[RachelRawr]

haha. I love that analogy, DougsGirl!

[mandypandy2246]

Those are some interesting thoughts! Its funny .... I wonder if I willl start taking better care as I get thinner. I've noticed it a bit with my hair - I do it more often. I wonder where that comes from. I would guess from two places. 1) When we are fat we may think we aren't going to look that great anyway and not bother. No amount of make up or clothes choosing will hide your fat. 2) If you are eating healthy and dieting you are saying to yourself "I am worth it" ... so maybe that makes you feel more worth grooming and making pretty?

I don't know. Just some ideas. Interesting though.

[nicolasmummy]

I was like this, but i told myself if im gonna lose this weight i need to feel gd about the other aspects of me not just how much i weigh. So i know take time each day when my little ones in bed to relax and pamper myself, even if its just a bubble bath or do my nails. Really does make a lot of difference to hoe i feel about myself x

[Amarantha2]

I used to feel out of charity with my body when I was growing up because I was teased a lot about being "ugly." It had nothing to do with weight as I was actually underweight as a child.

As I got older and had varying issues with food & weight, a funny thing happened, I realized that far from being "ugly," I am a beautiful person, physically & spiritually.

That still has nothing to do with weight. When I was quite heavy I knew I was beautiful and now that I am aging (fast some days lol), I still feel beautiful.

I always know there is one person (besides the dog lol) who loves me and loves the body I live in, and that is me.

If I didn't, I never would have had a major weight loss. I did it for me, because I knew I was beautiful and wanted to be even more so.

True story.

[caliyah]

The more I lose the more I hate myself because I realize I'll never look good.

[owlsteazombies]

Originally Posted by caliyah

The more I lose the more I hate myself because I realize I'll never look good.

This. My husband bought me a necklace and earrings for Christmas and I returned them because I'll never be attractive enough to wear them.

[caliyah]

Originally Posted by owlsteazombies

This. My husband bought me a necklace and earrings for Christmas and I returned them because I'll never be attractive enough to wear them.

But you have someone that loves you enough to buy them at least. I have no one and am forever alone.

[Vex]

Yes, and it's the strangest thing.

I used to go swimming at 280 all the time. It seriously did not bother me one bit. Now I have excess skin on my legs, and know I'm going to feel self conscious about it. My entire body, including my face, looks like a deflated balloon.

I wish I could bottle some of that "I really don't care how I look" feeling and use it again in a more positive manner. We'll see.

Do I regret losing the weight because of this excess skin? NO WAY.

[nasu27]

yeah, i do feel like that, and regret being fat, but then after joining this forum i know i'm not alone and start to change my mind to see this positively, at least i'm better than before, and doing good, and such a fighter!

[coffeeshopgirl]

I can also relate! I was just in the Weight Loss Confessions thread and it made me think of my past and present thoughts on body image.

In college I was too busy to care about my weight, but I was satisfied with my body. After college, once I stopped walking around campus all day, I started gaining to my current weight. I was able to lose 20 pounds over a summer, then gained it all back in the winter, and I repeated this cycle for about 5 years. I thought I was depressed, and then one year, I actually was (life happens right?).

Through these years, I learned how to accept myself for who I was, not for how much I weighed. Now that I've accepted myself, I can honestly say that I'm nervous about going back to the thinner me. I've accepted how depressing my body made me so that I could finally start my weight loss journey. Before accepting myself, I was in denial and hated myself for denying my weight (then repeat repeat repeat this cycle).

So, I can certainly relate. What helps me stay on track is managing my stress level, whether it's depression or anxiety (or anything else in between). As long as I'm aware of my state of mind, I can shift my thoughts into a positive/non-stress mode as soon as I'm ready. I was so down that this was imperative for me to stay positive, and it just happened to correlate with my weight loss habits.

Sorry for rambling, but you post was inspiring . I suppose like our cravings and exercise motivations, the body awareness also needs constant attention. We need to remind ourselves why we're doing this and to love/accept ourselves at every step of the journey.

Cheers to our progress in 2013!

[Ferny1730]

This is really interesting. I found as well that at my highest weight and size years ago there was a certain freedom that came with being fat. I wore sweatpants and sweatshirts everyday, never wore make-up, and didn't bother to do anything with my hair. And people still liked me and I was still able to make friends.

Once I lost the weight, my appearance mattered again. That is both a stressor, and also a confidence-builder, since I love doing my hair and make-up and looking really cute.

[avalonmoon]

I can relate .. But now my mind set is turned around and I'm no longer neglecting my body, I'm loving it. No matter how far I am from goal, I treat my body more kindly. My 'new' way of thinking changes everything for the better these days ..

[theox]

I understand where you're coming from, although I've only felt like that during fleeting moments. I do sometimes feel sad and frightened about how much excess weight I have been carrying around, and I sometimes feel sad about the career that didn't happen because I couldn't get the weight off (and which I'm now too old for) and the potential romantic difficulties that are related to being fat and its side effects (e.g., loose skin, saggy boobs). Sometimes I feel frustrated with myself for not being more perfect or angry at my parents for not having taken better care of me in that respect.

However, on the whole I'm glad to be in better touch with my body - not only with its limitations and imperfections, but with its strengths and potential, too. And, of course, pretty or ugly, I think I'll be able to maximize my experiences when I'm at a healthier weight and more fit.

Be kind to yourself.

[karen98745]

Originally Posted by RachelRawr

That's so weird. I was JUST feeling that way the other day. I'm actually at the lowest weight i've ever been as an adult, but every time I look in the mirror i'm just so disappointed with what i've let myself become. It's almost like...the better I do...the more i hate myself for not doing it sooner.

I felt the same.

[Tenoreo90]

I completely know what you mean, though I never thought of it that way before. I guess that's why it's hard to get past the inital part of weight loss...you know, weeks or even months before it's noticable. Because the whole time you're going, "How did it get this bad? What is wrong with me?" And you just want to crawl back into your hole of ignorance and eat....or at least that's how I feel.