

Just by deciding to never throw myself over the cliff, I've managed to lose over 100 lbs.

I actually have far more trouble staying "on plan" than I ever have before (for a lot of reasons). Even though I make far more off-plan mistakes than I've ever made before, I've been able to get and keep off more than 100 lbs only because I've eliminated the mistake-triggered "I've blown it, so might as well eat all night" binges.

My "feelings" about whether or not I'm on plan (perfectly or not) have no bearings on my NEXT food choice. Even if I do make an off-plan mistake it doesn't affect what I do next. I move on, I don't start over.

I have to remind myself of this a lot - that my "feelings" don't matter and that there is no starting over, just moving on.

I don't have to worry about whether or not I was perfectly on plan, because my choices are still the same at my next meal - do what I know works, or do what I know doesn't.

It's hard to take feelings out of the equations, and even harder to avoid the destructive "traditions" of weight loss that say "when eating off plan, continue eating until the next appropriate starting-fresh point."

Jeminijad,
You summed up my feeling of the last two days perfectly. Today I ate out and estimated the calories very generously (high) just to be "safe." even doing so, I *believe* I am at 1000 cals with a snack yet to come. I'm scared to have that snack. What if that meal out was even MORE calories than I thought? I think for me, part of the problem is only weighing in once a week. I don't own a scale and weigh in on the day I visit my parents. I think I need to get one on the one hand, but on the other I know from the past that weighing myself every day is an emotional roller coaster.

It's great that you feel sated. Like was said, this means it is sustainable and that is the key! It makes me suspicious too though. I totally get you.

^This.

A lot of "dieting advice" seems to contain underlying (or not so under-, even) messages about how it's all about "willpower", "resisting temptation", "stick to plan perfectly", etc. Even if things are/have been changing in that regard in some meal plans, it's probably something that's been ingrained for so long that thinking differently is hard. So whevener we find ourselves NOT feeling deprived, immediately we tend to think that we did something wrong.

Or something like that.

I am stll fairly new to this board but am constantly amazed that so many of you are feeling the same things that I am. It really is a good feeling to talk to others that understand :)

My theory, for whatever it's worth:

Our bodies adjust. So, if you had eaten like you did today at the very beginning of your journey, you almost certainly would have felt uncomfortable and hungry. You did, you dealt with it, and then you saw good results. And probably really good, "start of the diet plan" results. And if you're like me, you have spent a lot of time starting over. (Kaplods - you, as always, are so right!) So, it's ingrained in your mind that hunger/discomfort equals good scale results.

Maybe, with enough time at this "normal" way of eating and consistently good scale results (some loss, some maintaining), your mind will get used to being comfortable and satisfied and feeling like you're on your way.