Weight Loss Support Give and get support here!

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Old 11-28-2012, 08:59 AM   #16  
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This is just a little creepy. Does your wife know you are discussing her weight and her dark silky thighs in a public forum?

She is not a child. This is not the 1950's.

Just odd.
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Old 11-28-2012, 09:35 AM   #17  
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I think it is only logical that as a husband you are concerned for her health. But it is her life and she has to be the one to make the changes and even more so want to make them.

My husband is over weight and crazy unhealthy, so I do understand where you are coming from.

But part of me reads your post and thinks you may be coming across a bit pushy and perhaps that is why she is cranky all the time lol.

I was talking with my sister not that long ago about dieting and how people around us can show support. No one is so stupid that they don't realize their food is making them fat. We may try to live in denial or ignore it but we know. And it can be very difficult to walk that line of support without being judgmental, pushy, or even worse make us feel unattractive or worse about ourselves then we already do.

I think the best type of support is just being there for the person. Letting them know that you are there for them & will support them at their pace.

I would for sure talk to her about seeing a new doctor and/or a endocrinologist. I have PCOS myself it sucks lol. Maybe even seeing a nutritionist?

Maybe tell her about this website and ask her if she would like to join. Did you tell her you were posting here? I just find it strange I guess because it seems like you are talking to her about the issue but is she just not doing anything herself? Again you can't force someone else to change and trying will just lead to resentment and alot of bad feelings. Sometimes it can take years before someone is ready to make that change.

Instead of focusing on her losing weight maybe talk about eating healthier. Does she do all the shopping and cooking? You can try shopping together, I always go shopping with my husband I like that Maybe offer to cook more meals or cook together. Take a cooking class together and look up recipes and make them together. Which is super romantic too. It doesn't have to be about losing weight but instead eating healthier meals and trying new healthier foods.

When i cook for my husband I add in tons of veggies and new stuff that he would never eat on his own. He has really loved some things that he never thought he would and has been introduced to new foods and lots of veggies. the other week I made vegan brownies packed with zucchini and pumpkin and dark chocolate. He loved them!

Offer to take a walk in the evening after dinner together. Plan fun romantic dates that involve activity like going to the zoo and walking around or to the park where you can walk and pack healthy lunch. Go swimming, etc... Kindof sucks that it is winter though idk where you live. Maybe take a dance class together?

Small changes like switching to whole wheat and adding in veggies and fruits with meals can add up to bigger changes.
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Old 11-28-2012, 09:51 AM   #18  
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Originally Posted by Concerned Hubby View Post
We have discussed. Just a few minutes ago, as a matter of fact. She's always been a calories in <> calories out believer. When she was eating below 1800, though, she never lost weight. Doctor always says the same thing: just keep at it.
Assuming that 1,800 is her daily caloric allowance that leaves her with a 500 cal defecit (I don't know her height/weight) then she's possibly not tracking correctly if she's not losing. Or she's not giving it enough time.
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Old 11-28-2012, 01:35 PM   #19  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pluckypear View Post
This is just a little creepy. Does your wife know you are discussing her weight and her dark silky thighs in a public forum?

She is not a child. This is not the 1950's.

Just odd.

Agreed! Maybe we should stop feeding the troll?
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Old 11-28-2012, 01:38 PM   #20  
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I think I read somewhere about dark neck skin being related to thyroid problems.
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Old 11-28-2012, 01:47 PM   #21  
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Not trying to sound rude but I think the main problem is that you're posting here and not her.

If she is genuinely tracking everything and eating at a deficit and still not losing then medically there must be something wrong. If there's nothing medically wrong I'd say that she's not being completely honest with what she's eating. Which is normal, I think that's something that a lot of people struggle with.
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Old 11-28-2012, 03:44 PM   #22  
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O.k., well, to those who have done, thanks for the informative replies. As for the rest, no, I'm not trolling. Maybe it's creepy to post here, but it's a lot easier and informative to post on a forum than it is to surf through thousands of websites. And maybe I'm wrong to do it without telling her, but this is all anonymous and she abhors/eschews social networks as a waste of time. I don't, but she does. Nonetheless, point taken. I'll amscray in a moment.

She's an engineer. Recording data (i.e. calories) is something that is second nature, and she has done it multiple times.

I rarely discuss her weight with her, but she complains about it on a daily basis. Most times I do not respond. When I do it is always with encouragement.

We eat different foods and often don't eat together. I do not have a weight problem. She has all but forbidden me from eating along any type of diet plan: when I've done it in the past I have lost weight and she didn't. Nothing is more discouraging than that.

Every so often I get encouraged to try to find a solution.

Oh, well.
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Old 11-29-2012, 08:44 AM   #23  
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Hi Hubby. I'm not sure if you'll return, but if you do then I hope you'll be able to convince your wife to seek out weight loss support here or somewhere else. We can delete your threads for you if you don't want to leave this out in the open. If she is not interested in online support, maybe she can join a local weight loss group such as Weight Watchers or TOPS. Studies have shown that those who join support groups, even online, are more likely to lose the weight and keep it off with continued support. Maybe you can dig up a few stats that will appeal to the engineer in her.

You mention 1800 calories per day, which is a lot for many women trying to lose weight. I personally gain weight on 1800 cal per day. Drop to 1600, 1400, and even 1200 if that's what it finally takes.

Add exercise. While a lot of people can lose weight without exercising, many people can't lose weight without exercise - and a lot of it. You mention she may have PCOS, but her hormone levels were not at the level her doctor wanted to see before treating it. A very large study done a few years ago showed that exercise was more important to treating PCOS than diet, even for the subjects that ate a carb rich diet. But it takes a lot of exercise. Even without PCOS, a lot of women find they can't lose weight by diet alone. Maybe the two of you could find an activity you enjoy and can do every night together.

I'm going to wrap up this thread now since it took a different direction than you intended. If you decide you want us to delete your posts, please let us know. Good luck
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